How much would you spend on your spouse's milestone (50th) birthday?

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it and typically live below your means (kudos, by the way), I'd go for it. He told you what he wants and it's his fiftieth!

[Anonymous]

We spent about $3k on a joint 40th birthday dinner party at a friend's restaurant. We turned 40 within weeks of each other. For 50, I'd imagine another party with the same budget, but in our larger home, & with a DJ!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW is soon to turn 65. I'm working on the budget right now for a dinner party for at least 30 people. My guess is that it will be about $4500 given the venues she's interested in. I hope I can use my credit card so I get miles! Yes, it's a lot of money but she's worth it.

Why is turning 65 worth throwing a pricey $4500 party for? Do you do this every 5 years? Are you newly married? Or just rich? Does she demand it? Sincerely curious.

My mom died at 63. Hell yes, turning 65 is worth throwing a party for. My husband spent about that much on my 40th. Why not spend it every 10 years if you can afford it and the birthday honoree enjoys parties?

[Anonymous]

You asked your introverted husband what he wants and he told you. This means he believes you can afford it and its sounds like you can.

At this point if you didn't get it for him you'd be insensitive.

Get the tix. Don't worry about what other people do.

Im married to an introvert who refused to give me a clue about his 50th birthday other than that he didn't want a party and then sulked when I got him a couple of small gifts and a card. There was no winning. I still don't know what he would have wanted because he wouldn't say beforehand or after.

You've got your answer. Be glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

You sound like an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

You sound like an asshole.

wow complete ass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

You sound like an asshole.

wow complete ass

I agree with this guy, which is why my DH and I both work full time.

[Anonymous]

Your wife needs to get herself a job and kick your arse to the kerb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You asked your introverted husband what he wants and he told you. This means he believes you can afford it and its sounds like you can.

At this point if you didn't get it for him you'd be insensitive.

Get the tix. Don't worry about what other people do.

Im married to an introvert who refused to give me a clue about his 50th birthday other than that he didn't want a party and then sulked when I got him a couple of small gifts and a card. There was no winning. I still don't know what he would have wanted because he wouldn't say beforehand or after.

You've got your answer. Be glad.

This! He told you what he wants, so do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

This post is exactly why I have always feared leaving the work force as a woman.

Not all men have this attitude. DW doesn’t work, can spend as much as she wants in whatever she wants. I don’t look at the bank statements and don’t really care what she spends money on. I trust her. I buy her expensive gifts, I can’t imagine saying you need to get my approval before buying an expensive gift.

[Anonymous]

Looks like OP has found her answer.

But I am curious if most women are OK with paying 50-50 for household and child-related expenses if both spouses work full-time, make the same amount of money and split all chores and childcare more or less equally?

My wife expects me to pay more than her (60-70%), became unhappy, shows me no affection and has gradually reduced frequency of sex which is now near-zero.

[Anonymous]

I spent near $3k for a chartered surprise sail birthday party. Cake, charter, catered food, drinks. For maybe 20 people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like OP has found her answer.

But I am curious if most women are OK with paying 50-50 for household and child-related expenses if both spouses work full-time, make the same amount of money and split all chores and childcare more or less equally?

My wife expects me to pay more than her (60-70%), became unhappy, shows me no affection and has gradually reduced frequency of sex which is now near-zero.

I worked full time and paid 50/50. House chores being split “More or less equally” - I usually did more and he did less. And honestly, he usually saved more than I did; I spent more and he spent less.

[Anonymous]

5k

[Anonymous]

We spent very little on our 50th birthdays actually.

If we were going to celebrate we would get a hotel room in the city or overlooking the ocean, go out to nice restaurants and maybe hit a bar or two.