For the love of God Please stop bringing your babies to bars for girl's night out

[Anonymous]

I once saw parents who had their what-looked-like an 18 mos. old kid at a Bon Jovi concert at the Verizon Center. The poor kid looked absolutely shell-shocked as she was being toted out of there around 1100 p.m. I admit I thought the parents were self-centered assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once saw parents who had their what-looked-like an 18 mos. old kid at a Bon Jovi concert at the Verizon Center. The poor kid looked absolutely shell-shocked as she was being toted out of there around 1100 p.m. I admit I thought the parents were self-centered assholes.

pretty different than a quiet wine bar, though, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, OP stated this didn't happen at a happy hour, but late at night 9/10pm.

If this was at a restaurant type bar, then it's probably not the best place for babies, but not as bad as if it was at a "bar" bar, you know?

A pub in Europe is more like a restaurant bar. But even in Europe, they have "bar" bars that people wouldn't bring babies to, and yes, they would probably frown on it.

When adults go to a bar at 10pm, it's expected that it's going to be crowded, maybe loud music, even possibly drunken behavior. These kinds of places are not appropriate for a baby. Where was the baby? In a carseat on the floor? Someone could trip over it.

But even if everything you say is true, and a bar at 10 pm is an unsuitable place for a baby -- what's it to you? Assuming that you don't trip over the baby in a carseat on the floor.

[Anonymous]

If the bars are as rowdy with drunken behavior as people are providing, I don't necessarily think a baby would be the most disruptive patron. I can think of lots of babies who are far better behaved than people who are inebriated. Are people concerned about their going-out experience or truly worried about the well-being of a baby in a bar? let's be real folks.

[Anonymous]

I think the sad fact is that many of the PPs complaining about this just haven't been to a nice bar since before their kids were born, and they've ignored and swallowed their resentment about this and instead are projecting anger against those parents who still have a happy healthy social life post-baby. A wine bar in downtown DC does not involve loud music or drunken behavior, even at 9pm at night. In fact, in DC most of these bars have quieted down by 9pm at night, and are much busier at happy hour. When I go to a wine, restaurant, cocktail or other similar bar in this neighborhood (Chinatown) at 9pm, I would generally expect it to be mostly quiet, with a handful of professionals and out of town business travelers. I'm sorry the complaining PPs haven't been to an urban bar in the last 20 years to know what going out looks like these days.

Oh, but I have been, and I've paid a sitter $15 an hour to watch my kids on the occasions I've done it. Which is why I don't want to spend my time their listening to someone else's baby cry and whine. At all. If the parents are willing to leave immediately upon the slightest fussiness, sure, bring the baby. Otherwise, no. If I wanted to listen to crying and whining, I'd stay home with my own kids for free.

[Anonymous]

Stop trying to parent other people's children. It's usually the folks that have the most to say about other people's parenting that have the worst kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor parenting.

I always feel bad when I see a baby in a bar late night. It usually means they have no schedule for the kid and that same kid ends up being a nightmare as a toddler.

Structure is kind of important and if you are dragging a baby everywhere without routines, it is recipe for disaster later.

Or it could be a non-routine thing such as a family being on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think the sad fact is that many of the PPs complaining about this just haven't been to a nice bar since before their kids were born, and they've ignored and swallowed their resentment about this and instead are projecting anger against those parents who still have a happy healthy social life post-baby. A wine bar in downtown DC does not involve loud music or drunken behavior, even at 9pm at night. In fact, in DC most of these bars have quieted down by 9pm at night, and are much busier at happy hour. When I go to a wine, restaurant, cocktail or other similar bar in this neighborhood (Chinatown) at 9pm, I would generally expect it to be mostly quiet, with a handful of professionals and out of town business travelers. I'm sorry the complaining PPs haven't been to an urban bar in the last 20 years to know what going out looks like these days.

Oh, but I have been, and I've paid a sitter $15 an hour to watch my kids on the occasions I've done it. Which is why I don't want to spend my time their listening to someone else's baby cry and whine. At all. If the parents are willing to leave immediately upon the slightest fussiness, sure, bring the baby. Otherwise, no. If I wanted to listen to crying and whining, I'd stay home with my own kids for free.

+1 and this goes for high end fine dining as well. There is a reason those places often don't have high chairs or kids menus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never brought my baby to a bar or a movie theater (but I have seen babies at both) - people are rude and only think of themselves.

It doesn't anger me. Because those that don't get it or rationalize it will never change. So there is no need to stress.

These parents very well may have thought of all the people their decision would impact. They went through the list of people who would be affected by a sleeping baby (their friends, who invited the baby, the waiter, the owners, other patrons) and determined the only person who was affected in anyway whatsoever was the bitter old cow who suffered distress just by SEEING a baby.

Doubtful. Because part of being a good parent is being good in society. 9 pm wine bar is not an appropriate venue for a baby/child. This is very evidently someone who gives no thought to others and puts themselves first in the social contract.

Why should they care about what a random stranger thinks? They probably had a good time while you spent most of the evening stewing in bitterness.

[Anonymous]

You paid $15 dollars to have the sitter watch your kids, enjoy your night out, you don't have to respond to another person's baby "crying and whining," your parenting obligations to your own children are relieved by your sitter. Try and relax and not get so caught up in what other people are doing. Consider not whether you can control the "crying and whining," but whether you can focus on not letting it bother you. That will give you a heck of a lot more happiness long term than pointless annoyance when others don't act how you would or how you want them to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why anyone has a problem with an infant being in a quiet upscale wine bar. This isn't selfish millennials -- unless the baby starts crying. But from what I gather, these were some nice friends out with a quiet well behaved baby. Why would anyone at the bar have a problem with it? The baby isn't doing anything to offend anyone else, other than by virtue of being there. The other PPs are pissed just because they "think" it shouldn't happen. They should get over themselves, just like people who "thought" interracial dating and same-sex marriages were taboo should get over themselves. Yeah, a slightly more extreme example, but the analogy still sticks: That the activity isn't hurting anyone so why do they care?

I think it's great the friends were all able to connect, even though a baby can sometimes change the dynamic of friendships. When I had a baby, most of my girlfriends were (and continue to be) single and/or childless. I met moms through mom groups, and while I made a few friends in the groups, by and large I found these folks painfully boring and not people I would have been friends with in the absence of kids. I'm glad I've been able to stay tight with my childless friends, and that often means going to bars, hipster restaurants, urban backyards and other random places that you may not want to bring your friends. Some times other folks have kids there, which is great. But life goes on if it's just mom, dad and son.

Also - someone suggested that it was horrible to leave an infant bored like that without stimulation in a bar. But what about all you suburbanites who spend 2 hours a day in the car while your infants just stare at the backseat? That's so unstimulating. It's okay if infants spend some time not being stimulated and with their own thoughts. I suspect this woman spends less time at wine bars than your kids spend blankly in the carseat.

Actually as a child development masters, I can tell you that a restaurant or bar at that time of night for a baby is way too much stimulation for a baby's brain. The natural rhythms of a baby should be winding down around 4 pm (think clean slate in the morning when a baby wakes - so the most stimulation then and wind down later in the evening).


Ha, tell that to my 2 yr old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

This is stupid. You can interview and get references for a babysitter if you don't know a good one. You probably SHOULD have at least one trusted babysitter that you know, in case of an emergency that involves both parents. Nobody expects you to hand your baby to a random stranger, but it's over the top to think there is nobody on Earth qualified to care for your child other than you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

This thread is bonkers. I can't believe we are all freaking out about this. Parenting is hard enough without us pointing fingers at each other, being totally judgmental - prob just to feel superior. Tell you what - if you don't think babies should be in bars, don't take your baby to a bar. If you don't like looking at other peoples babies in bars, well get over yourself because you're not alone on this planet.

OH and I guarantee there's some shit that OP does with her kids that another DCUM could write a whole thread about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

This is stupid. You can interview and get references for a babysitter if you don't know a good one. You probably SHOULD have at least one trusted babysitter that you know, in case of an emergency that involves both parents. Nobody expects you to hand your baby to a random stranger, but it's over the top to think there is nobody on Earth qualified to care for your child other than you and your husband.

My kid didn't have a sitter for the first 2 years of her life because A) I had no family near me B) the cost of daycare left me totally broke and C) I couldn't stand being away from her anymore than I ready was. But if you have lots of money, support, and time with your kids, by all means get a sitter! The rest of us will annoy you with our kids in public so we can still have a life too.