Rising 7th grade daughter begging for an IPhone- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

When residential electricity emerged some held back for years out of concerns how it might change their life. Many early adopters limited electricity use to 1 hour a day out of health concerns.

My middle schooler has a computer in his room. He plays some games. He also teaches himself computer programming and is creating some games he intends to sell.

[Anonymous]

You can get a used iPhone for about $100 on craigslist. My youngest got his first iPhone in second grade. One of his older siblings upgraded and he got the older phone. It was very inexpensive to add him to our family plan - about $25 a month. He had that iPhone for almost three years. He never lost or broke it. We upgraded his phone and he's had the newer one for about two years. Again, never broken or lost.

If you don't want to get your kid an iPhone, great. But don't assume those of us who did spent $700 on a new phone plus hundreds on the plan. He is in 6th grade now. I would say that at least 75% of his friends have smart phones. I don't know any kids without cell phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

When residential electricity emerged some held back for years out of concerns how it might change their life. Many early adopters limited electricity use to 1 hour a day out of health concerns.

My middle schooler has a computer in his room. He plays some games. He also teaches himself computer programming and is creating some games he intends to sell.

Potential safety issue. How about putting it out in the living room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can get a used iPhone for about $100 on craigslist. My youngest got his first iPhone in second grade. One of his older siblings upgraded and he got the older phone. It was very inexpensive to add him to our family plan - about $25 a month. He had that iPhone for almost three years. He never lost or broke it. We upgraded his phone and he's had the newer one for about two years. Again, never broken or lost.

If you don't want to get your kid an iPhone, great. But don't assume those of us who did spent $700 on a new phone plus hundreds on the plan. He is in 6th grade now. I would say that at least 75% of his friends have smart phones. I don't know any kids without cell phones.

That's interesting. Most of the sixth-graders I know do not have a cell phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. All the kids I know had a smartphone by 5th grade.

This is total BS and even if so, a horrible way of parenting. Daughter says, "But mom everyone has one." Mom says "They do? I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Let's run out right now and get one!!"

Is this how DC Metro parenting works?

No but you also have to be aware on ow kids interact and try to balance that with "we don't do whatver else is doing" MS is tough and if there are some things that make it easieer for a kid to feel more confident, what is so bad.

And no, I don't believe in tattoos or belly rings. A phone is a communciation tool, no different than a computer.

5th grade is not a teen and buying an expensive phone and service to make MS easier for your child is spoiling and coddling. And I also don't allow my child to have a computer, especially in her room. We have one in the living area for the whole family to use. Just like a phone.

When residential electricity emerged some held back for years out of concerns how it might change their life. Many early adopters limited electricity use to 1 hour a day out of health concerns.

My middle schooler has a computer in his room. He plays some games. He also teaches himself computer programming and is creating some games he intends to sell.

Potential safety issue. How about putting it out in the living room?

Good point. It faces the door of his room and we monitor usage. We're near his room more often than the living room. Also, he's aften Skyping other programmers and we overhear than.

[Anonymous]

My DD got her iPhone in the 6th grade.

The cost (additional on the att family plan) is $15/mo.

Not much, imho

[Anonymous]

^^Same here. When we added the kids as they turned 13 they were and additional $9.99 per line.

[Anonymous]

A cell phone can be good for middle schoolers, since they have more after-school activities and may need to contact you if they are taking a late bus home or something. Does it need to be an iPhone? No.

[Anonymous]

My 45-year-old SIL is asking for a smart phone, having never had one.

Why does she need a smart phone as opposed to a basic phone with texting and pics? OP, are you guys really well off so money-wise NBD, or would this be a major present/expense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can get a used iPhone for about $100 on craigslist. My youngest got his first iPhone in second grade. One of his older siblings upgraded and he got the older phone. It was very inexpensive to add him to our family plan - about $25 a month. He had that iPhone for almost three years. He never lost or broke it. We upgraded his phone and he's had the newer one for about two years. Again, never broken or lost.

If you don't want to get your kid an iPhone, great. But don't assume those of us who did spent $700 on a new phone plus hundreds on the plan. He is in 6th grade now. I would say that at least 75% of his friends have smart phones. I don't know any kids without cell phones.

That's interesting. Most of the sixth-graders I know do not have a cell phone.

Really? Because our youngest is in sixth grade and I literally cannot think of one of his friends that does not have a cell. Most have smart phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a 7th grader need an iPhone?

Do you limit your kids to solely what they NEED? Technically all seventh graders need to live is food, water, and shelter, but I would guess most of them have a little more than that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can get a used iPhone for about $100 on craigslist. My youngest got his first iPhone in second grade. One of his older siblings upgraded and he got the older phone. It was very inexpensive to add him to our family plan - about $25 a month. He had that iPhone for almost three years. He never lost or broke it. We upgraded his phone and he's had the newer one for about two years. Again, never broken or lost.

If you don't want to get your kid an iPhone, great. But don't assume those of us who did spent $700 on a new phone plus hundreds on the plan. He is in 6th grade now. I would say that at least 75% of his friends have smart phones. I don't know any kids without cell phones.

I don't assume uou are paying too much.

I DO assume that if you are giving a second grader an iphone with access to data plans then you are a very permissove and overindulgent parent and you probably have very poor judgment.

[Anonymous]

In Mclean, the many girls on travel soccer team got them at 5th grade. We tried to resists past 6th grade but by then almost all girls had iphones.

it was a rich kid thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get it for her, for her 13th birthday. My son had two classmates in 1st grade last year who had iphones. Almost all kids I know have them in middle school. So to me, you've held out really long. And that's impressive.

This all assumes it's not too expensive for you. I got my step daughters iphone 4s for $1 each last year (the kids were 14 and 17). And we have a family plan through ATT where we share data. It didn't cost too much extra to add them.

Better to do it now, IMO, and help teach her to use it responsibly, than to wait until high school where you have less oversight of her.

I don't know about parental control apps, but I drilled it into my step kids' heads that you don't use your phone for anything you wouldn't want the 4 Ps to see:

1) Parents
2) Police
3) Principal
4) Pedophile

Because they "will" see it.

You are oblivious if you don't have parent controls on it. There are so many apps that hides things on their phone and snapchat is a pic that only lasts 30 seconds after you send it. Most of the middle school kids use it to sext. It is amazing working at a school and what you hear. If you have no parent control all you did was give in earlier than high school. You aren't teaching her responsibility.

They are my step kids. Mom controls those things. We just pay.