My 18 yo son is a pothead. What now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm not sure what the right thing is to do. My oldest is 8. But I remember well my older cousins getting into pot and basically becoming major losers through college, and I also remember some kids in my (competetive, fancy shmancy) college who were potheads (meaning every day) and by the end of 4 years they seemed... slow.

Then again, there's also the local mom I know and love who uses pot regularly to manage her chronic pain.

At any rate, for a kid who seems to be using pot a helluva lot, I might put it like I would an adult:

I don't like it. I don't like you when you're on it, and I can tell. It strains our relationship, because even though I love you as my kid, I'm don't really LIKE THE POT YOU.

So, let's break up. I'll be your mom. I'll help you go to school. But if you drop out, that's your problem. If you want to go to rehab or counseling, I'll pay for that, too. Definitely consider whether you're using drugs to get rid of bad feelings because fad feelings--unless they're depression or debilitating anxiety or chronic pain--are GOOD FOR YOU. I'll also cover you on my health insurance until you're 25. But I won't pay for a drop out, drugged out kid's apartment, clothes, food, or travel. That's on you.

I think that's what I'd say.

I agree on launching off to college. But I wouldn't wait on providing the preamble above, so he knows what's what come late August.

LOL, go ahead and make this speech so your kid can laugh in your face.

PP, you have a lot of learning to do. You don't talk to teenagers like 8 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm not sure what the right thing is to do. My oldest is 8. But I remember well my older cousins getting into pot and basically becoming major losers through college, and I also remember some kids in my (competetive, fancy shmancy) college who were potheads (meaning every day) and by the end of 4 years they seemed... slow.

Then again, there's also the local mom I know and love who uses pot regularly to manage her chronic pain.

At any rate, for a kid who seems to be using pot a helluva lot, I might put it like I would an adult:

I don't like it. I don't like you when you're on it, and I can tell. It strains our relationship, because even though I love you as my kid, I'm don't really LIKE THE POT YOU.

So, let's break up. I'll be your mom. I'll help you go to school. But if you drop out, that's your problem. If you want to go to rehab or counseling, I'll pay for that, too. Definitely consider whether you're using drugs to get rid of bad feelings because fad feelings--unless they're depression or debilitating anxiety or chronic pain--are GOOD FOR YOU. I'll also cover you on my health insurance until you're 25. But I won't pay for a drop out, drugged out kid's apartment, clothes, food, or travel. That's on you.

I think that's what I'd say.

I agree on launching off to college. But I wouldn't wait on providing the preamble above, so he knows what's what come late August.

Talk to him now about how pot is bad for a teenage brain. He's got to wait til he's 21. When you start the conversation early, it sinks in. It's not a guarantee, of course, but it helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Please, provide the correlation between pancreatic cancer and marijuana smoking. We're all ears.

Read what I wrote again. I said it's possible and people are doing research. We freak the hell out about chemical sunscreens, but pot is OK to smoke.

Marijuana is a plant, idiot. Synapses failing, much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not true. The 17 year old on my street just had a drug bust in the house. Was arrested. His parents didn't put him out on the street.

Soon enough society won't have to worry about "drug busts" for marijuana. Plus, "drug busts" at parents' homes are extremely rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Please, provide the correlation between pancreatic cancer and marijuana smoking. We're all ears.

Read what I wrote again. I said it's possible and people are doing research. We freak the hell out about chemical sunscreens, but pot is OK to smoke.

Marijuana is a plant, idiot. Synapses failing, much?

So is tobacco. Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Marijuana isn't injected with tens of thousands of addictive and carcinogenic chemicals like tobacco. This place is truly like leading the thirsty to water, except they're too stupid to drink the water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marijuana isn't injected with tens of thousands of addictive and carcinogenic chemicals like tobacco. This place is truly like leading the thirsty to water, except they're too stupid to drink the water.

Actually, pot has higher concentrations of known carcinogens than unfiltered tobacco does. It's hard, however, to study its effects because so many people who smoke pot also smoke tobacco. And many won't admit to illegal use much less volunteer for studies. As it becomes legalized, we'll get better studies done.

[Anonymous]

I smoked pot frequently as a teenager, graduated top if my class, attended a top university, and have been a priductive member of society. I stopped smoking more than 15 years ago.

I would relax.

[Anonymous]

This was me when I was 18. I'm now 28, had a successful college experience and am arguably well ahead of my peers professionally.

My parents took a fairly hands off approach, and I really appreciate the mistakes they let me make. There would have been no way to get through to me at 18. Reality and the real world didn't exist yet.

I would say as long as your son is respecting your basic rules (meeting curfew, family dinners, not in trouble at school) I wouldn't worry about it. The best thing you can do is remind him of the legal implications of getting caught and remind him to be smart about it.

[Anonymous]

40 years ago we were prescribing cigarettes to pregnant mothers to cure morning sickness.

Whenever someone tells me how comparatively harmless weed is, that is what I bring up.

Weed is harmless so far as we know, but most of what we know comes from a highly biased vocal minority that is already abusing weed. Until I see comprehensive scientific studies done by 100% non-biased academics, nobody under my roof will be smoking weed, and I will not support legalization. We dont need to make the same mistake we made with tobacco again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:40 years ago we were prescribing cigarettes to pregnant mothers to cure morning sickness.

Whenever someone tells me how comparatively harmless weed is, that is what I bring up.

Weed is harmless so far as we know, but most of what we know comes from a highly biased vocal minority that is already abusing weed. Until I see comprehensive scientific studies done by 100% non-biased academics, nobody under my roof will be smoking weed, and I will not support legalization. We dont need to make the same mistake we made with tobacco again.

What are your views on alcohol and its' legal status in America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, pot has higher concentrations of known carcinogens than unfiltered tobacco does.

Complete garbage. Do you have any evidence to back up this assertion? And save your "We don't have enough studies on this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, pot has higher concentrations of known carcinogens than unfiltered tobacco does.

Please, list off these "known carcinogens" in marijuana. We'll be waiting.

[Anonymous]

Isn't there a difference between a "pothead" and a casual user? Wouldn't our responses be different if Teen was spending most days stoned and blowing off work and reaponsibilities vs partying evenings and weekends with kids he won't be hanging with in the fall?
I think the response needs to be proportionate with how big a problem it is. A delicate balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, pot has higher concentrations of known carcinogens than unfiltered tobacco does.

Please, list off these "known carcinogens" in marijuana. We'll be waiting.

NP here. And a smoker.

Are you really trying to claim that inhaling smoke is fine???

Cannabis smoke contains many of the same cancer causing substances (carcinogens) as tobacco - at least 50 of them. http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/cancer-questions/does-smoking-cannabis-cause-cancer