Why don't people reciprocate these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being older and wiser and was one of those who did not reciprocate it was 2 things:
1. Fear of judgement
2. Absolutely no time to do the things necessary to be the perfect hostess, my cooking did not always turn out, never had the right amount of serving pieces, would have had to take two days off to get ready, etc. We did not stock food or liquor, and it was a budget buster for us.

This was stupid looking back, but you wanted to know.

If you can't afford to host people, you should not accept their invitations to host you.

So DCUM finds yet another basic human need (companionship) that poor people should forgo.

This makes no logical sense. Poor people can get companionship without being treated to an expensive meal and evening at someone else's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm extremely introverted and social situations cause me stress. Your invitation gave me anxiety and I went to be polite. Everything was fine when I was there and you were a gracious host but I wasn't as relaxed as I appeared. I will not be hosting a dinner party, ever. DH and I rarely see each other as it is with work and he is also fairly introverted. Those social events feel like another work day.

I have kids over my house all of the time. My children are always welcome to have friends over and do every week. They are extroverted and they want others around. This doesn't bother me and I enjoy it, as long as I don't have to entertain adults. They can independently play and I am happy to feed them.

I imagine that you don't get many social invitations repeated. If I invited you but you and I weren't close enough to share your social anxiety, I would just assume you didn't like me that much and stop inviting you after the second or third non reciprocated invitation.

[Anonymous]

I don't invite people over because my husband suffers from depression which is typically well controlled but one or two days a month he's really down and can't do normal day to day things. I hated canceling plans on these days so now I just make family plans more on the fly or plans that I can do myself - not us hosting a big event.

It sucks but its the reason - while I totally understand the frustration of people not reciprocating, there *may* be nonselfish reasons like mental health issues, stress levels that make getting the house ready feel impossible, etc. If you enjoy their company and don't mind having to think of the plans try to keep inviting them