I keep wishing MIL was someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

DIL's naturally approach the relationship with trepidation. The relationship is the MIL's to lose and screw up in the beginning.

As the older person, MIL's need to lead the way and show patience and wisdom.

It is a combination of our society not valuing age so older women (MIL's) naturally buck and compete with younger women, rather than being a maternal presence, and the flipside of not showing respect to our elders, resulting in younger people (DIL's included) not really feeling the need to cater to old folks and their needs.

Really sad, how old people are treated in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

Haha! I knew all the moms of sons would have a fit!

Wah! Wah! I don't want to share. It's (he's) mine! I don't want to share and you can't make me!

Geez, lady. You sound like a three year old.

Just keeping it real. Your future DIl may not tell you this to your face but she'll want it nevertheless.

This is absolutely true. It's also true that your precious DH is preoccupied with thoughts of the things he'd like to do with your 6 best friends, but he's not telling you to your face.

Are you a real MIL? What a horrible thing to say! I'm sorry, you are not going to have a good relationship with ANY DIL, with that kind of warped attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you are more prolific and less deranged with every post? And not needing to have the last word? Hmmmmmm.....interesting....this case of denial you have......Tell us more!

In your delusion, you are making the mistaken assumption that you are "conversing" with only one individual. Adults acknowledge when they made an error and move on--or at least move on. Your ridiculous attempts to belittle the original poster (and all subsequent posters) who pointed out your error are just sad and pathetic. Don't try to be the grammar police without checking your sources.

\

What profession do you suppose specializes in talking in circles rather unsuccessfully?

If your MIL does this, walk don't run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you are more prolific and less deranged with every post? And not needing to have the last word? Hmmmmmm.....interesting....this case of denial you have......Tell us more!

In your delusion, you are making the mistaken assumption that you are "conversing" with only one individual. Adults acknowledge when they made an error and move on--or at least move on. Your ridiculous attempts to belittle the original poster (and all subsequent posters) who pointed out your error are just sad and pathetic. Don't try to be the grammar police without checking your sources.

\

What profession do you suppose specializes in talking in circles rather unsuccessfully?

If your MIL does this, walk don't run!

If someday you have DIL who obsessively cannot let go of an error, feels the need to argue repeatedly with strangers defending that error, deflects by making her mistake out to be someone else's problem, they walk, don't run and pray your son does the same thing before the nut job ruins his life. Good God, I pray my child has the sense to steer clear of someone who cannot acknowledge her mistakes. I have cringed more than once reading this thread. I can only assume there is one person is who is very young and too insecure to understand it is okay to make a mistake. It is okay not to know the definition of every word.

[Anonymous]

Who are you talking to?

Your DIL hates you too, so give it up. In fact, I'm pretty sure your son would have married anyone to get away from you - far, far away.

After all, he could only marry up. At least his DW has the sense to get him professional help he so desperately needs after being raised with the likes of you. You should be thanking her.

Good thin you're not bitter. Bring it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you talking to?

Your DIL hates you too, so give it up. In fact, I'm pretty sure your son would have married anyone to get away from you - far, far away.

After all, he could only marry up. At least his DW has the sense to get him professional help he so desperately needs after being raised with the likes of you. You should be thanking her.

Good thin you're not bitter. Bring it.

Well, my son is 5…you have some serious issues, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you talking to?

Your DIL hates you too, so give it up. In fact, I'm pretty sure your son would have married anyone to get away from you - far, far away.

After all, he could only marry up. At least his DW has the sense to get him professional help he so desperately needs after being raised with the likes of you. You should be thanking her.

Good thin you're not bitter. Bring it.

Well, my son is 5…you have some serious issues, lady.

No, but your son does. Nice job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you talking to?

Your DIL hates you too, so give it up. In fact, I'm pretty sure your son would have married anyone to get away from you - far, far away.

After all, he could only marry up. At least his DW has the sense to get him professional help he so desperately needs after being raised with the likes of you. You should be thanking her.

Good thin you're not bitter. Bring it.

Well, my son is 5…you have some serious issues, lady.

No, but your son does. Nice job.

WTF? Someone is off her meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you talking to?

Your DIL hates you too, so give it up. In fact, I'm pretty sure your son would have married anyone to get away from you - far, far away.

After all, he could only marry up. At least his DW has the sense to get him professional help he so desperately needs after being raised with the likes of you. You should be thanking her.

Good thin you're not bitter. Bring it.

Well, my son is 5…you have some serious issues, lady.

No, but your son does. Nice job.

WTF? Someone is off her meds.

Yeah, seriously. I like a little snark as much as anyone but some posts are like, "Whoa, that makes no sense. She sounds crazy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

DIL's naturally approach the relationship with trepidation. The relationship is the MIL's to lose and screw up in the beginning.

As the older person, MIL's need to lead the way and show patience and wisdom.

It is a combination of our society not valuing age so older women (MIL's) naturally buck and compete with younger women, rather than being a maternal presence, and the flipside of not showing respect to our elders, resulting in younger people (DIL's included) not really feeling the need to cater to old folks and their needs.

Really sad, how old people are treated in the US.

+1


Not all DILs are "crazy". Not all MILs are "stuck in the past".

But the one stat are, are real peaches, indeed!

[Anonymous]

one stat= ones that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

I wonder about this, too. I have a relative who fought in the Battle of the Bulge. He said every dying soldier -- American and German -- cried out for his mother. Not his wife or girlfriend. I think many women are looking for signs that their husband loves his mother more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

I wonder about this, too. I have a relative who fought in the Battle of the Bulge. He said every dying soldier -- American and German -- cried out for his mother. Not his wife or girlfriend. I think many women are looking for signs that their husband loves his mother more.

How Oedipal of you. If this does not scream you need therapy, yesterday, I don't know what does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a nice person and tries to be supportive/not intrusive but I still can't wait until we move and don't have to deal with her and FIL. What MILs don't understand is we DILs want to make our own home with their sons. You had your time with him when he was in your home, now let us have ours!

How very immature. Do you really think your spouse should cut out his family just because you are married? Are you that insecure? The human heart (at least for most of us, not sure about you) has an infinite capacity to love. I am not a mil and have many, many years to go, but I can't help but wonder if many of the mil problems are actually insecure and controlling DILs.

I wonder about this, too. I have a relative who fought in the Battle of the Bulge. He said every dying soldier -- American and German -- cried out for his mother. Not his wife or girlfriend. I think many women are looking for signs that their husband loves his mother more.

How Oedipal of you. If this does not scream you need therapy, yesterday, I don't know what does.

I am not the poster you are referring to, but I think you need to go back to psych 101. It isn't the mom who would have an "oedipus complex," it would be the son. Moreover, looking for comfort when dying from the one who gave you life does not equate wanting to kill your father and have sex with your mother. You truly are over thinking the whole issue. Men can love both their mothers and their wives. It is not a contest.

[Anonymous]

I am a happily-married (25 years) woman and recently had a near death experience. I also cried out for my mother.