Rising 7th grade daughter begging for an IPhone- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

So did you buy your son or daughter fancy sneakers?
Buy your daughter UGGS?

Which name brand clothing is your child asking for that you gave in to?

North Face for a Jacket?

It is not spoiling and coddling to try to help a child ease into a situation that can be fairly tough at times. All parents want their kids to be happy so they can thrive at school. If you want to take the hard line and not care if your kids have a hard time in MS. Some of us have kids who just need a more helpful approach and if a simple thing like a phone can do that, why not?

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

If you think purchasing your kids expensive electronics and clothes to get her thru the tough years will help, YOU are the one encouraging that shallow behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

So did you buy your son or daughter fancy sneakers?
Buy your daughter UGGS?

Which name brand clothing is your child asking for that you gave in to?

North Face for a Jacket?

It is not spoiling and coddling to try to help a child ease into a situation that can be fairly tough at times. All parents want their kids to be happy so they can thrive at school. If you want to take the hard line and not care if your kids have a hard time in MS. Some of us have kids who just need a more helpful approach and if a simple thing like a phone can do that, why not?

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

If you think purchasing your kids expensive electronics and clothes to get her thru the tough years will help, YOU are the one encouraging that shallow behavior.

AMEN to that.

We were dirt poor growing up -- 6 kids and one with (gasp!) down syndrome. We were really truly broke, but my father worked hard, my mother stayed home, and there was a ton of love, affection, attention, focus on academics and giving/taking care of each other. I never had anything fashionable or brand-named....well, actually, there was this one time in 7th grade that I helped a friend and her dad muck out a pond in their back yard, and afterwards he bought me a swatch watch. That was literally the only time in my young life that I had a name-brand/fancy thing. When I was a junior in high school I started working my ass off, and was able to buy myself a few things -- but you know what, by that time I had learned the lesson that it wasn't always worth it to spend money on expensive things.

Anyway.....life lessons can really be invaluable. Kids IMO are better off without gadgets and expensive techy things. When they are able to earn the money to buy it themselves, they will either really appreciate it and take excellent care of it; or they will realize it's just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

So did you buy your son or daughter fancy sneakers?
Buy your daughter UGGS?

Which name brand clothing is your child asking for that you gave in to?

North Face for a Jacket?

It is not spoiling and coddling to try to help a child ease into a situation that can be fairly tough at times. All parents want their kids to be happy so they can thrive at school. If you want to take the hard line and not care if your kids have a hard time in MS. Some of us have kids who just need a more helpful approach and if a simple thing like a phone can do that, why not?

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

If you think purchasing your kids expensive electronics and clothes to get her thru the tough years will help, YOU are the one encouraging that shallow behavior.

AMEN to that.

We were dirt poor growing up -- 6 kids and one with (gasp!) down syndrome. We were really truly broke, but my father worked hard, my mother stayed home, and there was a ton of love, affection, attention, focus on academics and giving/taking care of each other. I never had anything fashionable or brand-named....well, actually, there was this one time in 7th grade that I helped a friend and her dad muck out a pond in their back yard, and afterwards he bought me a swatch watch. That was literally the only time in my young life that I had a name-brand/fancy thing. When I was a junior in high school I started working my ass off, and was able to buy myself a few things -- but you know what, by that time I had learned the lesson that it wasn't always worth it to spend money on expensive things.

Anyway.....life lessons can really be invaluable. Kids IMO are better off without gadgets and expensive techy things. When they are able to earn the money to buy it themselves, they will either really appreciate it and take excellent care of it; or they will realize it's just not worth it.

I know parents who let their kids go all thru high school and college without ever working a job. They are "so" busy they claim. And they still get a car, electronics, name brand clothes, and care packages weekly sent to college. People wonder why this country is so in debt. Kids learn from their parents. They want and don't have to earn. Easy childhood, rough adulthood. Lots of credit card debt, moving back with parents, unable to excel with a decent but mediocre paying job. Immediate gratification is what this generation is learning. Such a shame.

[Anonymous]

Parent of rising 7th grader here. Nearly every kid in the grade has a phone, most are smartphones. Suburban VA Catholic school (K-8).

My child is using an old iPhone 4 - we have full access to read emails and texts. Check it every few days. Stays in the kitchen at night and occasionally is taken away for overuse.

Every parent should make his/her own decision based on family circumstances and child's behavior/personality. I respect other parents' decision to say no to a phone or smartphone, but expect the same courtesy in return (i.e., respect for my decision even if it's not the same as yours).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

So did you buy your son or daughter fancy sneakers?
Buy your daughter UGGS?

Which name brand clothing is your child asking for that you gave in to?

North Face for a Jacket?

It is not spoiling and coddling to try to help a child ease into a situation that can be fairly tough at times. All parents want their kids to be happy so they can thrive at school. If you want to take the hard line and not care if your kids have a hard time in MS. Some of us have kids who just need a more helpful approach and if a simple thing like a phone can do that, why not?

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

If you think purchasing your kids expensive electronics and clothes to get her thru the tough years will help, YOU are the one encouraging that shallow behavior.

First, I never said I had a daighter. I actually have a son.

Second-DC works at our local chruch every Sunday as a teacher's assistant. Does well in school. Plays sports, plays the violin and takes careof the dog on a daily basis.

Just because I gave DS a phone has nothing to do with the other expectations we have for behavior as a person, student, son and friend.

It is amazing how judgemental so many of you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

You have 5 computers and 5 phones in one house? Good lord. Do you even talk to each other face to face?

Wow, PP, why so hostile? We had one computer and two phones in the house until two years ago: my laptop, my blackberry, and the landline (which I kept mainly for 911 service). This was me (single mom) plus two kids. Then I remarried, making us a 2 laptop, 4 phone house: we added my husband plus his laptop, his Iphone (personal phone) and his (issued by employer) blackberry. Then both my kids hit middle school and the school made it clear that they would need computer access to complete most of their homework, so we got two more cheap laptops, which live in the living room. This now makes us a four person, four computer, four phone household -- and it's true that there is generally a period immediately before dinner during which we are all working, the kids on homework and my husband and me clearing out work emails. Then we all eat dinner together and hang out-- gasp, talking, reading books and playing games -- until bedtime.

PP, what makes you think you have any insight into how other people live their lives? I can tell you from personal experience that some families have a ton of gadgets and spend a ton of time together talking and laughing, while other families (my own in childhood, for instance) own not a single gadget -- including no TV -- and never speak to each other. Families can be functional or disfunctional, but I promise that gadget-free families are no more functional than any others.

[Anonymous]

I still wanna know about parental control apps for the Iphone. Any recs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still wanna know about parental control apps for the Iphone. Any recs?

My rules for 14yr old.

Know the password
Parent controls on pg13.
Not allowed to delete app without parent code.
Don't allow history to be deleted (or taken away for a week)
No snapchat
No Instagram
Facebook but I know the password and you are friends with me.
iTunes account is on my credit card and I check history.
Doesn't go to school with you
Plugged in in the kitchen by 9pm
Not allowed to use until HW is done on school nights
No rules on weekends but has to be plugged in kitchen by 10pm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We all have computers because each of us needs to do work at the same time. One computer doesn't cut it. we have 2 HS students, a MS student and both DH and I work.

You have 5 computers and 5 phones in one house? Good lord. Do you even talk to each other face to face?

Wow, PP, why so hostile? We had one computer and two phones in the house until two years ago: my laptop, my blackberry, and the landline (which I kept mainly for 911 service). This was me (single mom) plus two kids. Then I remarried, making us a 2 laptop, 4 phone house: we added my husband plus his laptop, his Iphone (personal phone) and his (issued by employer) blackberry. Then both my kids hit middle school and the school made it clear that they would need computer access to complete most of their homework, so we got two more cheap laptops, which live in the living room. This now makes us a four person, four computer, four phone household -- and it's true that there is generally a period immediately before dinner during which we are all working, the kids on homework and my husband and me clearing out work emails. Then we all eat dinner together and hang out-- gasp, talking, reading books and playing games -- until bedtime.

PP, what makes you think you have any insight into how other people live their lives? I can tell you from personal experience that some families have a ton of gadgets and spend a ton of time together talking and laughing, while other families (my own in childhood, for instance) own not a single gadget -- including no TV -- and never speak to each other. Families can be functional or disfunctional, but I promise that gadget-free families are no more functional than any others.

+1 we have a no phone no computer policy for dinner as well. We have no problem interacting and enjoying our time together. Itis all about rules.

[Anonymous]

PP with 14 year old and rules. Thank you! This is helpful. My rising 9th grader just got his first phone. But it is a pay as you go. He is headed to HS in a gentrifying DC neighborhood and I did not want him to have an expensive phone. It would attract too much attention and if something happened to him or it, everyone would feel badly.

Many students at hs MS had phones, but many did not. He was not begging me for one - he would just make arrangements to meet friends in the neighborhood. He has had access to his own computer since 4th grade.