Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

[Anonymous]

They're asking for money or a gift card. It's really tacky and unfortunately becoming more common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is not making South Asian cultures look good at all.

I don't think that the acceptability of registering for waffle makers makes mainstream US culture look so great either. (For what it's worth, we weren't going to register, but we did in response to several people who were offended by our non-registering.)

Were you expecting cash gifts before you set up a registry?

No. We weren't not expecting them, either. We basically weren't thinking about wedding presents, because we didn't need anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't get married until late 20's and early 30's these days. They neither need nor want a toaster. I will never understand why a registry is acceptable but stating you want cash isn't. We did a registry with about 5 items on it. Most people got the idea, and the dinosaurs gave us some weird gift they decided we should have.

Maybe you should not invite the "dinosaurs" to your fundraising events in the future.

I was given a ceramic cross from my fathers great aunt wrapped in a plastic target bag. My husband and I are not Christian. We were also given 2 waffle makers, despite the fact that neither of us eat flour. These were not thoughtful gifts with us in mind. It wasn't a fundraising event, but I think gifts should be for the people you give them to, and welcome any information that helps me give them what they want. You all can stand on your soap boxes, but there really is no rhyme or reason to this antiquated rule. You want to give a gift they like right? They told you want they'd like. Where is the harm?

I received similar odd items, some homemade. I was grateful and thankful for each one, even if it never got used. The thought was there. I'm grateful they took the time to buy or make something just for me and dh.

What thought is there when my aunt, who knows I am Buddhist, gives me a ceramic cross wrapped in a plastic bag? If she did buy it just for me, the only thought was a passive aggressive one. More than likely she grabbed some junk from her house and wrapped in the bag, which she gave us without a card.

[Anonymous]

I am curious if this is unique to Indians or do other cultures ask/expect cash as a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

They google. "Jane smith wedding registry"

Bam it's there. Same way they figure out baby registries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

They ask someone! Registry info is shared word-of-mouth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll see all of your "tackiness" and raise you a friend who started a Go Fund Me account to pay for her wedding. Serious as a heart attack about this.

yikes. and i thought this was bad- a friend created a website showing the home renovations they wanted to do an the approx cost. so, you could click here and contribute a sink, vanity and toilet! or click there to bump out the kitchen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

They ask someone! Registry info is shared word-of-mouth!

(Or, yes, in this day and age... They can Google. There is NO NEED to put it on the invitation.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

They google. "Jane smith wedding registry"

Bam it's there. Same way they figure out baby registries.

So it has only been tacky in the past 10 years? The internet changed wedding protocols?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

I think this is splitting hairs - and I am someone who finds the "no boxed gifts" thing tacky.

The registry may not be stated but there is an expectation that gifts will be forthcoming which is why there is a registry in the first place. If someone did not give any gift at all - absent some instruction requesting no gifts - that would also be something that would draw attention and criticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

put it on your hotel, guest info website, or it spreads by word of mouth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Legit question- how do guests know where you're registered?

It used to be that they were supposed to ask the bride's mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

m

For the hundredth time, putting registry info on the invitation is ALSO TACKY.

I think this is splitting hairs - and I am someone who finds the "no boxed gifts" thing tacky.

The registry may not be stated but there is an expectation that gifts will be forthcoming which is why there is a registry in the first place. If someone did not give any gift at all - absent some instruction requesting no gifts - that would also be something that would draw attention and criticism.

a gift is not required. sometimes weddings are expensive. many of my friends did not give gifts. i don't care. i would rather they come and have fun with me sans gift rather than not come but send a gift.