How much would you spend on your spouse's milestone (50th) birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH rented a 58' yacht and an America's Cup Captain to sail us and some friends around the Caribbean for two weeks. Hopping from island to island.

Even flew in a Michelin rated Chef to cook us sumptuous meals each day.

It was lovely!

So your answer to the OP’s question is… 250k? Ok cool

[Anonymous]

If my wife doesn’t spend at least half a rock (500k) on my 50th I’m gonna be annoyed.

Living for 50 years >> getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

Gentle suggestion: price out how much a FT nanny costs, then add what a cook and housekeeper cost. I'll give you a hint: it's more than you earn and certainly isn't something you could afford. If you paid your wife for her services, then you would realize this.

You realize he’d only owe 50% of these costs, right?

[Anonymous]

I feel you. A few weeks ago was my 50th birthday. To me, that one is a little special and should be celebrated. The day of my wife bought me a pair of shoes and a card. I appreciated it. However, it's a 50th birthday. She said she wanted to set up a party for friends and family but didn't make any effort to do so. So I ended up making reservations for my mother and father and our children to at least have a celebration dinner together. This way she didn't look bad for doing nothing at all as I know my family was expecting something since it was a 50th birthday. I paid for it all myself. Our meals, appetizers for everyone there. She didn't have a cake, she didn't pay for anything. But the following weekend spent $500 contributing to a birthday party for her friend. She goes out of town for 2 days, rents a cabin, buys a cake, buys gifts as well. And if she had shown me half of that courtesy I would be fine. But she didn't give a crap about me. Didn't order a cake, didn't make reservations at a nice restaurant, didn't pay for a decent dinner but instead spent $500 on her friends birthday (unimportant birthday, not a millestone birthday) and just says a big screw you to her husband of 30 years. I don't mean to be a wimp, and whine about stupid things but this one really hit home and made me think that she doesn't give a crap about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you. A few weeks ago was my 50th birthday. To me, that one is a little special and should be celebrated. The day of my wife bought me a pair of shoes and a card. I appreciated it. However, it's a 50th birthday. She said she wanted to set up a party for friends and family but didn't make any effort to do so. So I ended up making reservations for my mother and father and our children to at least have a celebration dinner together. This way she didn't look bad for doing nothing at all as I know my family was expecting something since it was a 50th birthday. I paid for it all myself. Our meals, appetizers for everyone there. She didn't have a cake, she didn't pay for anything. But the following weekend spent $500 contributing to a birthday party for her friend. She goes out of town for 2 days, rents a cabin, buys a cake, buys gifts as well. And if she had shown me half of that courtesy I would be fine. But she didn't give a crap about me. Didn't order a cake, didn't make reservations at a nice restaurant, didn't pay for a decent dinner but instead spent $500 on her friends birthday (unimportant birthday, not a millestone birthday) and just says a big screw you to her husband of 30 years. I don't mean to be a wimp, and whine about stupid things but this one really hit home and made me think that she doesn't give a crap about me.

Have you talked to her about this?

[Anonymous]

I’m planning to support my spouse in maxing out his catch up contributions to his retirement accounts when he turns 50. That will require tightening our household expenses but it’s the best ‘gift’.

[Anonymous]

If you're the sole earner in a secure job and you have a fully funded retirement fund, rainy day fund, and lots left over every month after buying everything else you want, then sure, your non-earning spouse can spend whatever they want from that slush fund without clearing it first. But if you're worried about how you'll pay for your kid's college tuition in 3 years and your HVAC needs to be replaced, you'd probably be upset if they spent $5K on a surprise birthday gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

I don’t see your marriage lasting long with the way you keep score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

I don’t see your marriage lasting long with the way you keep score.

Since he posted that in 2016 it would be interesting to know if he's still married!

[Anonymous]

10k but I would want a romantic vacation we’d both never forget.

$500 for sports tickets is the most I’d spend on that.

[Anonymous]

We did a trip that was similar to your range. I have the budget somewhere but think it was around $2000-2500? We also did do a sports game in another city for a birthday before kids and that was probably similar or a bit less inflation-adjusted, but the tickets themselves were quite expensive and a splurge. Those trips were at about 15 years apart, though, so we don't do that kind of thing often by any means.