How do we get out of this circular argument? Joint DH and DW post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never texted someone a hundred times in a day.
Is that common to those [of you] in the dating/cheating world?

Sounds crazy, cheating or not. What are all those messages about?!

[Anonymous]

seriously -- go to couples therapy. what do you really expect from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH, what are the details about you sleeping at the OW's house? How many times? What were the sleeping accommodations? You did not sleep in the same bed? Was there any physical contact of any kind?

How did it happen that you slept at her house? Did she invite you? Why?

DH says: I was traveling out of town, we were doing business and I asked if I could crash at her place. I slept in a guest bedroom. Since my wife didn't know about her, I lied and said I was at a hotel. Nothing happened. Another time, I was taking my son on a trip and our travel accommodations at another friend's house didn't work out. It was A major holiday break, so I asked if we could stay at her place. I told my wife we were at a hotel. Nothing happened. My wife couldn't get off work to go on that vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH wants to say to this forum that the stepson was doing other drugs too (exstasy, hookah, Drinking). DH says stepson did crack, Stepson says he never did. DW says Stepson now works at a place that drug tests and has never failed a drug test and moved out.

DH wants to add that no one thinks he's innocent because they don't know him and they don't know how awful DW is and how unreasonable she is.

DW says that's a great reason to leave, but doesn't justify the lying.

And this is another example of why this is circular.........

I post previously about how to save this relationship, but after this update...there isn't anything to save. DW--why would you want to stay with someone who thinks you are awful and unreasonable? You need therapy just to figure out why you would stay with someone who thinks that about you. Does not matter if he has stuck his penis in her vagina or just talked inapropriately. He thinks you are AWFUL and UNREASONABLE!!! Let's play a game here and assume you are awful and unreasonable--why is DH with you? If you are so horrible, why would he be with you? What is wrong with him that he stays with such an awful, unreasonable person? Maybe it's because you bring money, or free live in maid or some other thing that he can use, then he can get his nookie on the side with a clear conscience.

Why isn't there something inside of you that just rears up and tells him to Fuck Off. No person ever should put up with someone who thinks such horrible things about you.

[Anonymous]

DW, your DH cheated on and is now talking shit about you on a public forum, and you're allowing it.

You must be out of your goddam mind.

DTMF before he wastes any more of your life.

[Anonymous]

Jesus Christ, get off DCUM and sort your lives out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH, what are the details about you sleeping at the OW's house? How many times? What were the sleeping accommodations? You did not sleep in the same bed? Was there any physical contact of any kind?

How did it happen that you slept at her house? Did she invite you? Why?

DH says: I was traveling out of town, we were doing business and I asked if I could crash at her place. I slept in a guest bedroom. Since my wife didn't know about her, I lied and said I was at a hotel. Nothing happened. Another time, I was taking my son on a trip and our travel accommodations at another friend's house didn't work out. It was A major holiday break, so I asked if we could stay at her place. I told my wife we were at a hotel. Nothing happened. My wife couldn't get off work to go on that vacation.

Cool story, bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH seems to be trying, DW doesn't. Marriage counselor would work well here.

Divorce HER now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH seems to be trying, DW doesn't. Marriage counselor would work well here.

Divorce HER now.

Yes, please - she deserves better than to stay with an unrepentant cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH seems to be trying, DW doesn't. Marriage counselor would work well here.

Divorce HER now.

Yes, please - she deserves better than to stay with an unrepentant cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW, your DH cheated on and is now talking shit about you on a public forum, and you're allowing it.

You must be out of your goddam mind.

DTMF before he wastes any more of your life.

Oh please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW, your DH cheated on and is now talking shit about you on a public forum, and you're allowing it.

You must be out of your goddam mind.

DTMF before he wastes any more of your life.

x2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH, what are the details about you sleeping at the OW's house? How many times? What were the sleeping accommodations? You did not sleep in the same bed? Was there any physical contact of any kind?

How did it happen that you slept at her house? Did she invite you? Why?

DH says: I was traveling out of town, we were doing business and I asked if I could crash at her place. I slept in a guest bedroom. Since my wife didn't know about her, I lied and said I was at a hotel. Nothing happened. Another time, I was taking my son on a trip and our travel accommodations at another friend's house didn't work out. It was A major holiday break, so I asked if we could stay at her place. I told my wife we were at a hotel. Nothing happened. My wife couldn't get off work to go on that vacation.

Okay, wow, you lied. For me as a DW that would be the stumbling block to ever moving on. You didn't want the inconvenience and unpleasantness of telling your DW the truth, so you denied her the right to know the facts of each situation and make her own decisions from there. As if you thought she was lesser than you somehow -- less human, less important, less real. To me this is worse than if something had happened and you had told the truth about it.