Please take a moment and look at all of the DH sucks-related threads right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

But why are we doing all of this stuff??

I know my husband won't do holiday cards. So guess what? I'm not doing them. I'm not planning any meals either. If your husband doesn't do these things he probably doesn't care. So what's the point? Spend the time and energy on yourself and you'll be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
DH and I are expecting our first and I'm very worried about my tendency to try to control everything. He's a very competent and loving person so I know I'm going to need to put in a ton of work to let him parent and not try to take over everything. I'm hoping the fact that DH will be taking 6 weeks of leave once I go back to work will help the both of us. He'll be more confident and I'll have proof every day that yes, my kind, loving, smart DH is in fact capable of keeping our child alive and I should back off. Fingers crossed!

With our first two kids my wife wouldn't let me do anything and I mean anything for them until she got her fill. As a result I never really bonded with them.... even after 8 years I just don't like them very much. I'm not sure that would have changed things but for our third child I basically just took over, I do as much as I can for her (diapers, feeding, lettering her fall asleep in my arms) and I can already tell I'm bonding much better.

I'm not saying that he will would be the same way as I am but it's something to be aware of.

and get as much sleep as you can whenever you can you will need it.

You don't like your own children are you're blaming your wife? You have serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

But why are we doing all of this stuff??

I know my husband won't do holiday cards. So guess what? I'm not doing them. I'm not planning any meals either. If your husband doesn't do these things he probably doesn't care. So what's the point? Spend the time and energy on yourself and you'll be happier.

We tend to do a lot for the kids. Decorate. Have family over for the holidays. Guess we could just order pizza next time. Who needs a turkey? We get everyone in immediate family (and some extended) a gift for xmas. We do limit it to 1/person. Guess we could just do gift cards, but that seems lame. We haven't done holiday cards in years. I don't know why MIL is a high-maintenance B though. That's not our choice. DH already has dealing with her on his list. I only put up with that nonsense so the kids will know that grandmother.

Most of it is for the kids to answer your question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

Rah rah rah!! I agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

But why are we doing all of this stuff??

I know my husband won't do holiday cards. So guess what? I'm not doing them. I'm not planning any meals either. If your husband doesn't do these things he probably doesn't care. So what's the point? Spend the time and energy on yourself and you'll be happier.

We tend to do a lot for the kids. Decorate. Have family over for the holidays. Guess we could just order pizza next time. Who needs a turkey? We get everyone in immediate family (and some extended) a gift for xmas. We do limit it to 1/person. Guess we could just do gift cards, but that seems lame. We haven't done holiday cards in years. I don't know why MIL is a high-maintenance B though. That's not our choice. DH already has dealing with her on his list. I only put up with that nonsense so the kids will know that grandmother.

Most of it is for the kids to answer your question.

I must be a bad mom. I just don't do these things. I approach the holidays like a man would.

[Anonymous]

Guys - marry Asian women! God's gift to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM threads are dominated by unhappy women who need a good screw! I don't care if they get it from their husbands but it is what they need. Their solution to every problem is to seek counseling. That is not what they need.

Yes, "a good screw" would fix everything. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

Dude, you are the problem. NOT the solution.

I've never met a man that would describe a woman as needing "a good screw" that was actually capable of providing anyone with said "good screw".

PP here - actually it was my DW who, when describing an uptight acquaintance said "what she needs is a good screw!" I almost died laughing because she never talks that way. And, I'm quite confident in saying that my wife would say I provide a a good screw. Maybe not great, but good enough! Hopefully you're happy too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You don't like your own children are you're blaming your wife? You have serious issues.

I didn't want any children. She had an "accident" with her birth control pills. I found the fertility books while I was cleaning along with all her notes later.

Yep I have issues, no denying that, I don't blame the kids its in no way shape or form their fault, but yea I do sort of hold her responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP, If you are going to have to raise your children by yourself with your DH sitting in the same house and not helping then what is the point of him? If your life is to be a single parent then be a single parent.

I'm a single parent and it is sooooo much easier to do it yourself. I don't know how women put up with their last, clueless husbands who do nothing. I guess the only reason I would keep a guy like that around is the paycheck. Maintaining 2 households isn't cheap.

[Anonymous]

Love my husband & think he is amazing. We both work super hard & are there for one another. Perhaps asking for help in a nicer tone & with a better choice of words would move moutains. Also, I find that the more that I show sincere appreciation my dh is always happy to help!

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who posted about women making choices in fear of other people's judgment. The holiday stuff is a perfect example of this nonsense. Yes, we want our kids to have a special Christmas. So, buy them toys and treats and throw some tinsel around. You don't really need to do anything else unless you want to. Bake if that's your thing, make your house a showcase if it's fun for you. But what is the everloving point of it all if you're running yourself ragged and seething at your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who posted about women making choices in fear of other people's judgment. The holiday stuff is a perfect example of this nonsense. Yes, we want our kids to have a special Christmas. So, buy them toys and treats and throw some tinsel around. You don't really need to do anything else unless you want to. Bake if that's your thing, make your house a showcase if it's fun for you. But what is the everloving point of it all if you're running yourself ragged and seething at your husband?

This. Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who posted about women making choices in fear of other people's judgment. The holiday stuff is a perfect example of this nonsense. Yes, we want our kids to have a special Christmas. So, buy them toys and treats and throw some tinsel around. You don't really need to do anything else unless you want to. Bake if that's your thing, make your house a showcase if it's fun for you. But what is the everloving point of it all if you're running yourself ragged and seething at your husband?

Buy it online and pay to have it wrapped. Go out together to get a tree and decorate. Go out to eat on Christmas Eve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have learned to do a double shift and balance everything (kids, house, work) themselves. Men haven't picked up the slack from having a working wife and women are getting sick of it.

+1

[Anonymous]

The only reason why men and women are running around like crazy and are stretched thin is because they choose to.

If most refused to accept jobs that had hours at consistently more than 50 hours a week, we will not have this problem.

DH and I are not career driven. We are job driven, and we live life accordingly. Our marriage is great. There is enough time to cook(me), do the dishes and the laundry(him),lay around with the kids daily and the weekends are lazy, slow paced, fun, and glorious.