How much would you spend on your spouse's milestone (50th) birthday?

[Anonymous]

My husband's 50th is approaching soon. He is anti-social, and has always made clear he wants nothing to do with a party. I'm the opposite, but I'm restraining myself. He did say last year all he wants is an amazing seat to see a team he loves. So I'm scoping tickets whose prices range from offensive to insane.

Obviously I realize that DCUMs can't tell me what I personally can afford to spend, but I'm just trying to get a sense of what other people spend around these kinds of milestones. I've never bought a truly expensive gift, and we live significantly below our means, so I just don't know what normal people might consider reasonable for this kind of thing. If you've had a spouse hit a big birthday and done something special, can you share what you spent (generally speaking)? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I hate being the center of attention, so I told my DH I didn't want a party for my 40th. Instead, we took our family on a Disney cruise. Probably spent $8k+.

How much are the tickets, op?

If that's what he wants, then why not? I'm sure he knows how much it costs and he wouldn't have suggested it if he thought it was too costly.

[Anonymous]

I'd say $1,000 is reasonable for a big milestone birthday.

[Anonymous]

It could easily cost a thousand to have an amazing milestone party. I've never done it, but I am extrapolating on how expensive even a kids party can be. Get the best tickets available for the game, which I assume would cost that much. Or take him to New York for the weekend to see something like the color purple, which is supposed to be great. Again, best seats and great hotel.

[Anonymous]

You need to figure this out for yourself. We don't know your financial situation.

[Anonymous]

A 50th birthday party at a restaurant or venue with a bar tab will be well over $1k. I host business dinners for 10 people that easily cost more than $1k, and nobody is drinking heavily (since it's a business meal, not a party).

Again: if your husband has told you what he wants...and he was very specific...then *that* is precisely what he wants. I'm sure he knows how much it costs, so I wouldn't worry about cost.

And FFS, do not drag your sports-loving husband to a Broadway show for his 50th birthday. Not cool.

[Anonymous]

DHs 50th is next year. His bday is in Dec. He loves football. I'm getting tickets to the Super Bowl. I'm planning on spending $5-$7k between airfare, hotel, and tickets. I'm also assuming there are parties or experiences you can buy tickets for during the weekend.

[Anonymous]

^^ I just checked prices for tickets for this years super bowl. Starting at $3200 each on Stub Hub. Guess I need to up the budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's 50th is approaching soon. He is anti-social, and has always made clear he wants nothing to do with a party. I'm the opposite, but I'm restraining myself. He did say last year all he wants is an amazing seat to see a team he loves. So I'm scoping tickets whose prices range from offensive to insane.

Obviously I realize that DCUMs can't tell me what I personally can afford to spend, but I'm just trying to get a sense of what other people spend around these kinds of milestones. I've never bought a truly expensive gift, and we live significantly below our means, so I just don't know what normal people might consider reasonable for this kind of thing. If you've had a spouse hit a big birthday and done something special, can you share what you spent (generally speaking)? Thanks!

Let's start with this: Who are the teams he loves?

But seriously, OP, you're the only one who knows what you can spend. E.g., let's say his favorite team is the Chicago Cubs. Some wives would now be searching for World Series tickets at the end of October in Chicago, plus plane tickets and hotel, a trip which would likely cost over $2k for 2 people (plus lining up someone to take care of the kds). Other wives would buy nosebleed seats at Nats Park for the next time the Cubs come to town (summer 2017), which with beer, hot dogs, and parking might cost $100. No one here can make this decision for you. You either have World Series money or you don't.

[Anonymous]

^^sorry, meant to type "over $3k", but PP's post about Super Bowl tickets makes me think that might be too low.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

This post is exactly why I have always feared leaving the work force as a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

I'm the poster above.... in my case the one special gift was her arranging for a birthday cake while I was one a business trip. She was surprised by the cake which I shared with the people I was traveling with. It was a surprise and a nice thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

Yuck. I don't think your point of view is as universal as you think. Many people would appreciate an expensive gift out of the household earnings, precisely because they wouldn't just buy themselves so expensive on their own.
And of course thoughtful gifts are better than ones with no thought, but that's the case regardless of the price tag or source of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

This post is exactly why I have always feared leaving the work force as a woman.

Then you missed the point entirely. I view my working while she stays home (by her choice) as a gift to her which allows her the freedom to spend her time the way she wants. All my post above means is that all I want from her is just to show me some consideration and be nice to me. I don't need her spending money on gifts.