For the love of God Please stop bringing your babies to bars for girl's night out

[Anonymous]

Let's imagine this (highly likely) scenario:

- mom had a baby 6 months ago. She lives in the city and has met a handful of other moms in mom groups. She went back to work when her maternity leave ended 3 months ago. No surprise, going back to work has been tough and exhausting and she and her husband haven't seen many friends or had many relaxing times in the past few months. Basically, the same as it was for all of us. Add to boot, her husband has long hours and travels for work a lot (pretty common in DC), so mom is responsible for 100% of daycare pick-ups/getting home to relieve the nanny share and she's home by herself after work 50% of the time. Her friends from grad school, who she used to do happy hours with every few weeks, and who are all child free and have professional careers, are going out tonight after work at 9pm. New mom considers these some of her best girlfriends and hasn't seen them in ages. She's also going crazy. They say "bring the baby!" "It's a super quiet wine bar filled with a handful of professionals!" Baby is generally well behaved in public and sleeps pretty consistently at 8pm every night, since mom is otherwise on such a great schedule. Mom has a night time babysitter she could call, but they haven't really used the babysitter much yet (since baby is so young), and it's almost more trouble having to bring a new babysitter up to speed - how to feed, put to sleep, baby doesn't like to take a bottle from strangers, or go to sleep with anyone but mom...

Knowing the DC professional women scene, this seems a million times more likely to me than some layabout irresponsible single mom who hauls her baby to bars 6 nights a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um so I'm assuming sitting with my 9 mo in my lap while we watch vintage sopranos and he eats lucky charms is a no no? OMG I BROKE THE BABY! Everybody panic!!

You MUST be a millennial. [/sarcasm]

[Anonymous]

I think I am the only one more annoyed that you are bringing a baby to an upscale wine bar than just and Irish/Sports bar.

I think that annoys me more because I go to upscale places at night to NOT be around kids and babies because really they should not be there.

If the sun is down (summer) then that baby should be in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, we saw babies in pubs and restaurants late at night all the time.

Europeans are lushes and not exactly good role models. They also smoke a lot and have unhealthy attitudes about things like sex. What's your point?

Holy cow. You're ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, we saw babies in pubs and restaurants late at night all the time.

Europeans are lushes and not exactly good role models. They also smoke a lot and have unhealthy attitudes about things like sex. What's your point?

That must be why they are so much happier than Americans.

They most definitely are not happier than Americans.

A report released by the Sustainable Development Solutions Network for the United Nations on April 23:

People who live in the happiest countries have longer life expectancies and more social support, experience more generosity, have more freedom to make life choices, have lower perceptions of corruption and have a higher gross domestic product per capita, the report shows. The top 10:

1. Switzerland
2. Iceland
3, Denmark
4.Norway
5. Canada
6. Finland
7.Netherlands
8. Sweden
9.New Zealand
10. Australia

Forbes has the same top nine (in a spnewhat different order) with the USA as 10th.

Unhappiest people? Bitter Moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, we saw babies in pubs and restaurants late at night all the time.

Europeans are lushes and not exactly good role models. They also smoke a lot and have unhealthy attitudes about things like sex. What's your point?

That must be why they are so much happier than Americans.

They most definitely are not happier than Americans.

A report released by the Sustainable Development Solutions Network for the United Nations on April 23:

People who live in the happiest countries have longer life expectancies and more social support, experience more generosity, have more freedom to make life choices, have lower perceptions of corruption and have a higher gross domestic product per capita, the report shows. The top 10:

1. Switzerland
2. Iceland
3, Denmark
4.Norway
5. Canada
6. Finland
7.Netherlands
8. Sweden
9.New Zealand
10. Australia

Forbes has the same top nine (in a spnewhat different order) with the USA as 10th.

Unhappiest people? Bitter Moms.

How dare you use data to dispute my anecdotal evidence.

[Anonymous]

I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.

These parents very well may have thought of all the people their decision would impact. They went through the list of people who would be affected by a sleeping baby (their friends, who invited the baby, the waiter, the owners, other patrons) and determined the only person who was affected in anyway whatsoever was the bitter old cow who suffered distress just by SEEING a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.

These parents very well may have thought of all the people their decision would impact. They went through the list of people who would be affected by a sleeping baby (their friends, who invited the baby, the waiter, the owners, other patrons) and determined the only person who was affected in anyway whatsoever was the bitter old cow who suffered distress just by SEEING a baby.

Doubtful. Because part of being a good parent is being good in society. 9 pm wine bar is not an appropriate venue for a baby/child. This is very evidently someone who gives no thought to others and puts themselves first in the social contract.

[Anonymous]

I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.


These parents very well may have thought of all the people their decision would impact. They went through the list of people who would be affected by a sleeping baby (their friends, who invited the baby, the waiter, the owners, other patrons) and determined the only person who was affected in anyway whatsoever was the bitter old cow who suffered distress just by SEEING a baby.

The problem with your statement is that there is certainly no guarantee that the baby would be sleeping. If there were, go ahead and bring it. But there is at least a 50% chance that the baby will be awake, unhappy, and making noises (crying, whining) that other patrons in an adult environment don't want to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.


These parents very well may have thought of all the people their decision would impact. They went through the list of people who would be affected by a sleeping baby (their friends, who invited the baby, the waiter, the owners, other patrons) and determined the only person who was affected in anyway whatsoever was the bitter old cow who suffered distress just by SEEING a baby.

The problem with your statement is that there is certainly no guarantee that the baby would be sleeping. If there were, go ahead and bring it. But there is at least a 50% chance that the baby will be awake, unhappy, and making noises (crying, whining) that other patrons in an adult environment don't want to hear.

In which case, any responsible parent would immediately leave with the baby until the baby settled, and go home if the baby didn't settle.

[Anonymous]

I am kinda shocked at how fired up everyone is about someone having their baby with them at a bar. I know I shouldn't be since this is the DCUM forum, however it seems crazy that people have these self-determined rules they expect everyone else to know, agree with and follow. I.e. no babies allowed after happy hour, which they determine ends at XYZ hour. Unless you are drowning yourself in your sorrows at the bar are you not there enjoying yourself with whomever you are there with or perhaps even enjoying a drink alone. How did life get so miserable that the inability to control others behavior with our unspoken judgments and rules has become the determining factor to if you can enjoy your time in a bar-establishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am kinda shocked at how fired up everyone is about someone having their baby with them at a bar. I know I shouldn't be since this is the DCUM forum, however it seems crazy that people have these self-determined rules they expect everyone else to know, agree with and follow. I.e. no babies allowed after happy hour, which they determine ends at XYZ hour. Unless you are drowning yourself in your sorrows at the bar are you not there enjoying yourself with whomever you are there with or perhaps even enjoying a drink alone. How did life get so miserable that the inability to control others behavior with our unspoken judgments and rules has become the determining factor to if you can enjoy your time in a bar-establishment.

Truth. Some people judge others for sport. ...I have real hobbies.

[Anonymous]

People, OP stated this didn't happen at a happy hour, but late at night 9/10pm.

If this was at a restaurant type bar, then it's probably not the best place for babies, but not as bad as if it was at a "bar" bar, you know?

A pub in Europe is more like a restaurant bar. But even in Europe, they have "bar" bars that people wouldn't bring babies to, and yes, they would probably frown on it.

When adults go to a bar at 10pm, it's expected that it's going to be crowded, maybe loud music, even possibly drunken behavior. These kinds of places are not appropriate for a baby. Where was the baby? In a carseat on the floor? Someone could trip over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, OP stated this didn't happen at a happy hour, but late at night 9/10pm.

If this was at a restaurant type bar, then it's probably not the best place for babies, but not as bad as if it was at a "bar" bar, you know?

A pub in Europe is more like a restaurant bar. But even in Europe, they have "bar" bars that people wouldn't bring babies to, and yes, they would probably frown on it.

When adults go to a bar at 10pm, it's expected that it's going to be crowded, maybe loud music, even possibly drunken behavior. These kinds of places are not appropriate for a baby. Where was the baby? In a carseat on the floor? Someone could trip over it.

I think the sad fact is that many of the PPs complaining about this just haven't been to a nice bar since before their kids were born, and they've ignored and swallowed their resentment about this and instead are projecting anger against those parents who still have a happy healthy social life post-baby. A wine bar in downtown DC does not involve loud music or drunken behavior, even at 9pm at night. In fact, in DC most of these bars have quieted down by 9pm at night, and are much busier at happy hour. When I go to a wine, restaurant, cocktail or other similar bar in this neighborhood (Chinatown) at 9pm, I would generally expect it to be mostly quiet, with a handful of professionals and out of town business travelers. I'm sorry the complaining PPs haven't been to an urban bar in the last 20 years to know what going out looks like these days.