“I get why she’s single” : T/F?

[Anonymous]

If I hadn't met and married my DH I could've seen myself ending up as one.

I was never a "man magnet" even at the prime of my youth. Growing up a diplobrat I never fit in anywhere and was too exotic for most of the guys at my high school and college. I didnt know how to dress American or talk American.

I was completely single and a virgin until I met my American husband who incidentally was as well traveled and international as me.

But its SO random and lucky that we met and clicked.

It is really really hard to date. If you especially have something that makes you different, even more so.

Average joes can find each other easily because there are so many of them. But if you're special...it takes someone special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men marry for something to take of them (and everything).
Women marry for a life partner to do things 50/50.

Big disconnect so why bother.

Over-generalization reflects poorly on your intelligence.

[Anonymous]

I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

How is this woman a "great catch?" She sounds terrible. Switch out "her" with "him" and see how that sounds to you now. What a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

She doesn't sound like a great catch. Her way or the highway? That is NOT a recipe for an easy marriage.

[Anonymous]

How can someone write “she’s a great catch” and then describe how she isn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

She doesn't sound like a great catch. Her way or the highway? That is NOT a recipe for an easy marriage.

She is educated, has a good job, fun to talk to, has a lot of friends, dresses well and is very pretty, but yeah, terrible at relationships because she sees everything as black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

She doesn't sound like a great catch. Her way or the highway? That is NOT a recipe for an easy marriage.

She is educated, has a good job, fun to talk to, has a lot of friends, dresses well and is very pretty, but yeah, terrible at relationships because she sees everything as black and white.

Being terrible at relationships means she is not a great catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men marry for something to take of them (and everything).
Women marry for a life partner to do things 50/50.

Big disconnect so why bother.

Over-generalization reflects poorly on your intelligence.

yes it's a generalization and stereotype, but that is because is usually true in most cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be honest, since we’re anon. Would you assume a woman who used IVF to have a DB at 40 and had no long-term relationship in the 5 years prior was single for a reason, or just unlucky? Are “most” never-married women between 35-50 “single for a reason”?

I know many women in this situation. I have heard all about their bad date stories. At at that age they have probably heard about about people's bad marriages. Frankly, they're ahead of many who have kids and then divorce. They won't have to go through that hell on earth.

Who you marry is THE biggest decision you can make in life. And even then, things can go awry. Many people who function alright as single folk are just not cut out for a less simple life, a life complicated from a spouse, a house, multiple kids, job careers, two sets of elderly parents, etc. Marriages that work best and longest are when TWO adults marriage each other. If one is not really an adult or adult-like, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, 99% of people will assume she’s single for a reason. Women in this set usually had lots of options, but blew off amazing husband prospects for dumb reasons in their youth.

Now, they’re ready to settle down and getting passed over by all the men they think they’re entitled to (successful, handsome, provider types).

Agree and I have many friends like this. I am from NYC, Manhattan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an unmarried friend who is a great catch and honestly, I think the reason is that she is so incredibly rigid. It is her way or the highway and her way is 100% right and other people are 100% wrong. She wouldn’t even be able to compromise with a man she was dating. You can be friends with a person but in marriage they are impossible.

Sounds like she doesn't want to be married. That is fine. Many people arrive at that same conclusions from different paths, backgrounds, and experiences.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing is expectations. Expectations of the marriage, roles of husband or wife, and expectations of raising the kids.

If you even sense you're not on the same page there, do not bother getting married or having kids together.

If I had asked those above questions, i know I wouldn't have wasted 10 years of my life and had single-parented the house and kids whether I was married or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I hadn't met and married my DH I could've seen myself ending up as one.

I was never a "man magnet" even at the prime of my youth. Growing up a diplobrat I never fit in anywhere and was too exotic for most of the guys at my high school and college. I didnt know how to dress American or talk American.

I was completely single and a virgin until I met my American husband who incidentally was as well traveled and international as me.

But its SO random and lucky that we met and clicked.

It is really really hard to date. If you especially have something that makes you different, even more so.

Average joes can find each other easily because there are so many of them. But if you're special...it takes someone special.

If I had to determine the real reason you had trouble finding dates and friends, I'd say it's because you have an unfounded high opinion of yourself and your "specialness". Exotic....puh-leez. What exactly is talking American? It's your sense of being special and unique, while being boring and totally plain that probably made it hard to find someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men marry for something to take of them (and everything).
Women marry for a life partner to do things 50/50.

Big disconnect so why bother.

Over-generalization reflects poorly on your intelligence.

yes it's a generalization and stereotype, but that is because is usually true in most cases.

Or, you're just pulling crap out of your rear end again. But by all means - don't bother.