How do you do it with small kids and a high stress job?

[Anonymous]

NP - my husband and I have high demand jobs and a lot of young kids. I felt like you described me a few years ago. I no longer have those feelings. For me, the first thing I did was go to the doctor. They identified some vitamin issues, high blood pressure, and a few other random things. I focused on my health for about six months and feel so much better. My other observation was, no one at worked noticed my slower pace. Before you down shift your career, make sure it is your job and not you putting the pressure on yourself/family. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go away, SAHMs, this is a thread for working moms to give advice. All of you reek of insecurity, and the PP trying to make SAH the same as early retirement is hilarious.

Retirement means no longer working. Oh wait, so that means you agree that SAH is not work? Tell me again about how today's SAHMs are so smart and educated.

Clearly, realizing that "early retirement" isn't any different than any other type of no longer working for pay has sent you into a dizzy of bitterness, which clearly was right below the surface to begin with. I'm the prior poster, a former SAH that made/makes in the six figures before and after my five years at home with my kids. Your insults don't bother me, I'm happy with my own decisions, just pointing out some obvious hypocrisy.

OP, don't be afraid to dial down for a few years if that is what works for you and your family. It is no where near as difficult to ramp back up later as some posters here will have you believe if you do good work.

+1
Another former SAHM in a similar situation. I took seven years off and am now back, working in a similar field. While I didn't come back exactly where I left off, salary-wise (and didn't expect to, either), I'm not far off. In a couple of years, I'll probably have worked my way back to that point.

The WOHM PP is one of the most bitter and ugly personalities to ever rear her head on DCUM - and that's saying a lot. Wouldn't you just hate to work with someone like that (much less live with them).

OP, I agree that taking time off/going PT is a great idea if that's what works for you. It worked beautifully for us.

+2

I spent a decade working 80hrs a week prior to having my first child. My husband supported my decision to scale back when she was born. I scaled back to 20hrs a week working part-time but still keeping my foot in the door. It was our priority that we were able to spend the full 3.5 years prior to school with her. It helped that my husband teleports from home (east coast) to the west coast in LA. If we didn't have that working for us we would have had to do it differently. She's now in the second grade and I work 40 hrs a week around her school schedule.
I'm happy with our choices. I'm proud of us for making it work.

It wasn't all a walk in the park though, we had to live on less income and for me going from being so engaged and busy at work for all those years, to a standstill at home with an infant was a huge adjustment. SAHM's that do it on their own definitely have a hard job. My hardest days at home definitely trump my hard days at work.

I know that it's not possible for all professions to be this flexible scale back the way that I was able to. If you can find a way to do it temporarily I'd say give it a shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go away, SAHMs, this is a thread for working moms to give advice. All of you reek of insecurity, and the PP trying to make SAH the same as early retirement is hilarious.

Retirement means no longer working. Oh wait, so that means you agree that SAH is not work? Tell me again about how today's SAHMs are so smart and educated.

Clearly, realizing that "early retirement" isn't any different than any other type of no longer working for pay has sent you into a dizzy of bitterness, which clearly was right below the surface to begin with. I'm the prior poster, a former SAH that made/makes in the six figures before and after my five years at home with my kids. Your insults don't bother me, I'm happy with my own decisions, just pointing out some obvious hypocrisy.

OP, don't be afraid to dial down for a few years if that is what works for you and your family. It is no where near as difficult to ramp back up later as some posters here will have you believe if you do good work.

+1
Another former SAHM in a similar situation. I took seven years off and am now back, working in a similar field. While I didn't come back exactly where I left off, salary-wise (and didn't expect to, either), I'm not far off. In a couple of years, I'll probably have worked my way back to that point.

The WOHM PP is one of the most bitter and ugly personalities to ever rear her head on DCUM - and that's saying a lot. Wouldn't you just hate to work with someone like that (much less live with them).

OP, I agree that taking time off/going PT is a great idea if that's what works for you. It worked beautifully for us.

+2

I spent a decade working 80hrs a week prior to having my first child. My husband supported my decision to scale back when she was born. I scaled back to 20hrs a week working part-time but still keeping my foot in the door. It was our priority that we were able to spend the full 3.5 years prior to school with her. It helped that my husband teleports from home (east coast) to the west coast in LA. If we didn't have that working for us we would have had to do it differently. She's now in the second grade and I work 40 hrs a week around her school schedule.
I'm happy with our choices. I'm proud of us for making it work.

It wasn't all a walk in the park though, we had to live on less income and for me going from being so engaged and busy at work for all those years, to a standstill at home with an infant was a huge adjustment. SAHM's that do it on their own definitely have a hard job. My hardest days at home definitely trump my hard days at work.

I know that it's not possible for all professions to be this flexible scale back the way that I was able to. If you can find a way to do it temporarily I'd say give it a shot.

Best typo ever. Wish this were actually possible.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to come back and let us know if dialing down is actually possible so we can stop the SAH vs. WOH fire that's popped up.

My guess is that dialing down is not actually possible, or else it would have been done already. The nasty WOH poster wasn't exactly tactful about it, but I agree with her point - it's not helpful to keep suggesting dialing down if it's not an option for OP.

OP, what exactly do you do? I think it's impossible to give good advice without knowing which career field you're in and why exactly it's high stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I throw 3 of the kids in the tub together from 7-8pm basically. maybe 2 or 3 baths per week. not daily- they are not that dirty. oldest child takes shower.
my 2 kids do homework when they get home from school, under direction of nanny, so I just take a half hour to review and help them correct mistakes. I'm trying to make them be as self sufficient as possible. Bedtime routine for toddlers at 8pm-8:30- they share a room. Bedtime routine for older kids from 8:30-9pm- they share a room. DH is actively involved in all this. ( I really sympathize with single parents, so hard to do it alone. It fully consumes both my DH and I.)

That's gross. The kids are dirtier than you think, especially in the summer when they are out running around. And they don't wipe properly, so their bottoms are gross.

And if your DH gets home by 4:30, why doesn't he check the HW. What if they need help with HW? Does the nanny help them?

Nah. My kids get 2-3 baths per week too. They're not stinky or dirty.

[Anonymous]

There's no time like the present. And no present like time.

[Anonymous]

Oops I meant telecommute, no idea how that happened. I wish I could teleport though!