If you suspect that your spouse is on the cusp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she has lunch with this guy alone (not with a group of coworkers) that is a bad sign and inappropriate.

This.

I'm not sure about this one. I have a male coworker who I go out to lunch with alone now and then. We also have had drinks solo. But there is absolutely nothing going on between us. We are both married with kids, and I adore his wife. We just happen to work on the same things and get together to strategize and vent.

Perhaps, but read the entire OP post. There is much more going on than lunch, which the 2 go out for several times a week together. Also perhaps you are motivated to post about your own situation because you should give your own situation a rethink.

[Anonymous]

We just happen to work on the same things and get together to strategize and vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We just happen to work on the same things and get together to strategize and vent.

"Vent". Love it.

[Anonymous]

OP - did all go well with your wife? Wondering if perhaps there was something more than the cusp?

[Anonymous]

I was a single guy who worked with a divorced woman my own age a few years ago. We went to lunch almost every day, and talked about a lot of non-work topics, but sex wasn't one of them. On my side there was absolutely no physical attraction. At one point she said, "You know everyone things we're sleeping together, don't you?" I was surprised since it was not on my mind at all, but I can see why others would think so. Just because there's smoke doesn't always mean there's fire.

[Anonymous]

Hope we hear from OP as to what is happening. My husband started working with a younger woman and began talking about her constantly at night. I wish I had done something right away. We live an hour from his job and it was too difficult to come down for lunch.
He should have had me come down to meet her. Instead they had lunches. At one point he stayed overnight at her house when the weather was bad ! Her husband was there but they later divorced.
He emailed her constantly all weekend and traveled with her on a trip without telling me.
Now it is 4 years later and he is out of the fog. It was sort of a midlife crisis. She was not really interested in him, but he pursued her that was very similar to when we first met.
All I can say is, forbid lunches and confront quickly. I wish I had been more aggressive on confronting. DH later admitted to me he had been totally infatuated with this person and was sorry he hurt me. But things can never be the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I was a single guy who worked with a divorced woman my own age a few years ago. We went to lunch almost every day, and talked about a lot of non-work topics, but sex wasn't one of them. On my side there was absolutely no physical attraction. At one point she said, "You know everyone things we're sleeping together, don't you?" I was surprised since it was not on my mind at all, but I can see why others would think so. Just because there's smoke doesn't always mean there's fire.

So, either you're gay or she was fat or repulsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We just happen to work on the same things and get together to strategize and vent.

"Vent". Love it.

I'm the one you guys are quoting. Don't know what to tell you, but it is just friendship. Absolutely zero chemistry but we are very compatible as friends and coworkers. I'm just not remotely romantically attracted to him. I don't believe the world is like When Harry Met Sally.

I admit, however, that this might not be the norm. My husband had an affair with a coworker and I really thought they were just friends because I was just friends with my male coworker. So I think it can go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We just happen to work on the same things and get together to strategize and vent.

"Vent". Love it.

I'm the one you guys are quoting. Don't know what to tell you, but it is just friendship. Absolutely zero chemistry but we are very compatible as friends and coworkers. I'm just not remotely romantically attracted to him. I don't believe the world is like When Harry Met Sally.

I admit, however, that this might not be the norm. My husband had an affair with a coworker and I really thought they were just friends because I was just friends with my male coworker. So I think it can go both ways.

That's nice that you are platonic with him, but we don't know how he is about you. And you even admit this happened with your own husband and yet come on here and insist your own case is different so nobody should think anything of one on one lunches, even though you yourself have been wrong before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was a single guy who worked with a divorced woman my own age a few years ago. We went to lunch almost every day, and talked about a lot of non-work topics, but sex wasn't one of them. On my side there was absolutely no physical attraction. At one point she said, "You know everyone things we're sleeping together, don't you?" I was surprised since it was not on my mind at all, but I can see why others would think so. Just because there's smoke doesn't always mean there's fire.

So, either you're gay or she was fat or repulsive.

Pretty much. And when everybody thinks something about you at the office, most often everybody is barking up the right tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was a single guy who worked with a divorced woman my own age a few years ago. We went to lunch almost every day, and talked about a lot of non-work topics, but sex wasn't one of them. On my side there was absolutely no physical attraction. At one point she said, "You know everyone things we're sleeping together, don't you?" I was surprised since it was not on my mind at all, but I can see why others would think so. Just because there's smoke doesn't always mean there's fire.

So, either you're gay or she was fat or repulsive.

Pretty much. And when everybody thinks something about you at the office, most often everybody is barking up the right tree.

PP here...Yes, she was fat/repulsive to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was a single guy who worked with a divorced woman my own age a few years ago. We went to lunch almost every day, and talked about a lot of non-work topics, but sex wasn't one of them. On my side there was absolutely no physical attraction. At one point she said, "You know everyone things we're sleeping together, don't you?" I was surprised since it was not on my mind at all, but I can see why others would think so. Just because there's smoke doesn't always mean there's fire.

So, either you're gay or she was fat or repulsive.

Pretty much. And when everybody thinks something about you at the office, most often everybody is barking up the right tree.

Except they were wrong here.

[Anonymous]

OP...what's happening?

[Anonymous]

Hate to say it but it does seem like OP found out that it's wasn't actually the cusp of an EA but veered into full-on physical.

That or the date turned into a week-long sex marathon...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it but it does seem like OP found out that it's wasn't actually the cusp of an EA but veered into full-on physical.

That or the date turned into a week-long sex marathon...

Yep...except to see a thread in that soon. It was obvious as her actions betrayed her intentions. If he has balls he'll drop her like used toilet paper and move on.