Kids vs. career: New top job with travel
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Anonymous
You are missing the issue - this is not about working v. staying home. |
Anonymous
This isn't a debate about working or not working, it's a debate about two different job opportunities and their effects on the family. In addition, that study looked only at success in the workplace, not other variables for life success, and is rather limited in applicability - it's based off a woman's ever having worked outside of the home, event if it was a month or less before the child turned 14. |
Anonymous
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I believe if you wanted kids and brought them into this world, then they are your responsibility, both financially, physically and emotionally.
If you think your kids needs/wants will be met with you taking this job, then do it. If not and there is a chance they will suffer or slip through the cracks then don't. one more thing to think about. Your marriage. Your husband may become resentful of you traveling so much and him having to pick up the slack. When will you have time/energy for a sexual relationship. How will you co-parent when both are away so much, will you trust his judgement or will he have to check with you for each decision. Can you let go of control of those decisions, both with the kids but also with the house, what groceries to buy, who to hire for home repairs, etc. Marriages slowly drift apart over time and when one spouse is traveling it is hard, when 2 are it takes a ton of effort from both parties for it to work. |
Anonymous
| I can tell you that one person traveling extensively is hard on a marriage. It's not him being GONE thats |
Anonymous
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Do you all chide your husbands when he is offered a big promotion with more travel and hard work?
Why should a super talented person (woman) sacrifice her full potential? It's not like she's moving away from her family. She'll still see her kids half of the week and all weekends- more than most divorced parents see their kids. Newsflash- you can be a good parents... and have a big job. |
Anonymous
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I'd try it for a year and see how it goes.
If you pass this one up, you may not get another opportunity. But it's easy to scale back if it doesn't work out. So why not try it? |
Anonymous
Though I get the sense a number of women posting on this thread do not woh. |
Anonymous
i work but I'm not leaning in. |
Anonymous
| You seem to have the perfect balance of family and career right now, OP. That's not easy to achieve. |
Anonymous
It's the frequent travel of both parents that makes this a dilemma, not the big promotion. |
Anonymous
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What kind of money are we talking about?
That amount of travel sounds like it would be difficult over the long haul. Since these jobs are high paying and likely stressfull, sounds like something will have to give. |
Anonymous
Really? I feel the opposite. About any meaningful responses anyway. A lot of women on this thread have been WOHM's a lot longer than the OP and are telling her this is a quick trip to burn out. |
Anonymous
There are many responses which are not meaningful. |
Anonymous
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I work outside the home, always have and finding that balance between family/work has not always been easy. It sounds like the OP has that now. To possibly throw that away takes a deep hard look at finances, priorities and what their family can handle.
I am a firm believer that there is no one size fits all and each family has to find its own normal. However, without committed buy in from her husband this will not work for any sustained length of time. Sad but true. No one thinks she should throw her career away, but both parents can't have high travel, high demanding, stressful jobs that take them away from the family. They just can't unless your kids are being raised by someone else. If she wants that job, then he needs to give his up for something with minimal travel where he can be the 'go to' person on the home front. If he is honestly willing and will do that, then great, she should go for it 100% If not, then she needs to evaluate her families true needs (including her own) and see if this new set up can meet those. I also worry about the old bait and switch where a job sounds too good to be true and likely is. More travel, longer hours, less pay, more oversight, etc. This job sounds too good to be true but i hope it is not and turns out to be wonderful. In my experience though, that rarely happens. |