Family Member Putting Us in Awkard Position

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same asshole posting all the previous asshole-ish replies?

No, its not. We've had cats, currently own a dog. Just pointing out that it is a really poor choice to spend $6000 on a cat- especially if you can't afford it. I completely understand the bond between pet and owner. But guess what- death is part of life. SIX GRAND on a cat? You're out of your mind. And without knowing the condition / surgery, I question its quality of life going forward.

My vote is euthanize, mourn, and new kitten.

Call me an asshole if you want but OP's sister is making very bad choices due to emotion.

Your $50 contribution WAS generous. There should be no more discussion on that. Have you become financially enmeshed with this person? It seems she feels like she has some rights to your money. That is only appropriate for dependents and spouses. There is no reason to feel guilty for this. Your relative is responsible for this entirely and clearly has some issues with her expectations re your savings. You probably just threw good money away. Every vet I know offers payment plans for those type of procedures.

[Anonymous]

Give the $50 and ignore her hints

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are kind of a cold person.

are you kidding?

I'd bet that poster well skilled in the art of manipulation and leeching off of extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same asshole posting all the previous asshole-ish replies?

No, its not. We've had cats, currently own a dog. Just pointing out that it is a really poor choice to spend $6000 on a cat- especially if you can't afford it. I completely understand the bond between pet and owner. But guess what- death is part of life. SIX GRAND on a cat? You're out of your mind. And without knowing the condition / surgery, I question its quality of life going forward.

My vote is euthanize, mourn, and new kitten.

Call me an asshole if you want but OP's sister is making very bad choices due to emotion.

Your $50 contribution WAS generous. There should be no more discussion on that. Have you become financially enmeshed with this person? It seems she feels like she has some rights to your money. That is only appropriate for dependents and spouses. There is no reason to feel guilty for this. Your relative is responsible for this entirely and clearly has some issues with her expectations re your savings. You probably just threw good money away. Every vet I know offers payment plans for those type of procedures.

Just wanted to point out that I'm the bold, quoted asshole PP and am not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same asshole posting all the previous asshole-ish replies?

No, its not. We've had cats, currently own a dog. Just pointing out that it is a really poor choice to spend $6000 on a cat- especially if you can't afford it. I completely understand the bond between pet and owner. But guess what- death is part of life. SIX GRAND on a cat? You're out of your mind. And without knowing the condition / surgery, I question its quality of life going forward.

My vote is euthanize, mourn, and new kitten.

Call me an asshole if you want but OP's sister is making very bad choices due to emotion.

Look, I agree with you. I personally would euthanize (probably?) if it were my call. But don't you think "kill the cat" sounds a little harsh? This is someone's beloved pet.

[Anonymous]

Give her the $50 for "Kitty" and ignore the heavy hinting.

[Anonymous]

Now I feel really sorry for the OP's SIL. The woman had less than 6k in savings, but the cat meant so much to her that she spent it all to save it. What if her disability means she won't ever have a family, or get married? She must have felt so ashamed and small to have to ask her brother, with his wife and family, for money to save her cat.

I have a family member like that and I have to force my kids to be cordial to him, and I pray he doesn't know it. Life is really short, people, and love is not distributed evenly in this world. What if the only thing you had and would ever have to love was a cat, and you knew it?

If she had set up a GoFundMe, I would have contributed more than $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I agree with you. I personally would euthanize (probably?) if it were my call. But don't you think "kill the cat" sounds a little harsh? This is someone's beloved pet.

FFS- it was half snark / half truth. You haven't been here long if you think that post was a little harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same asshole posting all the previous asshole-ish replies?

No, its not. We've had cats, currently own a dog. Just pointing out that it is a really poor choice to spend $6000 on a cat- especially if you can't afford it. I completely understand the bond between pet and owner. But guess what- death is part of life. SIX GRAND on a cat? You're out of your mind. And without knowing the condition / surgery, I question its quality of life going forward.

My vote is euthanize, mourn, and new kitten.

Call me an asshole if you want but OP's sister is making very bad choices due to emotion.

Look, I agree with you. I personally would euthanize (probably?) if it were my call. But don't you think "kill the cat" sounds a little harsh? This is someone's beloved pet.

I think she did the surgery because she's already broke. What's more broke?
$6000 is a meaningless number if you have almost no money or if you have lots and lots of money. If you are like OP and most of us, $6000 is a decent chunk of change that we could use for a lot of things. No, giving it to her would not put us in the poor house, but it would mean not using it for something else.

[Anonymous]

I would be really offended if one of my ILs asked for this. If my husband gave me the go-ahead to just ignore, that's exactly what I'd do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I feel really sorry for the OP's SIL. The woman had less than 6k in savings, but the cat meant so much to her that she spent it all to save it. What if her disability means she won't ever have a family, or get married? She must have felt so ashamed and small to have to ask her brother, with his wife and family, for money to save her cat.

I have a family member like that and I have to force my kids to be cordial to him, and I pray he doesn't know it. Life is really short, people, and love is not distributed evenly in this world. What if the only thing you had and would ever have to love was a cat, and you knew it?

If she had set up a GoFundMe, I would have contributed more than $50.

I agree with this (except the last line, you are a better person than I am!). But generally yes, this woman doesn't have much, I don't begrudge her wanting to save her cat. That doesn't mean OP is necessarily required to save the day, but I won't knock the woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you just let her pay off her credit card? It's no longer a matter of life and death, the cat has had the surgery already so hopefully she'll be able to keep her companion for a long while. I don't see where you need to get involved any further.

+1
It will be another emergency every year if she knows she can put it on the credit card and you will pay for it. I can't believe you are even considering enabling this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I agree with you. I personally would euthanize (probably?) if it were my call. But don't you think "kill the cat" sounds a little harsh? This is someone's beloved pet.

FFS- it was half snark / half truth. You haven't been here long if you think that post was a little harsh.

No, I'm quite the DCUM regular! I usually enjoy some snark but there were posts before yours that were also snarky and I think the quantity got to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you just let her pay off her credit card? It's no longer a matter of life and death, the cat has had the surgery already so hopefully she'll be able to keep her companion for a long while. I don't see where you need to get involved any further.

+1
It will be another emergency every year if she knows she can put it on the credit card and you will pay for it. I can't believe you are even considering enabling this

Save the rest of your charitable family donation funds for the future when she surely will need financial help to cover her own bills. My parents lived through the Depression and they would never spend that kind of money on our pets.

[Anonymous]

$6000 is way way too much to spend on ANY pet regardless of age or outcome when there are literally millions of healthy pets euthanized every year simply because they had no home. $500-1000 is my absolute max and I really love my cat. I'll leave be my next cat and the cat after that too.