For the love of God Please stop bringing your babies to bars for girl's night out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

This is stupid. You can interview and get references for a babysitter if you don't know a good one. You probably SHOULD have at least one trusted babysitter that you know, in case of an emergency that involves both parents. Nobody expects you to hand your baby to a random stranger, but it's over the top to think there is nobody on Earth qualified to care for your child other than you and your husband.

My kid didn't have a sitter for the first 2 years of her life because A) I had no family near me B) the cost of daycare left me totally broke and C) I couldn't stand being away from her anymore than I ready was. But if you have lots of money, support, and time with your kids, by all means get a sitter! The rest of us will annoy you with our kids in public so we can still have a life too.

The PP said specifically that she didn't want a stranger watching her baby. I was responding to that part of the post. I don't care about your personal situation, including whether or not you bring your baby to the bar. Knock yourself out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People, OP stated this didn't happen at a happy hour, but late at night 9/10pm.

If this was at a restaurant type bar, then it's probably not the best place for babies, but not as bad as if it was at a "bar" bar, you know?

A pub in Europe is more like a restaurant bar. But even in Europe, they have "bar" bars that people wouldn't bring babies to, and yes, they would probably frown on it.

When adults go to a bar at 10pm, it's expected that it's going to be crowded, maybe loud music, even possibly drunken behavior. These kinds of places are not appropriate for a baby. Where was the baby? In a carseat on the floor? Someone could trip over it.

But even if everything you say is true, and a bar at 10 pm is an unsuitable place for a baby -- what's it to you? Assuming that you don't trip over the baby in a carseat on the floor.

Well, I don't really care, and it is none of my business. But, I'm free to judge.

And I agree with another PP, when adults go to certain places, they go there expecting a nice evening with adults, not to hear a baby cry or have a meltdown because it's so late and the baby is probably tired. Will it hurt the baby by being out so late? In the long run, no, but I don't see why a parent would think it's ok to take a tired baby to a bar just so the parent can have some fun. Of course, people will question that parent's judgement.

Did OP state this was a quiet wine bar? I didn't read that part. For all we know, it could've been a lively bar, in which case, I would judge that mom. Sorry, but that's how it is. Yes, people judge, especially on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers. I can't believe we are all freaking out about this. Parenting is hard enough without us pointing fingers at each other, being totally judgmental - prob just to feel superior. Tell you what - if you don't think babies should be in bars, don't take your baby to a bar. If you don't like looking at other peoples babies in bars, well get over yourself because you're not alone on this planet.

OH and I guarantee there's some shit that OP does with her kids that another DCUM could write a whole thread about.

That's why this forum is so fun!

[Anonymous]

How do you know that the baby does not go to sleep until 10pm and then gets up at 6,7,8 or 9am?
Some people get their kids on sleep skeds like that so they can sleep later because the parent goes to bed later.
What is the diff to you? Were these mom keeping your sleepy ass baby awake?

[Anonymous]

I love how OP says that the one mother was a young mother, so she "let it go." Is this your version of letting it go, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think the sad fact is that many of the PPs complaining about this just haven't been to a nice bar since before their kids were born, and they've ignored and swallowed their resentment about this and instead are projecting anger against those parents who still have a happy healthy social life post-baby. A wine bar in downtown DC does not involve loud music or drunken behavior, even at 9pm at night. In fact, in DC most of these bars have quieted down by 9pm at night, and are much busier at happy hour. When I go to a wine, restaurant, cocktail or other similar bar in this neighborhood (Chinatown) at 9pm, I would generally expect it to be mostly quiet, with a handful of professionals and out of town business travelers. I'm sorry the complaining PPs haven't been to an urban bar in the last 20 years to know what going out looks like these days.

Oh, but I have been, and I've paid a sitter $15 an hour to watch my kids on the occasions I've done it. Which is why I don't want to spend my time their listening to someone else's baby cry and whine. At all. If the parents are willing to leave immediately upon the slightest fussiness, sure, bring the baby. Otherwise, no. If I wanted to listen to crying and whining, I'd stay home with my own kids for free.

This is what irks me. I go to nice restaurants and bars with my friends and other couples all the time since having kids. This is DC we all have lives as well. But I pay a sitter for the time out. I want a nice adult time out and just because some parents are too cheap to get a sitter or too selfish to realize we all don't want to deal with a whining and cryong baby - doesn't mean I want my evening ruined. Take the baby to a family restaurant if you really need to a crap parent dragging a baby out at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

Then if you are that cheap or insecure don't go out or choose child appropriate venues and times. (Brunch! Diners! Family restaurants!)

[Anonymous]

You paid $15 dollars to have the sitter watch your kids, enjoy your night out, you don't have to respond to another person's baby "crying and whining," your parenting obligations to your own children are relieved by your sitter. Try and relax and not get so caught up in what other people are doing. Consider not whether you can control the "crying and whining," but whether you can focus on not letting it bother you. That will give you a heck of a lot more happiness long term than pointless annoyance when others don't act how you would or how you want them to.

It's not a matter of "others not acting how I would or how I want them to." It's others acting objectively inappropriately. If I brought a two year old to a lecture and just let him scream his head off, would it be the problem of the other people? Would they be "caught up in what I was doing" if they were upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

This is stupid. You can interview and get references for a babysitter if you don't know a good one. You probably SHOULD have at least one trusted babysitter that you know, in case of an emergency that involves both parents. Nobody expects you to hand your baby to a random stranger, but it's over the top to think there is nobody on Earth qualified to care for your child other than you and your husband.

My kid didn't have a sitter for the first 2 years of her life because A) I had no family near me B) the cost of daycare left me totally broke and C) I couldn't stand being away from her anymore than I ready was. But if you have lots of money, support, and time with your kids, by all means get a sitter! The rest of us will annoy you with our kids in public so we can still have a life too. [/quote




And there is the reality. Selfish and cheap. Thanks for bringing your baby to the movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You paid $15 dollars to have the sitter watch your kids, enjoy your night out, you don't have to respond to another person's baby "crying and whining," your parenting obligations to your own children are relieved by your sitter. Try and relax and not get so caught up in what other people are doing. Consider not whether you can control the "crying and whining," but whether you can focus on not letting it bother you. That will give you a heck of a lot more happiness long term than pointless annoyance when others don't act how you would or how you want them to.

It's not a matter of "others not acting how I would or how I want them to." It's others acting objectively inappropriately. If I brought a two year old to a lecture and just let him scream his head off, would it be the problem of the other people? Would they be "caught up in what I was doing" if they were upset?

Nailed it.

I was at a presentation and someone had a 15 month causing a ruckus. It was awful. Dad finally took the kid out. Mom went after him and dragged the kid back just to have him act up. We were all so angered and the lecture was ruined. This happens more and more.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you party a lot. Where are your kids while you are at the bar?

[Anonymous]

I think we can all agree a lecture or presentation in front of an audience who all presumably came to listen to quietly is a lot different than a bar where people come to socialize and talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK I have a feeling this was a classy wine bar instead of the honky tonk bar that pps are making it out to be. Who knows, maybe it was someone's birthday or the babysitter cancelled. As long as the baby didn't mind, I don't see the big deal. I have more of an issue with 5-7 year olds in bars. And last time I saw kids in a bar they were wearing pajamas!

Seriously?


Wow. I think a baby in a bar after 8 pm inappropriate (even if a nice restaurant/bar). An older child/toddler definitely.

If you have enough money to go to these places you can afford a sitter. I know a lot of people are indifferent but that is the general trend to not be considerate of others. It boils down to - is this a place and time of day meant for that audience. Taking a child to cultural events is very different than honky tonks or wine bars.

Not everyone has family and friends around to babysit and not everyone wants a stranger watching their baby.

This is stupid. You can interview and get references for a babysitter if you don't know a good one. You probably SHOULD have at least one trusted babysitter that you know, in case of an emergency that involves both parents. Nobody expects you to hand your baby to a random stranger, but it's over the top to think there is nobody on Earth qualified to care for your child other than you and your husband.

My kid didn't have a sitter for the first 2 years of her life because A) I had no family near me B) the cost of daycare left me totally broke and C) I couldn't stand being away from her anymore than I ready was. But if you have lots of money, support, and time with your kids, by all means get a sitter! The rest of us will annoy you with our kids in public so we can still have a life too. [/quote




And there is the reality. Selfish and cheap. Thanks for bringing your baby to the movies.

Cheap? I know this is hard to understand when you don't have to worry about money, but cheap and broke are not the same thing. I barely made my rent payment when my husband lost his job. We took the baby to happy hour, not movies. Wow, you are a nasty person. Must be nice to live in your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Huh? You seriously see no difference between museums, symphonies, theater productions, ballet, even race tracks......and taking an infant into a bar where grown ups are playing darts, drinking beer, hooking up, sucking face, dancing and otherwise having fun with other *grown ups*. Some adult fun is plain not meant for kids. I wouldn't take a baby to an X rated movie either.

Do you think that darts, beer, hooking up, public kissing, and dancing are bad influences on a baby? They will give the baby ideas?

Believe it or not it makes some people uncomfortable to do those things around little kids. That's why they hire sitters for their own kids....

Most people who feel uncomfortable about kids seeing them kiss are generally against PDA anyway. I doubt the people actually kissing in the bar care.

No. I say this as a person who used to go to bars A LOT and used to fool around OFTEN with guys I had just met. Even in my crazy, young, wild days I would NOT wanted to see a little kid where I was partying. The parents who bring babies and toddlers to such venues are generally people with drinking and/or drug problems.