what's the easiest way to adopt a healthy older child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HOLY FUCK. There's a girl there being rehomed who has been with her current family for a decade.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!

I can't believe this is legal.

What do you mean you can't believe this is legal?

It's a private adoption and it's available to any parent in the US. A parent/parents can choose to place their child at any time via private adoption and there is no age limit. This can be their own biological child or a child they adopted.

In my family, we are dealing with a father who has primary custody. Divorce agreement stipulated that mother can see children, but is not financially responsible for them in any way. Mother is broke, and this state is not kind to former SAHMs in divorce, no matter what MRAs tell you. She got nothing after over a decade of marriage.

Anyway, father kicks out Child, Child moves in with relative, Father doesn't pay a dime for the care of Child. Legal counsel tells Relative, in effect, that parents have no obligation to their children. They can't be punished or fined for not paying a cent or housing them, absent a court ordered divorce agreement. Rarely, vanishingly rarely are parents even charged criminally for severe torture and abuse.

This is not true. The relative if the child is under 18 can file for legal guardianship and/or child support.

Not what they were told in their State. Child was not being abused. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HOLY FUCK. There's a girl there being rehomed who has been with her current family for a decade.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!

I can't believe this is legal.

What do you mean you can't believe this is legal?

It's a private adoption and it's available to any parent in the US. A parent/parents can choose to place their child at any time via private adoption and there is no age limit. This can be their own biological child or a child they adopted.

In my family, we are dealing with a father who has primary custody. Divorce agreement stipulated that mother can see children, but is not financially responsible for them in any way. Mother is broke, and this state is not kind to former SAHMs in divorce, no matter what MRAs tell you. She got nothing after over a decade of marriage.

Anyway, father kicks out Child, Child moves in with relative, Father doesn't pay a dime for the care of Child. Legal counsel tells Relative, in effect, that parents have no obligation to their children. They can't be punished or fined for not paying a cent or housing them, absent a court ordered divorce agreement. Rarely, vanishingly rarely are parents even charged criminally for severe torture and abuse.

This is not true. The relative if the child is under 18 can file for legal guardianship and/or child support.

Not what they were told in their State. Child was not being abused. No one cares.

Child welfare would not get involved but you go directly to the court and file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI: in Maryland, parents of children with severe mental illness or disabilities that need care that the parents can't provide can enter into a Voluntary Placement Agreement with Child Welfare. There is NO finding of abuse or neglect. The agreement must be approved by a judge every 6 months and parents pay child support. CWS places the child residentially in an appropriate placement: RTC, therapeutic group home, etc. The parents do not lose guardianship of the child.
A much better alternative hopefully than "re-homing".

So if your insurance does not cover the care you have to sign the child over to the state?

[Anonymous]

What other choice would you have? Any type of private therapeutic school or group home is going to cost $6K to $10K per month. People really don't have an understanding of what it is like to live with a violent teen who is seriously disturbed---or---even more importantly, the effect of that environment on the other children in the household.

When our DC was 13 and had become physically unmanageable and violent with tantrums, the tipping point for me was watching DC's younger sib---with a frightened face---try to placate and joke older sib out of the rage. I decided then and there that older sib was going to therapeutic respite---even if I wound up hated forever---because I owed it to younger sib to provide a non-violent home environment.

We were a lucky family---through a combination of medication and therapy---which we were able to afford---older sib returned home after 7 months and has thankfully not been violent since. But that is not the case with some children and impairments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What other choice would you have? Any type of private therapeutic school or group home is going to cost $6K to $10K per month. People really don't have an understanding of what it is like to live with a violent teen who is seriously disturbed---or---even more importantly, the effect of that environment on the other children in the household.

When our DC was 13 and had become physically unmanageable and violent with tantrums, the tipping point for me was watching DC's younger sib---with a frightened face---try to placate and joke older sib out of the rage. I decided then and there that older sib was going to therapeutic respite---even if I wound up hated forever---because I owed it to younger sib to provide a non-violent home environment.

We were a lucky family---through a combination of medication and therapy---which we were able to afford---older sib returned home after 7 months and has thankfully not been violent since. But that is not the case with some children and impairments.

The point is you were willing to stick it out and get your child help. Many of these families are not getting these kids help and just getting rid of them instead.

[Anonymous]

I'm 17:23, and while yes-- we were able to get our child help-- we also had a significant amount of resources-- we were financially well-off, educated enough to research and evaluate different therapies and treatments, and fortunate enough to live in the D.C. area where those treatment options were available. There is no way I am going to pass judgement on adoptive families in crisis who have not had the advantages we had-- especially if there are other vulnerable children in the household whom they are trying to protect.