How do I make it up to my wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little back story, my wife has a few annoying habits that I tend to tease her about. One of them is she doesn't use condiments on her food. Yesterday we went to a bbq at my uncle's house and usually she'll avoid eating certain food like hamburgers or hot dogs in front of them because she doesn't want my family to talk about how she eats. Yesterday she had an Italian sausage (just the sausage alone) and I asked her if she wanted a bun and she said no. Then one of my cousins asked her if she wanted mustard or relish and she said no thanks so she said you're just going to eat it plain, that's weird. I told her she eats all of her food like that, then I joked saying she doesn't eat like a human (something I always tell her) and she was really quiet the rest of the time we were there. She's usually quiet so I didn't think anything of it. On the car ride home, she started crying and said I embarrassed her in front of my family and she said this is why she doesn't like going to their events or eating around them. I apologized and told her we always joke like that, but she said she didn't take it as a joke. She hasn't spoken to me since. How can make this up to her?

The bolded is 100% absurd and indicative of someone with full-blown issues.

You want to make it up to her? Apologize for teasing and give her a gift cert for free therapy sessions.

I don't know about that. OP, does your family make a habit of talking about how people eat?

I stand by 100% absurd. What sane adult would care so much about another's opinions that he/she would refuse to eat hamburgers in front of them?

She might as well stand on her chair and scream "I'VE GOT ISSUES!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little back story, my wife has a few annoying habits that I tend to tease her about. One of them is she doesn't use condiments on her food. Yesterday we went to a bbq at my uncle's house and usually she'll avoid eating certain food like hamburgers or hot dogs in front of them because she doesn't want my family to talk about how she eats. Yesterday she had an Italian sausage (just the sausage alone) and I asked her if she wanted a bun and she said no. Then one of my cousins asked her if she wanted mustard or relish and she said no thanks so she said you're just going to eat it plain, that's weird. I told her she eats all of her food like that, then I joked saying she doesn't eat like a human (something I always tell her) and she was really quiet the rest of the time we were there. She's usually quiet so I didn't think anything of it. On the car ride home, she started crying and said I embarrassed her in front of my family and she said this is why she doesn't like going to their events or eating around them. I apologized and told her we always joke like that, but she said she didn't take it as a joke. She hasn't spoken to me since. How can make this up to her?

The bolded is 100% absurd and indicative of someone with full-blown issues.

You want to make it up to her? Apologize for teasing and give her a gift cert for free therapy sessions.

I don't know about that. OP, does your family make a habit of talking about how people eat?

I stand by 100% absurd. What sane adult would care so much about another's opinions that he/she would refuse to eat hamburgers in front of them?

She might as well stand on her chair and scream "I'VE GOT ISSUES!"

If my in-laws routinely commented on what I ate and my husband joined in, I would not find it absurd. I would find it offensive, and I would be pretty upset that my husband thought that it was funny. I think the husband is the one with issues.

[Anonymous]

So what if she has issues or not. Her DH, who is supposed to have her back, knew that she disliked his family talking about her eating to an extent that DY KNEW she chose what to eat around them to avoid their comments. Then DH himself made exactly the kind of comment he KNEW his wife was trying to avoid. It's not about her being sensitive, or his coming from a joking family. It's about a husband doing something that, according to him, he had every reason to know would be hurtful. And then he acts surprised.

The whole taping DH while sleeping and shiwing it to DH's fister seems really weird to me too. OP, did she show you the video before showing it to her sister? Were you with her when she showed it to her sister? All fine if as you say you had a good laugh. I can't imagine my DH or My doing that for kick, but to each his own. Different from the eat like a "human" comment though because you knew your DW doesn't like people talking about how she eats.

[Anonymous]

OP and his wife both have issues.

[Anonymous]

You need to seriously reevaluate how you treat your wife. Her not liking condiments should not be an annoying habit. Maybe she has other ones, but that is how she likes to eat her food, and there's nothing that is bothersome to anyone.

If her other habits that you find annoying are just personal preferences, I think you need to nip it in the bud and stop being an asshole.

Also, comments like that to your family are hurtful and really just mean and cruel. They show that you don't respect your wife. You need to get to the root of why you care that she doesn't put condiments on her hotdogs. You should respect her. If she's a picky eater, I see how that might be annoying, but she's an adult and that shouldn't matter to you.

I agree with the other poster who said to give her a serious apology and stop doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what if she has issues or not. Her DH, who is supposed to have her back, knew that she disliked his family talking about her eating to an extent that DY KNEW she chose what to eat around them to avoid their comments. Then DH himself made exactly the kind of comment he KNEW his wife was trying to avoid. It's not about her being sensitive, or his coming from a joking family. It's about a husband doing something that, according to him, he had every reason to know would be hurtful. And then he acts surprised.

The whole taping DH while sleeping and shiwing it to DH's fister seems really weird to me too. OP, did she show you the video before showing it to her sister? Were you with her when she showed it to her sister? All fine if as you say you had a good laugh. I can't imagine my DH or My doing that for kick, but to each his own. Different from the eat like a "human" comment though because you knew your DW doesn't like people talking about how she eats.

I saw the video first. I wasn't present when she showed her sister, but she brought it up at a gathering. It wasn't a big deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what if she has issues or not. Her DH, who is supposed to have her back, knew that she disliked his family talking about her eating to an extent that DY KNEW she chose what to eat around them to avoid their comments. Then DH himself made exactly the kind of comment he KNEW his wife was trying to avoid. It's not about her being sensitive, or his coming from a joking family. It's about a husband doing something that, according to him, he had every reason to know would be hurtful. And then he acts surprised.

The whole taping DH while sleeping and shiwing it to DH's fister seems really weird to me too. OP, did she show you the video before showing it to her sister? Were you with her when she showed it to her sister? All fine if as you say you had a good laugh. I can't imagine my DH or My doing that for kick, but to each his own. Different from the eat like a "human" comment though because you knew your DW doesn't like people talking about how she eats.

I saw the video first. I wasn't present when she showed her sister, but she brought it up at a gathering. It wasn't a big deal to me.

OP, from what I can see, your stance is that because something would not bother you, it should not bother your wife. I'm not surprised that she's not speaking to you, because that attitude demonstrates that you're not interested in making up for mocking her in front of your family or understanding why she was embarrassed in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, you tease her for being quiet? If your wife leans toward the introverted side of the spectrum, this crap must be annoying as hell. Just how tone deaf do you need to be to not realize that for someone like this, having their quirks highlighted and mocked in public is hugely offensive?

No wonder people on here are quick to call troll. This is too silly to be real.

[Anonymous]

Only DCUM can turn a silly comment that DW took way too seriously into such a myriad of psychological and marital issues

Wife needs to not be such a crying over sensitive ninny

[Anonymous]

Sounds like potentially eating disorder issues. How skinny is your wife OP? And does she have other "annoying" food issues or rules?

[Anonymous]

You sound like a jerk OP. If your wife posted here, she would be advised to DTMF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There has to be more to this. I have social anxiety and used to have an eating disorder, so there was a period where someone drawing attention to what/how I was eating was completely humiliating to me. The only other reason I could see someone getting THAT upset over this is PMS.

Haha, I was thinking PMS too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you tease her for being quiet? If your wife leans toward the introverted side of the spectrum, this crap must be annoying as hell. Just how tone deaf do you need to be to not realize that for someone like this, having their quirks highlighted and mocked in public is hugely offensive?

No wonder people on here are quick to call troll. This is too silly to be real.

She teases me for talking too much, it goes both ways.

17:50, she's a size 4 so she's still on the thin side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like condiments on sausage either. Your family is weird thinking it's so strange, enough to comment on.

Apologize sincerely and show her you love her.

Agree. Good for her, she doesn't put a bunch of messy, over processed sugar krap on her burger. BFD.

Getting it on your families' radar so they each ask about it is mean. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

I would buy her some flowers and say I’m sorry. I would also tell her that I’ll be more thoughtful about her feelings next time. I just said a prayer for you and your wife and I really hope things get better soon. Hugs to you!