s/o what warrants a spanking in your house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't spank. I didn't think any normal middle class, educated parents did these days. Certainly no one I know would confess to it.

We're educated and upper middle class, and we spank. We know a number of families who also will, to varying degrees.

Do you live in the DC area? We have 4 children, pre-teen on down to 3, and have known many families. Not one has ever admitted that they spanked their kids. Not one family.

yes, DC area.

[Anonymous]

My mom used to spank me with a wooden stick - one time it was metal because she couldn't find the wooden one. Oddly I really was a good obedient child who occasionally didn't replace the toilet paper or cleaned up my room, etc. I think she was dealing with a lot of anger of her own. I have always been terrified of her and used to think that I was adopted or was a child that my dad had from an affair, and that's why she hated me. Many of my depressed childhood daydreams were about running away or committing suicide (because then she'll be sorry - or happy that I'm gone). Years later I am still suffering from depression and it has always negatively affected my life and all of my relationships - might be why I have very disobedient kids. But still I will never spank them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't spank. I didn't think any normal middle class, educated parents did these days. Certainly no one I know would confess to it.

We're educated and upper middle class, and we spank. We know a number of families who also will, to varying degrees.

Do you live in the DC area? We have 4 children, pre-teen on down to 3, and have known many families. Not one has ever admitted that they spanked their kids. Not one family.

We live in MoCo. Professionals, upper/middle HHI, and we've spanked a handful of times. I know another family similar to our's, and they've spanked their kid a handful of times, too. I've never hid it. In conversation about disciplining, I've stated that we've spanked. No one batted an eye on the outside. Maybe they were shocked on the inside, IDK, I don't care.

As a PP stated, you have to know yourself and your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to spank me with a wooden stick - one time it was metal because she couldn't find the wooden one. Oddly I really was a good obedient child who occasionally didn't replace the toilet paper or cleaned up my room, etc. I think she was dealing with a lot of anger of her own. I have always been terrified of her and used to think that I was adopted or was a child that my dad had from an affair, and that's why she hated me. Many of my depressed childhood daydreams were about running away or committing suicide (because then she'll be sorry - or happy that I'm gone). Years later I am still suffering from depression and it has always negatively affected my life and all of my relationships - might be why I have very disobedient kids. But still I will never spank them.

I'm sorry you were traumatized, but I think you also realize that there were other things going on here than a run of the mill spanking.

I don't agree with spanking for every little offense, but I don't think all spankings are considered abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to spank me with a wooden stick - one time it was metal because she couldn't find the wooden one. Oddly I really was a good obedient child who occasionally didn't replace the toilet paper or cleaned up my room, etc. I think she was dealing with a lot of anger of her own. I have always been terrified of her and used to think that I was adopted or was a child that my dad had from an affair, and that's why she hated me. Many of my depressed childhood daydreams were about running away or committing suicide (because then she'll be sorry - or happy that I'm gone). Years later I am still suffering from depression and it has always negatively affected my life and all of my relationships - might be why I have very disobedient kids. But still I will never spank them.

Sorry - I realize my post went off the original question... This thread brought back some painful memories and I felt like sharing. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to spank me with a wooden stick - one time it was metal because she couldn't find the wooden one. Oddly I really was a good obedient child who occasionally didn't replace the toilet paper or cleaned up my room, etc. I think she was dealing with a lot of anger of her own. I have always been terrified of her and used to think that I was adopted or was a child that my dad had from an affair, and that's why she hated me. Many of my depressed childhood daydreams were about running away or committing suicide (because then she'll be sorry - or happy that I'm gone). Years later I am still suffering from depression and it has always negatively affected my life and all of my relationships - might be why I have very disobedient kids. But still I will never spank them.

Sorry - I realize my post went off the original question... This thread brought back some painful memories and I felt like sharing. Thanks.

np. That's understandable. Your mom was out of control, and I don't think that's what anyone here would be suggesting. I'm sorry that's what you went through, because you didn't deserve it.

[Anonymous]

We don't spank in our household. We try to model good behavior, self-control, and non-violence for our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

How many decades ago was this? My father was a pediatrician and very critical of parents who spanked.

My sister is a pediatrican who spanks right now.

I really doubt it. Nice try though.

[Anonymous]

Any and all violence against children is wrong. Spanking is physical violence against innocent, defenseless, helpless children. Anyone who tries to justify violence against children has very twisted morals. You hit your child? You are a bad parent every time you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ive read some of the spanking thread, Im of the mindset with a 3yo that an occasioanal swipe on the butt is ok but nothing more than that.
Im curious for those of you that spank, what did you spank for? and did you kid do the same thing again?
had you tried time out or loss of privilege first and it didnt work?

I'll tell you what warrants a spanking in my house:

DH and I get a little tipsy and start feeling frisky.

That's the only time I can envision spanking happening in my house.

[Anonymous]

Husband is a pediatrician. We spank--although rarely, and never in anger. Spanking is common in his culture, where no one blinks an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a pediatrician. We spank--although rarely, and never in anger. Spanking is common in his culture, where no one blinks an eye.

What a nasty, twisted culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a pediatrician. We spank--although rarely, and never in anger. Spanking is common in his culture, where no one blinks an eye.

Then your husband is just another one of those people who are not properly informed and hurt their children while pretending to parent them. Ever check the long list of countries where spanking is outlawed? Ever wonder why most developed countries are on that list? Ever wonder why more and more countries are added to that list? Not making corporal punishment illegal is one of the big flaws of the American system. America who claims to be leader in so many fields, number one, land of the free blah blah. Sucks to be a kid here if your parents hurt you.

[Anonymous]

We have spanked 5 times (3 kids, oldest 8, youngest 5):

1) when the older 2 wandered away from us on a city we were visiting and we ran around yelling for them convinced they had been kidnapped (turned out they decided to follow an animal rather than stay where we told them - on a bench near car while we got younger one out).

2) when the middle one was clowning around in front of a repair man and swiped the repair man's rear thinking he was being funny.

3) when they were all wound up and one in particular was being totally disrespectful (repeat clowning around despite multiple warnings)

4&5) my younger claims I "smacked him" twice in the car. I remember pushing him away and swatted his arm when he took off his seatbelt and was poking me (while I was driving) - he got a long lecture for this one as well.

As you can see, we've used spanking sparingly. The only one I feel maybe was too much was #3 but then again they were not listening to us otherwise at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

How many decades ago was this? My father was a pediatrician and very critical of parents who spanked.

My sister is a pediatrican who spanks right now.

I really doubt it. Nice try though.

That child is now 24. PP you can doubt it if you need to, it doesn't change the facts. That pediatrician also believed in medicating every child suspected of having ADHD. No testing or confirmation required, just give them Ritalin.