Sexless marriage from a woman's perspective. Help me.

[Anonymous]

http://www.npr.org/2015/09/16/440909117/a-place-for-straight-spouses-after-their-mate-comes-out-of-the-closet

http://www.straightspouse.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

When we used to have sex, he didn't have any trouble getting hard. If he were gay, wouldn't he have had trouble getting hard all along?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was there ever a point where he was a twice a week or more guy? If he was a twice a month guy for a long time he may have simply been doing it for your sake. Have you considered that he may be gay or have gay tendencies? There are plenty of guys around DC who would be happy to help you out.

He was a twice a week guy the first few years of our marriage, then once a week, then twice a month. It has steadily decreased over the years. Why do you ask about gay tendencies? We have been married for a long time. How can that be even a thought?

It's absolutely a thought, especially if he was raised in a religious household.

How do you become gay after 21 years of marriage?

Not to be an alarmist, but there is a long list of marriages that end where one spouse's next relationship is same sex. You don't become gay after 21 years, you just repress it. You sound like a very thoughtful and reasonable person who may want to consider some professional advice for how to deal with your problem. People on this site are not experts. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

When we used to have sex, he didn't have any trouble getting hard. If he were gay, wouldn't he have had trouble getting hard all along?

No. Lots of gay men have slept with women and fathered children. Some guys can get hard for anything, even their non-preferred gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.npr.org/2015/09/16/440909117/a-place-for-straight-spouses-after-their-mate-comes-out-of-the-closet

http://www.straightspouse.org/

I am so taken back right now. I don't know what to think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

When we used to have sex, he didn't have any trouble getting hard. If he were gay, wouldn't he have had trouble getting hard all along?

No because he was still trying to prove to himself that he wasn't gay. He was repressing his feelings. He has acknowledged his feelings now, just not acting on them

[Anonymous]

OP, I, for one, don't think your husband is gay, I think he might be having health issues. Erectile dysfunction is not unheard of in men over 40, so if I were you, I'd ask your husband to talk to his doctor.

[Anonymous]

BS there are plenty of LD men out there. Why must he be gay? Ridiculous. You're either frigid bitch or gay?
No, some people just don't like sex. I'm not one of them.

[Anonymous]

OP: He HAS to be gay.

[Anonymous]

If they are both fit and active and in their 40s and he doesn't want sex then he is absolutely gay. Have a talk with him. Maybe you can find a way for both of you to be happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you any fun in bed or do you just lay back and expect to be serviced?

That wouldn't make much difference to a normal man. OP sounds like she's in good shape, us normal guys would jump on her and fuck her senseless, she wouldn't have to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are both fit and active and in their 40s and he doesn't want sex then he is absolutely gay. Have a talk with him. Maybe you can find a way for both of you to be happy

Wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are both fit and active and in their 40s and he doesn't want sex then he is absolutely gay. Have a talk with him. Maybe you can find a way for both of you to be happy

Wrong

Nope. He/she is 100% correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like the pp my guess is he is a gay man but doesn't want to be gay. He won't give in to his gay impulses but he also isn't attracted to you because of them. He faked it for a long time but now he is just happy not having any sex

When we used to have sex, he didn't have any trouble getting hard. If he were gay, wouldn't he have had trouble getting hard all along?

No, because when he was having sex with you he was imagining you were Lenny Dykstra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you any fun in bed or do you just lay back and expect to be serviced?

That wouldn't make much difference to a normal man. OP sounds like she's in good shape, us normal guys would jump on her and fuck her senseless, she wouldn't have to do anything.

They would in the beginning but not for 20 years.