My 18 yo son is a pothead. What now?

[Anonymous]

My 18 yo son is a recent high school graduate and apparently a very frequent pot user. His older sister broke the news that this has been a long term habit. He has always been a bit high maintenance, but nothing like the last 18 months. He is unpleasant to be around, always annoyed with anything we say or do, etc. He has been in therapy for 6 months, but claims to be totally done with pot which we know is a lie. Our therapist indicates that we have to trust him and take him at face value. Our therapist also tells us that we need to try to get through the summer and try to launch him off to college with as little drama as possible. Our therapist says do not drug test him and do not search his room. See the bigger picture (relationship-wise). It's only pot. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I think the therapist is NOT your son's parent. I'd drug test if I wanted to

[Anonymous]

I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

[Anonymous]

Drug testing will be bad for your relationship.

How frequent? Does he smoke when he's hanging out with his friends? Or does he smoke solo before class etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

Needle in the haystack my friend.

[Anonymous]

How is school/ work attendance and performance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the therapist is NOT your son's parent. I'd drug test if I wanted to

Yes, of course. Then he starts smoking synthetic marijuana to beat your drug test and REALLY fucks himself up.

Another brilliant prohibitionist here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is school/ work attendance and performance?

This is really the most important part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is school/ work attendance and performance?

This is really the most important part.

The other behaviors are typical of teenagers

[Anonymous]

What's the point of drug testing him if you know he's smoking weed? Sounds like a waste of hurting the relationship with your son. Get a new therapist though. I disagree with all their advice.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Poor school attendance and performance. Fine work attendance. Just a very difficult person to live with. He would not change therapists. We are lucky he goes to this one. She thinks high octane rebellion, senioritis on steroids, etc. He got into a great school, his grades took a dive at the end.

[Anonymous]

Enough to have his acceptance rescinded?

[Anonymous]

OP here - hope not.

[Anonymous]

I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.