Do you think my mother was rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of you were rude. I cannot even believe some of the posters are giving you grief for doing this project then. It's your parents, not some stranger's house. If she had an issue with it, the only failing I see here is your mom's inability to come in earlier and state that she was tired and could you handle bedtime, etc.?

I would chalk it up to everyone being tired.

Nope. I would never have expected my mom, my MIL or any other person in my family to handle putting my kids to bed. If you need that kind of help, fine. But that is something that you ASK them to do BEFORE you disappear to work on a project.

Well, bully for you. Lots of people have family members with different situations (my MIL would do it in a heartbeat w/o bitching about it). And, an occasional bedtime is not quite the big deal you're making it. At all. The entire visit? Ok, you may have a point. And, again, this all comes down to communication and nothing more. They both could have communicated the expectation as to who was doing what. The argument was a result of that alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I am a single mom.
Mom watched DD for 60 minutes.
DD went to sleep at 8:30.

I rescind any thought that you were out of line.

If you asked your mom to help, an hour of hanging out with her grandchild is not too much to ask.

Mom watched Op's DD and Op's sister's kids - right before bedtime when kids generally start to get whiny, cranky. My guess is that Grandma also cooked dinner, cleaned up, provided lunch, etc for both families, too.

An hour of childcare is not a long time unless it is at the end of a busy day, when you are already worn out and ready to put your own feet up.....and the kiddos are worn out and cranky and need to be put to bed.

OP here. To clarify... my DD and 1 cousin were snuggling and reading in Grandma's bed from 7:30-8:30. DD fell asleep at 8:30 in Grandma's bed, and then Grandma moved her next door to the crib. At 9:30, my mom came in and told me to finish up. This was Saturday evening-not Thanksgiving. Other family members were off doing their own thing, as well---From 8:30-9:30, Grandma was in bed reading. We had all been out for a late lunch in a restaurant so there was no dinner/cooking that day----everyone was too full from the lunch (and ice cream shop for dessert) for dinner. Breakfast was everyone fending for themselves.

Weren't you actually working on the book for two hours on Saturday, not one? From 7:30 to 8:30 while the kids were snuggling with Grandma on her bed, and then from 8:30-9:30 after your kid was asleep and Grandma was reading?

Before you said:

3) Childcare for once not an issue, as DD was happily playing with cousins/Grandma agreed to watch her-and DD had just fallen asleep.

Mom/grandma walks in just as I was finishing the book, and huffily said, "It is time to stop working on the book. It is taking too long We are all tired. Finish it later." (It was 9:30, DD had just fallen asleep, SIL putting her kid to bed so she could quickly look over the completed book before I submitted it. SIL in room with me, and said,"I am happy to help. No problem here." I got a little huffy back ("Just let me finish!" to my mom, and she walked away.

Weren't you working on the book while grandma was putting the kids to bed starting at 7:30? Otherwise what was the point of explaining that she had agreed to watch the kids while you were working on it? Then you were still working on it at 9:30 when Grandma came in to tell you everyone was tired and you should put it away.

This is still much, MUCH better than the six hours of photobook time I had been imagining when I first read your post (I have gotten stuck down that rabbit hole), and not that bad really, but I don't think you should be mad at your mom in any way. It was the end of a long day and she had just done you a favor of putting some (probably overtired) kids to bed, and it was her house, and she's STILL YOUR MOM, so she gets a pass.