Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is a registry okay? Isn't is basically saying, "we'd like these items as gifts, if you are so inclined?" Why is it not okay to say, "we'd prefer cash as a gift, if you are so inclined?" If people don't want to give a gift, that's fine, and I might appreciate that more than the 3 waffle makers and crystal vases, and other nonsense that I don't need.

Doesn't a registry solve that problem?

It would if people bothered to follow the registry. We got several gifts that weren't on the registry. I wouldn't be surprised if a couple had been re-gifted to us.

But this could happen with the "no boxed gifts" stricture where people may still give boxed waffle makers?

[Anonymous]

The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess we will next see invitations asking for contributions towards the honeymoon.

Too late, I'm sure that's already happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is not making South Asian cultures look good at all.

I don't think that the acceptability of registering for waffle makers makes mainstream US culture look so great either. (For what it's worth, we weren't going to register, but we did in response to several people who were offended by our non-registering.)

Were you expecting cash gifts before you set up a registry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is a registry okay? Isn't is basically saying, "we'd like these items as gifts, if you are so inclined?" Why is it not okay to say, "we'd prefer cash as a gift, if you are so inclined?" If people don't want to give a gift, that's fine, and I might appreciate that more than the 3 waffle makers and crystal vases, and other nonsense that I don't need.

Doesn't a registry solve that problem?

It would if people bothered to follow the registry. We got several gifts that weren't on the registry. I wouldn't be surprised if a couple had been re-gifted to us.

But this could happen with the "no boxed gifts" stricture where people may still give boxed waffle makers?

Of course. No force on Earth shall stop boxed waffle makers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is a registry okay? Isn't is basically saying, "we'd like these items as gifts, if you are so inclined?" Why is it not okay to say, "we'd prefer cash as a gift, if you are so inclined?" If people don't want to give a gift, that's fine, and I might appreciate that more than the 3 waffle makers and crystal vases, and other nonsense that I don't need.

Doesn't a registry solve that problem?

It would if people bothered to follow the registry. We got several gifts that weren't on the registry. I wouldn't be surprised if a couple had been re-gifted to us.

This. Some people are going to do what they're going to do. All of the hand wringing over this is beyond stupid. If you give a crap about the couple, why does it matter what they say in their invitation? Im not surprised to see so many of you just looking for a reason to get your panties in a bunch. If you care about them, give a gift they would like, which is probably what they asked for, and if the wording on the invitation is more important than your affection for the couple, save them the headache and don't go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The registry is so that people know your china/silver patterns or it's for people who would like a suggestion. People are not required to use it, indeed they are not required to get you a gift at all! So many ungrateful, entitled people here.

Saying cash gifts only, or no boxed gifts is also just giving people an idea of what you'd like. Its not a demand for gifts, just saying if you'd like to give one, this is what we would like. Absolutely no different than a registry. If a registry was just for matching China patterns they'd be a lot shorter.

[Anonymous]

As tacky as the request is, cash is easier anyway. Or a gift card.

[Anonymous]

^^It does come across as somewhat tacky don't you agree?

[Anonymous]

Give them a gift in a bag...problem solved.

Seriously, if you care about the couple, stop being so petty. Just go to the wedding and graciously give a money gift and be done with it. Of course it's tacky, but life is short people. There are bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I was given a ceramic cross from my fathers great aunt wrapped in a plastic target bag. My husband and I are not Christian. We were also given 2 waffle makers, despite the fact that neither of us eat flour. These were not thoughtful gifts with us in mind. It wasn't a fundraising event, but I think gifts should be for the people you give them to, and welcome any information that helps me give them what they want. You all can stand on your soap boxes, but there really is no rhyme or reason to this antiquated rule. You want to give a gift they like right? They told you want they'd like. Where is the harm?

We received a Christian marriage manual from my husband's uncle and aunt. We're also not Christian. Maybe we should have put "No Religious Marriage Manuals" on our invitations.

There is an etiquette to giving gifts just as there is to receiving them. One of those rules is that the gift should be given with the receiver in mind. Acknowledging that shitty gifts exist does not make someone a bad person.

[Anonymous]

I'll see all of your "tackiness" and raise you a friend who started a Go Fund Me account to pay for her wedding. Serious as a heart attack about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't get married until late 20's and early 30's these days. They neither need nor want a toaster. I will never understand why a registry is acceptable but stating you want cash isn't. We did a registry with about 5 items on it. Most people got the idea, and the dinosaurs gave us some weird gift they decided we should have.

Maybe you should not invite the "dinosaurs" to your fundraising events in the future.

I was given a ceramic cross from my fathers great aunt wrapped in a plastic target bag. My husband and I are not Christian. We were also given 2 waffle makers, despite the fact that neither of us eat flour. These were not thoughtful gifts with us in mind. It wasn't a fundraising event, but I think gifts should be for the people you give them to, and welcome any information that helps me give them what they want. You all can stand on your soap boxes, but there really is no rhyme or reason to this antiquated rule. You want to give a gift they like right? They told you want they'd like. Where is the harm?

I received similar odd items, some homemade. I was grateful and thankful for each one, even if it never got used. The thought was there. I'm grateful they took the time to buy or make something just for me and dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll see all of your "tackiness" and raise you a friend who started a Go Fund Me account to pay for her wedding. Serious as a heart attack about this.

Now see, that is actually ridiculous. And I am solidly in the camp that believes pretending gifts aren't a part of weddings is stupid.

[Anonymous]

My suggestion: if you are going to put "no boxed gifts" in anticipation of receiving cash, then including a PayPal link so that it can be done online. No need to write a check - just a printout of the amount credited to the PayPal account.