Do you think my mother was rude?

[Anonymous]

First, let me say that I have a wonderful mother. I realize that the situation I am about to describe is barely a blip on the radar, and I am overthinking. I am just curious if you would be annoyed if this happened to you?

I am at my parent's home for Thanksgiving weekend along with my sibs and their kids.
DD just turned 2, and I have been looking forward to putting together a Shutterfly book of the past year for her.
This was the PERFECT, and pretty much only time I could do the book because:
1) My computer was having issues, and easier to do it on computer at parent's house.
2) SIL and I get along GREAT, and is excellent on computer- I am not. I did 95% of the book, but relied on her to help with occasional minor questions. Once she got me started then I worked on the book independently, with the occasional question.
She was happy to help me, as we have that kind of relationship, and she knew the situation.
3) Childcare for once not an issue, as DD was happily playing with cousins/Grandma agreed to watch her-and DD had just fallen asleep.

Mom/grandma walks in just as I was finishing the book, and huffily said, "It is time to stop working on the book. It is taking too long We are all tired. Finish it later." (It was 9:30, DD had just fallen asleep, SIL putting her kid to bed so she could quickly look over the completed book before I submitted it. SIL in room with me, and said,"I am happy to help. No problem here." I got a little huffy back ("Just let me finish!" to my mom, and she walked away.

I later apologiized to my mom for my comment, but explained how this was the perfect time to do the book. She pretty much ignored my apology, and replied, 'Did you thank SIL for helping you?" (Of course, I did.....and told her that....)

End of vent. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

I think it was rude of you to plan on doing a big project like that on someone else's computer, yes. Especially a gift for that person. And counting on others to entertain your two year old while you did it. It sounds like it took hours.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she was feeling snippy for some reason. I'd let it go.

[Anonymous]

I think you are rude to ignore your relatives on Thanksgiving to work on a what amounts to a picture book.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. It's been a long weekend and she has had a house full of people.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I kind of think you were the rude one, too. But, if this is the biggest problem your family had and you already apologized for being snippy, it is probably okay. Maybe your mom was looking forward to spending time with you and feels she missed out. Does she live local? Can you plan a girls' shopping day out with her?

[Anonymous]

It was the perfect time for YOU to do a vanity project. Obviously your mother did not feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Why would it be rude for your mother to tell you it is too late to be on her computer in her home?

[Anonymous]

I think you have a rationale for why everything should go your way.

[Anonymous]

No, I think you were rude, and entitled.

If this is the biggest complaint you have about your mom, I envy you. My mom is dead.

[Anonymous]

I think your plan might have been acceptable if you needed the computer for an important work assignment or college application essay. Why does a child's picture book need perfect timing? You simply wanted to work on it.

[Anonymous]

No it wasn't rude. Why would it be rude for your mother to tell you to stop with this project when it's almost 10 p.m. at night? She had been watching your kid and now she was over it.

[Anonymous]

Apology and flowers to your mother. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

You're the rude one in this case because it's your parents home and it was a holiday. If this was meant to be a gift for the grands than that's twice as rude to do it in their presence. If you and your SIL have a great relationship and she's happy to help you she could have done so any other time. Can't blame your mom for being annoyed.
I concur with the pp who said you sound like the kind of person who justifies everything.

Since you've apologized already just let this go but if it's not something you would do at your in laws, it's not something you should do in your parents home neither.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't rude, she was probably tired from watching the kids. Let it go.