Can a cheating husband still be a good parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a level of deceptiveness and selfishness inherent in cheating that's hard to reconcile with being a deeply loving and involved parent.

This. Cheaters are with APs when they should be with their kids. Don't imagine that cheaters only cheat between 1 and 5 am. Yet cheaters will say"they love their kids sooooo much." BS.

No, cheaters are with their AP when they should be on dates with their wives or in bed having sex with their wives.

No. It's usually after work when they should be at their kids game or helping with dinner.

Actually, usually it’s during a lunch break at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can women who refuse to meet their husband’s sexual needs be good mothers? They are intentionally creating a toxic environment in their children’s homes.

Lol. Your kids don’t give a crap about your sex life.

Exactly.

AP are not just a sex life dumb ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a level of deceptiveness and selfishness inherent in cheating that's hard to reconcile with being a deeply loving and involved parent.

This. Cheaters are with APs when they should be with their kids. Don't imagine that cheaters only cheat between 1 and 5 am. Yet cheaters will say"they love their kids sooooo much." BS.

No, cheaters are with their AP when they should be on dates with their wives or in bed having sex with their wives.

No. It's usually after work when they should be at their kids game or helping with dinner.

Actually, usually it’s during a lunch break at work.

which causes them to work later.

everybody at work knows who is banging, it's not hard to figure out. We see them stay late, goof off at work, piss off their bosses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a level of deceptiveness and selfishness inherent in cheating that's hard to reconcile with being a deeply loving and involved parent.

This. Cheaters are with APs when they should be with their kids. Don't imagine that cheaters only cheat between 1 and 5 am. Yet cheaters will say"they love their kids sooooo much." BS.

No, cheaters are with their AP when they should be on dates with their wives or in bed having sex with their wives.

No. It's usually after work when they should be at their kids game or helping with dinner.

Actually, usually it’s during a lunch break at work.

which causes them to work later.

everybody at work knows who is banging, it's not hard to figure out. We see them stay late, goof off at work, piss off their bosses.

This is not true. There are many men who excel at their careers and have extra marital affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a level of deceptiveness and selfishness inherent in cheating that's hard to reconcile with being a deeply loving and involved parent.

This. Cheaters are with APs when they should be with their kids. Don't imagine that cheaters only cheat between 1 and 5 am. Yet cheaters will say"they love their kids sooooo much." BS.

No, cheaters are with their AP when they should be on dates with their wives or in bed having sex with their wives.

No. It's usually after work when they should be at their kids game or helping with dinner.

Actually, usually it’s during a lunch break at work.

which causes them to work later.

everybody at work knows who is banging, it's not hard to figure out. We see them stay late, goof off at work, piss off their bosses.

Not necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can women who refuse to meet their husband’s sexual needs be good mothers? They are intentionally creating a toxic environment in their children’s homes.

Lol. Your kids don’t give a crap about your sex life.

Exactly.

AP are not just a sex life dumb ass.

Depends on the AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can women who refuse to meet their husband’s sexual needs be good mothers? They are intentionally creating a toxic environment in their children’s homes.

Lol. Your kids don’t give a crap about your sex life.

Exactly.

AP are not just a sex life dumb ass.

Depends on the AP.

Not really depends on the Cheater. How much time and effort he takes away from the kids for his ego stroke. Walking away from kids games to text. Getting home late instead of being there for dinner and bedtime routine. Any old desperate AP will do. Oh yea and APs freak out on holidays desperately texting when he is with family.

It's family vacation season and the APs go bonkers on DCUM this time of year and at Xmas.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I think so. I have multiple issues with the claim that they can't be.

One, I don't like the implication that you can't be a good parent unless you're perfect. No one is perfect. Yes, cheaters are very imperfect but non-cheating partners have their flaws as well. Children should not have expectations of perfection toward their parents. We are all highly flawed people trying to do our best. That has to be good enough.

Second, I think that cheated-upon partners (usually wives) tend to see children as extensions of themselves and that's just not so. Your children are separate beings, their needs are separate from yours, meeting their needs has nothing to do with meeting yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I think so. I have multiple issues with the claim that they can't be.

One, I don't like the implication that you can't be a good parent unless you're perfect. No one is perfect. Yes, cheaters are very imperfect but non-cheating partners have their flaws as well. Children should not have expectations of perfection toward their parents. We are all highly flawed people trying to do our best. That has to be good enough.

Second, I think that cheated-upon partners (usually wives) tend to see children as extensions of themselves and that's just not so. Your children are separate beings, their needs are separate from yours, meeting their needs has nothing to do with meeting yours.

Sure they can be just like they can be faithful. But the fact is the same character traits that are found in a cheater are also found in a bad parent, like being self absorbed and unable to form lasting bonds or using sex as a way to form bonds.

Somebody who is schizophrenic can be a good parent it just that most are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can women who refuse to meet their husband’s sexual needs be good mothers? They are intentionally creating a toxic environment in their children’s homes.

Lol. Your kids don’t give a crap about your sex life.

Exactly.

AP are not just a sex life dumb ass.

Depends on the AP.

Not really depends on the Cheater. How much time and effort he takes away from the kids for his ego stroke. Walking away from kids games to text. Getting home late instead of being there for dinner and bedtime routine. Any old desperate AP will do. Oh yea and APs freak out on holidays desperately texting when he is with family.

It's family vacation season and the APs go bonkers on DCUM this time of year and at Xmas.

Sounds like you have a lot of experience with APs. I hope one day you get some help for your mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can women who refuse to meet their husband’s sexual needs be good mothers? They are intentionally creating a toxic environment in their children’s homes.

Lol. Your kids don’t give a crap about your sex life.

Exactly.

AP are not just a sex life dumb ass.

Depends on the AP.

Not really depends on the Cheater. How much time and effort he takes away from the kids for his ego stroke. Walking away from kids games to text. Getting home late instead of being there for dinner and bedtime routine. Any old desperate AP will do. Oh yea and APs freak out on holidays desperately texting when he is with family.

It's family vacation season and the APs go bonkers on DCUM this time of year and at Xmas.

Sounds like you have a lot of experience with APs. I hope one day you get some help for your mental illness.

I have a lot of fun friends. It's like Mad Men where I work. Advertising and Marketing... I might turn to salt.

[Anonymous]

It is the very core of their (the children's) sense of stability. Being unfaithful in a marriage is the absolute biggest f*ck-up a parent can do to their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the very core of their (the children's) sense of stability. Being unfaithful in a marriage is the absolute biggest f*ck-up a parent can do to their children.

I have fostered several children and I can assure you there are much worse things a parent can do than banging that chick in accounts receivable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the very core of their (the children's) sense of stability. Being unfaithful in a marriage is the absolute biggest f*ck-up a parent can do to their children.

I have fostered several children and I can assure you there are much worse things a parent can do than banging that chick in accounts receivable.

Remember, your perspective is very skewed.

Once you see sexual abuse you can't just be like ... everything else is nothing.

- Trauma therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the very core of their (the children's) sense of stability. Being unfaithful in a marriage is the absolute biggest f*ck-up a parent can do to their children.

I have fostered several children and I can assure you there are much worse things a parent can do than banging that chick in accounts receivable.

Remember, your perspective is very skewed.

Once you see sexual abuse you can't just be like ... everything else is nothing.

- Trauma therapist.

Yes, but my skewed perspective doesn’t make PP’s statement correct.

In an otherwise healthy household, disrupting stability by having an affair can have a major impact on kids. But usually affairs don’t happen in healthy marriages/households.