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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Typical SAHM with school aged kids day
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Anonymous
I do all of that stuff as well because I have a very flexible, full-time WAH job. If I WOH'd I would not be able to handle the load. I love my job-so there's that too. It is definitely a more stressful life if I didn't work at all, but I need structure and I'd fall into a black hole without work-imposed structure. I need to be busy. |
Anonymous
I agree. Thanks to independent wealth I don't need to work. I choose to enrich the lives of those around me - those that I love and those that I help through volunteering. I could work and feed my ego like I did in my 20s and 30s but I've found that this time with my kids and my parents/siblings/friends is precious and fleeting. I love caregiving and it suits me. If you as a woman or mother don't respect that that's fine- but no amount of derogatory comments or mean spirited words will change the fact that I love my life and helping others. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
OK, and that works for you, but no need to judge what works for others, correct? We are all not the same! |
Anonymous
I think it sounds lovely. I have a SAHM friend who sounds exactly like you. She is awesome and one of my favorite people. I was home for 5 years when my 3 kids were young. I went back back to work a year after they all went to school full time. I was bored and discontent at home despite having many daily activities, coffee dates , etc. I chalk it up to a personality flaw on my behalf. I'm not that much happier working but I don't have as much time to think about my discontent. 
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Anonymous
PP here. It's not a flaw! It's a preference. I have a lot of girlfriends who were in your position. I think it requires being honest about what works for you and your marriage and family. The worst is when you don't want to do all of this stuff or resent it or feel like it's work. It's not work (to me). It's our lives. My role is to make things run smoothly and while my DH appreciates it, I'm not looking for any outside fulfillment. My life is quiet (and would be boring to a lot of people), but I enjoy it.
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Anonymous
Ha! I get this. My own mother wouldn't respect me--joking . She was the perfect example of carving out a life/career around the family. She did it all...full-time, then SAH when the first of her 3 kids came along--until I (the youngest) was in 5th grade. She then eased back into the work force. She ramped it up when I was in HS. She became top of her field. She is the one that drilled into all of us to always have a plan and means to support in life. She modeled the value of work. It's funny because my parents have the happiest marriage. They have been married 50+ years. She did not 'need' to work as many on here like to brag about--but she was a scholar and can't sit still. My dad was equally as supportive. As my mom went back to work--they staggered schedules a bit. He became the cook. They had equal roles. It was a great model. So---yea---my DH makes an absurd amount of $ and I don't 'need' to work, but I do get great satisfaction working in the field I went to graduate school for. I like seeing my *own* retirement account grow. I have no problem if somebody else does not want to work. The only problem I have are the people I see that have so much time on their hands they create negative energy and gossip. For me, I believe 'idleness' is the root of a lot of evil. Of course, there are many, many people that don't work and are anything but 'idle'.
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Anonymous
I don't think most SAHMs graduate from college and immediately stay home. Many have jobs and careers for years before they SAHM. I work out of the home myself. However - why is it that so many people on this site think it is ok for daycare providers, nannies, housecleaners, and other household employees to do the very real work of watching the kids, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, but it is somehow demeaning for the mother of the children to do so? Legit question. Please answer. |
Anonymous
Legit answer: the kids are in school (hence the subject title). A graduate degree is wasted if I spend all day scrubbing my toilet. |
Anonymous
| I have a friend who does this. Her child are in college and have just graduated. She "cleans the house", works out for three hours a day, and meets friends. I personally don't understand it. |
Anonymous
But the graduate degree is a sunk cost. In purely economic terms, if using that degree out in the working world isn't maximizing your current and future utility (which, in this debate, is a combination not just of income produced, but also of long-term security, strength of family and other social relationships, general emotional and physical health, etc.), then using that degree is inefficient and wasteful. |
Anonymous
Of course you don't when you trivialize it like that. I'm amazed you call her a friend; I'm sure she wouldn't call you one if she knew what you thought of her. |
Anonymous
You need to get a pool boy, or a gardener or any young man with an excuse to be around the house. |
Anonymous
But who is helping the kids with homework and generally being there for them when they get out of school? I have an extremely flexible job, but it is still a struggle to get home at 5:30 and help with homework and just be there for the kids before it is time to start getting them into bed one by one. If I decided to be a SAHM tomorrow, I definitely would not think my college degree was "wasted". I have had a fantastic 20-year career and done some things that, IMO, make the world a better place. I'm proud of what I've done. However, if I decide that now I want to utilize my abilities and talents to raise my own kids, volunteer at the schools or another nonprofit, why is that wasting my degree and wasting my life? |