Kids vs. career: New top job with travel

[Anonymous]

Ive been headunted for a great job - very senior. Major bump in salary etc. Catch is that there is a lot of travel. (3 days a week). My kids are 6 & 8. DH is in a similar senior high earning job and travels one week on, one week off. We do have a great nanny.

I was at home for 5 years since the kids were born and went back last year in a more junior role to get back into the workplace. This job would get me back on track with my career no doubt but Im worried about impact on personal life and kids.

WWYD?

My current jobs pays relatively well and is flexible with some travel so Im really happy with it.

[Anonymous]

Do it. I have a 6 y/o and did get same thing.

[Anonymous]

I like a quote that says: when in doubt, choose the kids. There will be plenty of time to choose work later.

Take my advice with a grain of salt - I've mommy tracked myself for a good schedule. I have no regrets but at times I feel a twinge of momentary jealousy when I see other people promoted but it passes.

If you want to do it - more power to ya! I'm sure you will do great. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My DH travels like that. We couldn't make it work with two traveling spouses. I know plenty of people who do, however!

[Anonymous]

So if I read you right, every other week the kids will be with the nanny for 3 days & nights while both you and DH are on the road? Is that tenable? (Answer: no, unless you have Grandma living with you, or some other arrangement you haven't mentioned).

Will DH quit or scale back if you take this?

[Anonymous]

What will you do if you both have to travel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if I read you right, every other week the kids will be with the nanny for 3 days & nights while both you and DH are on the road? Is that tenable? (Answer: no, unless you have Grandma living with you, or some other arrangement you haven't mentioned).

Will DH quit or scale back if you take this?

Well - some of the travel will be day trips and I have told the company that the weeks DH is travelling I can only do day trips and not overnight. Right now they are making all the right noises about working with me on this.

Yes DH has offered to scale back and work with me on this.

We might have the odd occasion when the nanny will have to stay over.

But its still a lot of travel. No family locally but have some good friends who I can call on in a pinch.

[Anonymous]

If you're doing day trips, won't you be gone from the crack of down through evening, anyway? In that case, is there really a difference between multiple weekly day trips and staying overnight?

[Anonymous]

Do it.

[Anonymous]

It's really up to you. You can only call on friends so much but you have to do what makes you happy. Our lives changed significantly when my oldest turned 9. School became more intense and so did his sports. He's only in one, not travel, but it became more time intensive. He needed me and DH there more emotionally and it was only the start. We both WOTH but that was the year I choose to scale back. I was happy with that decision personally and professionally. I still work FT but less hours and not all the extras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if I read you right, every other week the kids will be with the nanny for 3 days & nights while both you and DH are on the road? Is that tenable? (Answer: no, unless you have Grandma living with you, or some other arrangement you haven't mentioned).

Will DH quit or scale back if you take this?

Well - some of the travel will be day trips and I have told the company that the weeks DH is travelling I can only do day trips and not overnight. Right now they are making all the right noises about working with me on this.

Yes DH has offered to scale back and work with me on this.

We might have the odd occasion when the nanny will have to stay over.

But its still a lot of travel. No family locally but have some good friends who I can call on in a pinch.

When we were considering this we were going to go the au pair route, but legally they can't work more than X hours in a row, so that didn't solve our problem of when we would both be traveling.

[Anonymous]

I think it's doable if you can manage that both of you won't be gone at the same time.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's kids/life outside of work. But I never loved work that much. I am always happier engaging in hobbies or spending time with my kids. DH, on the other hand, is the opposite, and he is happier at work.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like both you and your husband are doing well financially now, and that you enjoy your current job a lot. I wouldn't rock the boat unless you are truly unhappy in your job or are financially strained. It's hard enough when one spouse is gone an entire week. Just wait till your kids are older and you need to get them to sports games, concert practice and other activities while your husband is gone. You will be exhausted from traveling during the day, where will you get the extra energy for all that evening running around?

[Anonymous]

Ironically, I think it's easier to work outside the home when kids are younger versus older. You might have a couple of years but as your oldest approaches middle school, demands from school and extras increase and your nanny may not appreciate it. I would say no. You can always "go for it". When your kiddos are closer to college age. FWIW, I work full time and DH and I have four kids from elem to high school.