“I get why she’s single” : T/F?

[Anonymous]

I'm a happily married mom with a demanding career in DC. I know tons of women in their 30s, 40s and 50s who are single, never married, and no kids. They don't seem to date much...or at all, really. They work crazy hours. They are fit (they all run) and attractive. They are not gay. They are smart, fun and caring. They do volunteer work, mentor kids, etc.

I know for a fact that two of my friends picked up an std in high school/college. Their dating lives sorta tapered off after that...and that was 20-25 years ago. I wonder if my colleagues are in the same boat?

I also think some of my friends/colleagues are a bit rigid/set in their ways at this point (40s/50s). Totally makes sense if you've been single and independent for decades.

[Anonymous]

*rolls eyes* God, I just want to be a millionaire. THAT'S why I'm single. All the women here who got married and popped out toddlers at 24 please kindly buzz-off. We've got goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Can we put to bed this myth that women are too committed to their work to have any free time for dating? This always feels like an excuse to me. Women stay busy with careers in their 20s and 30s if they haven’t found any one good. But if a great guy came along, they would absolutely be able to make time for him. It’s a convenient excuse to say they are too busy with work in the mean time.

I’m not sure if the same holds true for guys. I think a lot of guys are socially obtuse enough that they don’t actually realize they are missing out on dating in their 20s and 30s. They don’t crave the same social aspect of dating, and the male social networks of watching sports etc can take place regardless of their busy work schedules.

But a man at my level is considered focused, determined, and an alpha. It's so annoying.

We both have sex when we want. We both are unmarried. We both make high six-figures but because I've got tits and a waist, there must be something wrong with me?

Meanwhile my male friend is every woman's wet dream but there's nothing wrong with the way he lives his life according to you.

[Anonymous]

The women I know who are single in that bracket are smart, multiple degrees, excellent paying jobs and lots of fun. Their problem is they have horrible taste in men! I'm always curious about men and women who are surrounded by amazing people at work and/or in their social circle, yet the people they repeatedly choose to date are headscratchingly awful and they wonder why they are miserable or still single or get cheated on and lied to over and over again. We are not young and dumb anymore. Make better choices!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*rolls eyes* God, I just want to be a millionaire. THAT'S why I'm single. All the women here who got married and popped out toddlers at 24 please kindly buzz-off. We've got goals.

Damn. My friends (HLS with 2 kids with a ped father); tenured prof (at top 20 university with 1 kid and also married); single mom with MBA who’s partner got sick while she was pg - and I - all have good-girl education and accomplishments and kids born years after we were 24. Many years! No one even married until past 30.

It’s you, not them.

[Anonymous]

I tend to think that women who are single in this age group focused a lot on their careers, while I think the men who are single in this age group tend to have some underlying "issue" in committed relationships. Now that those women are able to focus on finding a partner, the pickings are slim. This is based on my own group of friends/acquaintances, so it's an imperfect sample and not scientific. It's one of the reasons I stayed married when I had every reason to leave my DH- I think dating men in that category would suck.

[Anonymous]

Now that those women are able to focus on finding a partner, the pickings are slim.

The pickings are slim if they choose to set statistically impossible standards.