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I have an ex-friend like that too. Gorgeous, fit, charming, turns heads everywhere she goes, educated, great career. But I couldn't cope with always having to go along with what she wanted, and with every single situation in her life always being someone's fault besides hers, and neither can the men she dates. She has no trouble attracting them but they never stay (and of course it's never her fault, they're always in the wrong). |
I have literally said exactly this. I had a baby with a guy I was not serious about. As for why I’m single,I have a ton of family trauma that has gotten in the way of being with a good person. I’m working on it though. |
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I’m a male in my 40s and I would assume she has issues. I would t date her. Being single from divorce or another reason I understand. Never married? There’s an issue and it’s one of the following
- you’re ugly (kind of a given) - you’re very difficult to get along with - you’ve put career first so much so you have no room for anything else - you’re too selfish to have a relationship. This is fine, some people are. But don’t expect the world to revolve around you now you’re ready to settle down men will just fall out of the sky and lust after you. - commitment issues - you’re secretly gay and haven’t admitted it yet. In which case just be yourself - if you’re gay and still haven’t found anyone it’s not society it’s you. You’re the only constant variable in this equation. |
| This is interesting. I've learned on this board that so many women ... and men ... marry without real love because they are ready to settle down. And that's fine. But I would think it makes more sense that some women and men who chose to stay single, rather than assuming there is a major flaw. |
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With the lack of high quality men in the area, I’d say I’m not surprised she has gone it alone for so long.
Men don’t really bring much to the table but sperm. |
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NP. Can we put to bed this myth that women are too committed to their work to have any free time for dating? This always feels like an excuse to me. Women stay busy with careers in their 20s and 30s if they haven’t found any one good. But if a great guy came along, they would absolutely be able to make time for him. It’s a convenient excuse to say they are too busy with work in the mean time.
I’m not sure if the same holds true for guys. I think a lot of guys are socially obtuse enough that they don’t actually realize they are missing out on dating in their 20s and 30s. They don’t crave the same social aspect of dating, and the male social networks of watching sports etc can take place regardless of their busy work schedules. |
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I assume that single people didn't meet that special someone. Nothing more than that. It can be bad luck, or pickiness, but that's not my place to judge. |
Fixed it for you. |
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huh?
What a loaded question. I would ASSUME that none of the men she met were good enough for her and she didn't want to settle for any Joe Schmo, especially because nowadays you don't need a man to have a baby. |
This. I assume she is smart. I know of only 2 men other than my husband that I would consider good partners/fathers/husbands. And I am not even considering attraction because neither of these guys are my type. The odds are just horrible for women. More men than women are immature, irresponsible, selfish, lacking in empathy etc. I'd rather be single than be with most of the men who are married to my friends and family members. When I married my husband 10 years ago, I did not realize just how bad things were out there. I get it now. For as long as I can remember, I knew that being a mother was the most important thing in my life so I started looking pretty early on, at an age which most ambitious women would consider too early(had my kids in professional school). I kissed many many frogs, dumped quite a few nice guys and found the perfect guy for me. But I know I mostly got lucky. |
You sound overflowing with empathy yourself. How about: the odds are horrible for women who act horrible. Or who have no apparent interest in sex of course. |
The odds are horrible for women in general, even the ones who act well. Keep blaming lack of sex as the reason why you choose to be an asshole to your spouse and a less than adequate parent to your children. I will keep calling BS. |
And ranting against men in general makes you, not all women, an asshole. |
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Sometimes T, sometimes F and just back luck or maybe lack of interest. I will say that in every relationship where a highly educated man and woman got married in their late 20s and early 30s and then divorced shortly thereafter, the woman was total crazy town all along and I knew it before they even got engaged. So I'd roll the dice on never married than married at 29 and divorced at 32. |