Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position

[Anonymous]

My sister has a disability and can only work part-time, temporary jobs. She lives with my elderly parents and therefore does not have to pay for food, housing or medical expenses. There will come a day when I and her other siblings will have to help her cover these expenses because she has nothing saved. In fact, she has filed for bankruptcy twice. She is always asking my parents and her siblings for money for this or that "need". I know that she gives money to her boyfriend and his family and homeless people. She buys gifts she cannot afford. You can tell her not to do that until you are blue in the face. I think you should not enable people by funding their bad financial decisions. Save your money for the time when they have legitimate needs that must be met. It will surely come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You already know your answer since you feel bad about not giving more so move on.

As for the stupid "just get another for that cost" comments, she must have a strong attachment to the cat. And most pet owners dont see their pets as easily replaceable. I've spent a ludicrous amount of $ to save my dog's life when she fell ill. I'm lucky that I could afford it (may regret it later in life if I fall in hard times) and even luckier that she's still around ; yrs later after knocking on death's door 2x. I wouldn't judge the sil about her wanting to help her pet. It's more of the tackiness to even ask others to help out. This seems to be the wave of the future. It's interesting how times have changed. My parents NEVER spoke of $$ and their situation and still don't, as neither myself or siblings do. Yet it's more common place today to do so and ask for $$. See the GFM thread on Off Topic

The cat is going to die someday, surgery or no. This is not about putting down a pet for no good reason.

[Anonymous]

^^its all about how the individual feels about their pet. I do as much as I could. You may not. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

$6000 for somebody else's cat? Are you crazy? Put that $6000 into retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I feel really sorry for the OP's SIL. The woman had less than 6k in savings, but the cat meant so much to her that she spent it all to save it. What if her disability means she won't ever have a family, or get married? She must have felt so ashamed and small to have to ask her brother, with his wife and family, for money to save her cat.

I have a family member like that and I have to force my kids to be cordial to him, and I pray he doesn't know it. Life is really short, people, and love is not distributed evenly in this world. What if the only thing you had and would ever have to love was a cat, and you knew it?

If she had set up a GoFundMe, I would have contributed more than $50.

Suuure you would

I donated much more than 6k to charity sources last year. I feel sorry for you that you cannot contemplate or consider giving to help others who are less fortunate. I hope I am never the kind of stingy, materialistic person who hoards resources for myself and sneers in incredulity at others who choose to give.

There is a difference between giving 6k to reputable charities (churches, Red Cross, Habitat, etc., etc.) or hell even giving a $5-$10 McDonald's gift certificate to some homeless guy and ... giving $100 to some random dude's GoFundMe who has no connection to you at all, no vetting, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are kind of a cold person.

And you are insane.

[Anonymous]

No, we do not fund the vet's retirement. It sounds like a scam anyhow. No vet should be offering a $6k life saving treatment for a CAT. They should be suggesting a gentle put-down and a new cat...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$6000 for somebody else's cat? Are you crazy? Put that $6000 into retirement.

This thread is BS crazy!

Yes, I get that pets are part of the family, etc. You know what the difference is- you fully accept that pets are going to live and die within a decade (give or take- yes some cats live well into teens but that is not the point). Its different than a person, it just IS.

No.

[Anonymous]

LOVE my dog. He's a huge part of my life and family. I wouldn't spend more than $1500. If it was 6k, I would say he had an amazing, well loved life and that would be it. I would pay for pain medicine to make him comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I feel really sorry for the OP's SIL. The woman had less than 6k in savings, but the cat meant so much to her that she spent it all to save it. What if her disability means she won't ever have a family, or get married? She must have felt so ashamed and small to have to ask her brother, with his wife and family, for money to save her cat.

I have a family member like that and I have to force my kids to be cordial to him, and I pray he doesn't know it. Life is really short, people, and love is not distributed evenly in this world. What if the only thing you had and would ever have to love was a cat, and you knew it?

If she had set up a GoFundMe, I would have contributed more than $50.

Suuure you would

I donated much more than 6k to charity sources last year. I feel sorry for you that you cannot contemplate or consider giving to help others who are less fortunate. I hope I am never the kind of stingy, materialistic person who hoards resources for myself and sneers in incredulity at others who choose to give.

There is a difference between giving 6k to reputable charities (churches, Red Cross, Habitat, etc., etc.) or hell even giving a $5-$10 McDonald's gift certificate to some homeless guy and ... giving $100 to some random dude's GoFundMe who has no connection to you at all, no vetting, etc.

Really? How, exactly? Because you don't have the time or inclination or intellect to determine whether an individual is in need, and so you decide to just throw money at someone else and let them sort through it? You know that there are people working for those charities who basically do just that with the money after you hand it over, right? There isn't a Charity Fairy who sorts out and distributes the funds from the givers. You haven't done much charity work, have you?