How do I make it up to my wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little back story, my wife has a few annoying habits that I tend to tease her about. One of them is she doesn't use condiments on her food. Yesterday we went to a bbq at my uncle's house and usually she'll avoid eating certain food like hamburgers or hot dogs in front of them because she doesn't want my family to talk about how she eats. Yesterday she had an Italian sausage (just the sausage alone) and I asked her if she wanted a bun and she said no. Then one of my cousins asked her if she wanted mustard or relish and she said no thanks so she said you're just going to eat it plain, that's weird. I told her she eats all of her food like that, then I joked saying she doesn't eat like a human (something I always tell her) and she was really quiet the rest of the time we were there. She's usually quiet so I didn't think anything of it. On the car ride home, she started crying and said I embarrassed her in front of my family and she said this is why she doesn't like going to their events or eating around them. I apologized and told her we always joke like that, but she said she didn't take it as a joke. She hasn't spoken to me since. How can make this up to her?

The bolded is 100% absurd and indicative of someone with full-blown issues.

You want to make it up to her? Apologize for teasing and give her a gift cert for free therapy sessions.

I don't know about that. OP, does your family make a habit of talking about how people eat?

[Anonymous]

There has to be more to this. I have social anxiety and used to have an eating disorder, so there was a period where someone drawing attention to what/how I was eating was completely humiliating to me. The only other reason I could see someone getting THAT upset over this is PMS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife cries because someone thought it was weird she doesn't use condiments? God I can't stand babyish grown women who act like that.

+2
He is wrong for teasing her, but who cries because of something like that. I swear many wives on dcum are like that. So sensitive about everything, I'm a woman, and I'm annoyed just thinking about it. I bet she cries when your child screams at her.

+3
It's not being babyish though it's manipulative.

[Anonymous]

I think the crux of the problem is that you think her not using condiments is an "annoying" habit. How the fuck does this affect you in the slightest?

[Anonymous]

Wait. Is this the same crowd who says someone who eats buttered noodles only at a dinner party bevause the menu has nothing they like on it is childish?

So this lady and her plain sausage is fine and this dude is an asshole? Wow.

Anyway OP, the issue -- which you already know -- is that you hurt her feelings and she felt ganged up on. You could do something funny like PP said and apologize as well as give up condiments this week letting her know it is your penance for hurting her feelings or send her flowers (assuming she likes that) with a sincere apology. Either way don't pick on your wife about this again and stand up for her with your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about flowers and a sincere apology and then STOP DOING IT?? There's actually nothing wrong with eating a plain sausage. Just let the woman eat in peace. Think how annoying it would be if she constantly commented on/criticized your eating habits.

She has habits that I find annoying, just like I have habits she finds annoying. We tease each other about them all the time.

Just curious, which of your habits does she tease you about? Does she also do it in front of her family?

One thing she teased me about is talking in my sleep. She recorded it once and showed her sister the video. We all laughed about it.

So your wife thinks it's ok to videotape you in your sleep and show it to her sister, then laugh about it....but cries when you mention that she doesn't put condiments on her food.

What a dingbat.

Something is off here.

Sincerely apologize OP and don't do it again. But don't reward her behavior with special gifts and over the top attention or the behavior will continue

This is why I'm shocked that she got so upset. We tease each other like this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Also OP I think you might be dating my former boss. Same refusal to eat condiments and overly emotional child like behavior.

[Anonymous]

Your wife sounds weird

[Anonymous]

Eating disorder & OCD & social anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the crux of the problem is that you think her not using condiments is an "annoying" habit. How the fuck does this affect you in the slightest?

+1. Who cares how the other person eats their meat? Does she force you to be condiment-free also? That's the only beef you could have with her. (No pun intended, lol)

[Anonymous]

I think both spouses seem secretly mean-spirited. Who "teases" their spouse in such fashion, like they both seem to do. It's really not funny.

[Anonymous]

What other kinds of "teasing" comments do you make about her around your family? Is it something you do often? Generally I have a thick skin about most things, but DH used to "tease" me around his family as a way to put me down around them. He has issues with his parents from his childhood, and I was basically his emotional punching bag when we spent time with his family. I stopped going.

[Anonymous]

Op...there is a huge difference between teasing while you are alone the two of you and being ganged up on in front of your entire family. Clearly she doesn't like her food choices being discussed in a group b.c she already avoids certain foods at the cookouts. Sometimes we all just have things we don't like to be teased about.

I was always raised that it was rude to comment negatively on what someone else was eating....perhaps she was raised in a similar way.

I put hot sauce on every damn thing. My DH thinks it's cute and buys me new sauces to try.

Say sorry sincerely and don't do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What other kinds of "teasing" comments do you make about her around your family? Is it something you do often? Generally I have a thick skin about most things, but DH used to "tease" me around his family as a way to put me down around them. He has issues with his parents from his childhood, and I was basically his emotional punching bag when we spent time with his family. I stopped going.

This was the only time I said something around my family. Usually the jokes are amongst us. Other things I tease her about are being quiet, not smiling in pictures, and knowing about all the celebrity/reality tv gossip, but nothing about current events. We jokes and laugh then we go on about our day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What other kinds of "teasing" comments do you make about her around your family? Is it something you do often? Generally I have a thick skin about most things, but DH used to "tease" me around his family as a way to put me down around them. He has issues with his parents from his childhood, and I was basically his emotional punching bag when we spent time with his family. I stopped going.

This was the only time I said something around my family. Usually the jokes are amongst us. Other things I tease her about are being quiet, not smiling in pictures, and knowing about all the celebrity/reality tv gossip, but nothing about current events. We jokes and laugh then we go on about our day.

The more you post, the more annoying you sound. She's probably just been laughing off all these digs at her personality although they piss her off and the final straw was you publicly mocking her. Apologize and then just stop fucking doing it. No need to make a huge production out of it.