s/o what warrants a spanking in your house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, I don't know. What warrants your husband smacking you around a little?

This line of reasoning is ridiculous and simple-minded. By your reasoning no parent should implement any punishment. After all, does your husband get to put you in time out? Take away electronics? Early bed?

Not ridiculous. It's about one human hitting another human that they are supposed to love.

it's called tough love. I don't agree with spanking for kids under 5, but when an 8 yr old repeatedly speaks disrespectfully to a parent, rolls their eyes at you when you are talking to them calmly, or ask them to do something, and no amount of privileges being taken away help... WHACK on the bottom worked fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any and all violence against children is wrong. Spanking is physical violence against innocent, defenseless, helpless children. Anyone who tries to justify violence against children has very twisted morals. You hit your child? You are a bad parent every time you do.

As a nanny who was repeatedly kick, hit and bitten by an unruly 9 year old (who had parents that didn't believe in saying no or using any negative discipline, only positive discipline like rewards charts), I completely disagree. Children are not defenseless as they get older; their defenses are simply weaker. Now, I'm not advocating spanking that child, as I'm sure it wouldn't have worked given what I know of the child's personality, but there has to be some discipline, and it has to be up to the parent to decide what works best for the child and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, I don't know. What warrants your husband smacking you around a little?

This line of reasoning is ridiculous and simple-minded. By your reasoning no parent should implement any punishment. After all, does your husband get to put you in time out? Take away electronics? Early bed?

Not ridiculous. It's about one human hitting another human that they are supposed to love.

it's called tough love. I don't agree with spanking for kids under 5, but when an 8 yr old repeatedly speaks disrespectfully to a parent, rolls their eyes at you when you are talking to them calmly, or ask them to do something, and no amount of privileges being taken away help... WHACK on the bottom worked fine.

Yes, I believe the tough love defense is being used daily in courts across America during domestic abuse trials, battery hearings, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

How many decades ago was this? My father was a pediatrician and very critical of parents who spanked.

My sister is a pediatrican who spanks right now.

I really doubt it. Nice try though.

That child is now 24. PP you can doubt it if you need to, it doesn't change the facts. That pediatrician also believed in medicating every child suspected of having ADHD. No testing or confirmation required, just give them Ritalin.[/quote

Well, the spanking is wrong, but the medication thing is correct. Parents who refuse to medicate their children should have their children removed from their custody. It's cruel.

Um, you missed the point. PP said that the ped didn't test or confirm, just prescribed Ritalin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant and don't have a kid yet but in my house spanking happened but extraordinarily rarely. Generally a result of a 'you just scared me to death' moments.

I suppose they were 'out of control' in those moments but there is something about seeing such fear in your parents eyes that convinces you that what you were doing really was dangerous. MUCH more convincing than 'sitting me down to talk to me about the rules of the pool' as some pp suggested. When used so sparingly it was very effective on us. And none of us feel traumatized by it.

You really think seeing the fear in a parents eyes and face, maybe their tears, getting yelled at, getting gripped hard by the arm and yanked away from the pool...all of that wouldn't be enough but the child also needs to be spanked? Yeah okay you have no clue how children's minds work then. It doesn't matter what the situation is there is ALWAYS another way. One that doesn't involve hitting an innocent child.

Well I'm talking about my personal experience as a child and my thought prices as I recall it. Something I'm pretty sure I'm more an expert on than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my kids, but I was regularly spanked by my mom growing up. Her reasons for spanking were safety issues and major, major bad behavior (e.g., one time I drew a huge drawing in pen on the wall after repeatedly being told not to draw on the wall). I am not scarred at all by spankings and actually have no ill feelings towards my mom about the spankings. My memories of the spankings are not scary or upsetting. But I think everyone and every situation is individual - my mom spanked just with her hand (no belts, etc. - where I grew up, that was considered getting whipped) and it honestly didn't hurt. Most everyone I knew growing up was spanked occasionally, so it was kind of the norm and thus I didn't think it was a big deal. In fact, my mom spanked me in public at least once - I remember grabbing a bunch of glass containers from a grocery store shelf while she was putting something in the cart and I dropped them, sending them crashing down and getting glass everywhere. She took me to the end of the aisle, checked that I was okay (no glass, cuts), and gave me a spanking right there. I am sure this would not be condoned these days, but that incident doesn't bug me. I knew people who were hit using belts, switches, etc., and we all thought that was abnormal and abusive.

So if I wasn't upset by spanking growing up, why don't I spank? My husband is against it so we agreed not to do it. We use time-outs, taking away privileges related to the bad behavior, etc.

This is such a polarizing topic, almost as bad as the breastfeeding v. formula debates.

So your mother spanked you in public for accidentally breaking some containers? And you think this was okay? Wow.

PP here. I don't really view it as an accident. I was told not to grab things and I intentionally went ahead and tried to grab some jars of pickles because I wanted them, and I couldn't handle them. So, I was basically defying my mom, who was trying to stop me from doing something dumb. And no, I am not traumatized by this.

Ah. The fact that your mother told you not to do this & you intentionally disobeyed her very much changes things! I don't spank but this would definitely warrant some form of punishment if one of my kids did it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

How many decades ago was this? My father was a pediatrician and very critical of parents who spanked.

My sister is a pediatrican who spanks right now.

I really doubt it. Nice try though.

That child is now 24. PP you can doubt it if you need to, it doesn't change the facts. That pediatrician also believed in medicating every child suspected of having ADHD. No testing or confirmation required, just give them Ritalin.[/quote

Well, the spanking is wrong, but the medication thing is correct. Parents who refuse to medicate their children should have their children removed from their custody. It's cruel.

Um, you missed the point. PP said that the ped didn't test or confirm, just prescribed Ritalin.

Sounds like a terrible pediatrician! I hope PP found a better doctor for her kid(s) eventually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any and all violence against children is wrong. Spanking is physical violence against innocent, defenseless, helpless children. Anyone who tries to justify violence against children has very twisted morals. You hit your child? You are a bad parent every time you do.

As a nanny who was repeatedly kick, hit and bitten by an unruly 9 year old (who had parents that didn't believe in saying no or using any negative discipline, only positive discipline like rewards charts), I completely disagree. Children are not defenseless as they get older; their defenses are simply weaker. Now, I'm not advocating spanking that child, as I'm sure it wouldn't have worked given what I know of the child's personality, but there has to be some discipline, and it has to be up to the parent to decide what works best for the child and family.

Ridiculous...you said it yourself, the reason why the child acted the way he/she did because his parents "didn't believe in saying no or using any negative discipline, only positive discipline like rewards charts"...that child (or any other child) doesn't need to be hit. Children need discipline but not physical violence used against them. And no, no child can defend themselves against an adult. Even suggesting that makes you sound completely clueless and unbelievably ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant and don't have a kid yet but in my house spanking happened but extraordinarily rarely. Generally a result of a 'you just scared me to death' moments.

I suppose they were 'out of control' in those moments but there is something about seeing such fear in your parents eyes that convinces you that what you were doing really was dangerous. MUCH more convincing than 'sitting me down to talk to me about the rules of the pool' as some pp suggested. When used so sparingly it was very effective on us. And none of us feel traumatized by it.

You really think seeing the fear in a parents eyes and face, maybe their tears, getting yelled at, getting gripped hard by the arm and yanked away from the pool...all of that wouldn't be enough but the child also needs to be spanked? Yeah okay you have no clue how children's minds work then. It doesn't matter what the situation is there is ALWAYS another way. One that doesn't involve hitting an innocent child.

Well I'm talking about my personal experience as a child and my thought prices as I recall it. Something I'm pretty sure I'm more an expert on than you.

The point is that you haven't gotten what you need to understand without getting hit. That does not mean there was no other way it just means your parents didn't use that other way. That's not quite the same now is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, I don't know. What warrants your husband smacking you around a little?

This line of reasoning is ridiculous and simple-minded. By your reasoning no parent should implement any punishment. After all, does your husband get to put you in time out? Take away electronics? Early bed?

Not ridiculous. It's about one human hitting another human that they are supposed to love.

it's called tough love. I don't agree with spanking for kids under 5, but when an 8 yr old repeatedly speaks disrespectfully to a parent, rolls their eyes at you when you are talking to them calmly, or ask them to do something, and no amount of privileges being taken away help... WHACK on the bottom worked fine.

And research has consistently shown those tough love programs have the opposite effect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, I don't know. What warrants your husband smacking you around a little?

This line of reasoning is ridiculous and simple-minded. By your reasoning no parent should implement any punishment. After all, does your husband get to put you in time out? Take away electronics? Early bed?

Not ridiculous. It's about one human hitting another human that they are supposed to love.

it's called tough love. I don't agree with spanking for kids under 5, but when an 8 yr old repeatedly speaks disrespectfully to a parent, rolls their eyes at you when you are talking to them calmly, or ask them to do something, and no amount of privileges being taken away help... WHACK on the bottom worked fine.

And research has consistently shown those tough love programs have the opposite effect

What research? Could you link it?

[Anonymous]

I spanked once. My 3 yo would unbuckle every time I got on a street where I could not stop. I would pull over and buckle him. Then again, and again, then I spanked him... i mean hit him.

Do I teach him to not hit? No. In school, he (or his friend) has been bullied on multiple occasions ... I teach him to tell the child to stop, to tell a teacher, to tell the principal, then to smack the kid upside his head. It has worked on every occasion and probably knocked the kid straight.

Also, he was attacked at a summer camp and he threw the kid to the floor and held him down until a counselor could come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spanked once. My 3 yo would unbuckle every time I got on a street where I could not stop. I would pull over and buckle him. Then again, and again, then I spanked him... i mean hit him.

Do I teach him to not hit? No. In school, he (or his friend) has been bullied on multiple occasions ... I teach him to tell the child to stop, to tell a teacher, to tell the principal, then to smack the kid upside his head. It has worked on every occasion and probably knocked the kid straight.

Also, he was attacked at a summer camp and he threw the kid to the floor and held him down until a counselor could come.

Is this an actual serious post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spanked once. My 3 yo would unbuckle every time I got on a street where I could not stop. I would pull over and buckle him. Then again, and again, then I spanked him... i mean hit him.

Do I teach him to not hit? No. In school, he (or his friend) has been bullied on multiple occasions ... I teach him to tell the child to stop, to tell a teacher, to tell the principal, then to smack the kid upside his head. It has worked on every occasion and probably knocked the kid straight.

Also, he was attacked at a summer camp and he threw the kid to the floor and held him down until a counselor could come.

Is this an actual serious post?

Yes. This no tolerance BS only helps bullies.

[Anonymous]

I've spanked for the unbuckling thing, too. We did lots of warnings and discussions to no avail. At one point when we got home and I realized that he had unbuckled yet again, we went inside, sat down, I pulled his pants down, and spanked him a few times. I never had the unbuckling issue again.