Sexless marriage from a woman's perspective. Help me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he needs you to learn some new triicks. Ask him to PIIYB

Haha too funny - might be a little difficult if he doesn't get real hard. Not sure this is the answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ultimatum.

AP.

Move on.

I love him. I can't imagine life without him.

Affair. Do what you have to do to keep your sanity and stay with him.

DCUM always gives this advice. Then, when you start a new thread talking about your affair, DCUM will tell you what a skank you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was there ever a point where he was a twice a week or more guy? If he was a twice a month guy for a long time he may have simply been doing it for your sake. Have you considered that he may be gay or have gay tendencies? There are plenty of guys around DC who would be happy to help you out.

He was a twice a week guy the first few years of our marriage, then once a week, then twice a month. It has steadily decreased over the years. Why do you ask about gay tendencies? We have been married for a long time. How can that be even a thought?

It's absolutely a thought, especially if he was raised in a religious household.

How do you become gay after 21 years of marriage?

He didn't become gay. He was always gay. He just doesn't accept the fact that he is.

[Anonymous]

Give us an update. Did you talk to him about being gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here, married 21 years.
He has no interest in sex and it seems to me as though he doesn't even get hard.

It's been 8 months since we last had sex.
I want sex everyday. I have NEVER said no to him.

He used to be a twice a month guy. I've dealt with this opposite drive.
Now, he's a twice a year guy.

How do I live this way??? We're both only 45.

What are my steps to remedy this.

If I reference the thread for sexless marriage solved (for a man)
I've done steps 1-7. No success.

Seven pages of advice and no one has mentioned the obvious reason. He has ED issues and he is embarrassed by it. Encourage him to get pills. He could be gay but this is my guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is TRT...a medication? Which specialist should he see?

Testosterone replacement therapy.

NP here, I would start with his PCP, not a specialist. There are a lot of hacks out there who push testosterone and that isn't safe if done incorrectly. His primary care can draw blood work, let him do a whole panel of thyroid, anemia, testosterone. If there is a problem, he can go to an endocrin.

My guess is his numbers are normal and its psychological or his sexuality is off. But asking him to go to the doctor will at least spark the conversation and see his commitment to the marriage.

The problem is that primary care physicians are dismissive of TRT and don't want to prescribe it. It is possible to have T levels in the "normal" range and still suffer the symptoms of "low T". Yet the primary will say something like "eh you're over 40, get used to it". There is no reason to accept T levels in the low normal range when you can get TRT and feel 1000% better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

lOL this made me laugh really hard lol

So for the most often LL spouses being women, why is it that when men start a thread on being in a sexless marriage , that women don't offer the insight that she's probably a lesbian and always has been LOL. The women on this forum are just NUTS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

lOL this made me laugh really hard lol

So for the most often LL spouses being women, why is it that when men start a thread on being in a sexless marriage , that women don't offer the insight that she's probably a lesbian and always has been LOL. The women on this forum are just NUTS

Sorry you don't understand that there are differences between men and women and their sexuality and biology and brains. Women are just NUTS not to be identical to men. LOL

[Anonymous]

my t was low, I still wanted sex all the time, but was overly tired and cranky

[Anonymous]

You really need to convince him to start with his primary care physician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ultimatum.

AP.

Move on.

I love him. I can't imagine life without him.

Sounds like it should be choice #2. Can you explain this to him?