Is it ever reasonable for a woman to want to conceive a child with a married man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

I honestly don't know. I've never had kids. But if I felt like her clock was ticking and we needed to gitterdone, I'd likely still conceive.

I imagine much of the decision would hinge upon the age of the kids and the nature of my relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

My main point was to not assume that the man is playing games, ie still sexing his wife, not going to divorce her, etc.

He could be entirely sincere and the situation could be true love, just with unfortunate yucky timing.

Not everything can happen exactly how or when u want it too. Sometimes you just have to deal with the ugliness of the timing and go forward with your life. People who care about you and just want to see you happy will forget all about the timing as the years go by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

I honestly don't know. I've never had kids. But if I felt like her clock was ticking and we needed to gitterdone, I'd likely still conceive.

I imagine much of the decision would hinge upon the age of the kids and the nature of my relationship with them.

Assuming that your kids are under 10, would you disengage from your kids' lives and visit them just a couple days a month, like the man in this story? Would you be OK if your GF tells you she doesn't want to have a step mother role for your kids, like the woman in this story? These two issues have nothing to do with yucky timing.

[Anonymous]

I would stay involved w/ my kids. But so many divorced fathers do not. My GF's ex saw/sees his kids maybe 2x/month.

Anybody that loves me should love my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My main point was to not assume that the man is playing games, ie still sexing his wife, not going to divorce her, etc.

He could be entirely sincere and the situation could be true love, just with unfortunate yucky timing.

Not everything can happen exactly how or when u want it too. Sometimes you just have to deal with the ugliness of the timing and go forward with your life. People who care about you and just want to see you happy will forget all about the timing as the years go by.

OP here. I actually think he is truthful, in love, and will divorce and marry her. The big factor is the kids. Her (their) rushing to conceive without considering the psychological impact on his kids troubles me, as does his plan to not see his kids often and her wish not to be their step mother. To be honest, if he didn't have kids, these factors would be moot and I would have an easier time keeping her as guardian. (That said, the fact that these issues do exist are helpful in helping me determine her suitability to be guardian).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My main point was to not assume that the man is playing games, ie still sexing his wife, not going to divorce her, etc.

He could be entirely sincere and the situation could be true love, just with unfortunate yucky timing.

Not everything can happen exactly how or when u want it too. Sometimes you just have to deal with the ugliness of the timing and go forward with your life. People who care about you and just want to see you happy will forget all about the timing as the years go by.

OP here. I actually think he is truthful, in love, and will divorce and marry her. The big factor is the kids. Her (their) rushing to conceive without considering the psychological impact on his kids troubles me, as does his plan to not see his kids often and her wish not to be their step mother. To be honest, if he didn't have kids, these factors would be moot and I would have an easier time keeping her as guardian. (That said, the fact that these issues do exist are helpful in helping me determine her suitability to be guardian).

Sorry, but her complete lack of empathy for this man's dc's speaks to her character. Do you really want this type of person raising your dc's and passing on her values to them as well? I don't care how good of a "friend" she is, she sounds like a crummy human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

Poor advice given.

A) she has already raised 3 beautiful kids, and is a superb parent.

B) not worried about re-marrying or not.

C) why would I be in for a world of pain because I am divorcing without the strain of kids? That makes no sense.

But thanks, anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

Poor advice given.

A) she has already raised 3 beautiful kids, and is a superb parent.

B) not worried about re-marrying or not.

C) why would I be in for a world of pain because I am divorcing without the strain of kids? That makes no sense.

But thanks, anyway!

I'm sure she is a suburb parent, but clearly she is divorced so something happened in her relationship. Again, you want to take her word for the time and energy commitment involved in raising children? Especially if she's desperate to get pregnant again?

Don't worry, you will soon understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

Poor advice given.

A) she has already raised 3 beautiful kids, and is a superb parent.

B) not worried about re-marrying or not.

C) why would I be in for a world of pain because I am divorcing without the strain of kids? That makes no sense.

But thanks, anyway!

I'm sure she is a suburb parent, but clearly she is divorced so something happened in her relationship. Again, you want to take her word for the time and energy commitment involved in raising children? Especially if she's desperate to get pregnant again?

Don't worry, you will soon understand.

Still not making any sense.

People get divorced for a variety of reasons. Had nothing to do with her parenting skills. I have met her boys - all great well adjusted kids.

She wants to have a kid . . . because she LOVES kids and loves me.

Soon understand what? So far, you have been unable to articulate a coherent thought. I will never understand you because you have thus far been unable to communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the woman is single, if she loves the married man and vice versa, if they are planning a future together, if the married man is separated* (living under the same roof as the wife but in separate rooms* while they prepare to inform their young kids about the upcoming divorce), if the man and his wife are indeed planning to divorce amicably* and have begun the divorce process*, and if the woman is concerned about her biological clock and doesn't want to wait for the divorce to be final, is it within the realm of reason for the woman to want and actively try to conceive a child with the married man (and for the married man to agree)? Or is it simply screwed up, crazy, stupid and selfish?

(*unverified beyond man's words and actions, but in all likelihood apparent to be true).

If everything you stipulated is true-- then I think it is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

Poor advice given.

A) she has already raised 3 beautiful kids, and is a superb parent.

B) not worried about re-marrying or not.

C) why would I be in for a world of pain because I am divorcing without the strain of kids? That makes no sense.

But thanks, anyway!

I'm sure she is a suburb parent, but clearly she is divorced so something happened in her relationship. Again, you want to take her word for the time and energy commitment involved in raising children? Especially if she's desperate to get pregnant again?

Don't worry, you will soon understand.

Still not making any sense.

People get divorced for a variety of reasons. Had nothing to do with her parenting skills. I have met her boys - all great well adjusted kids.

She wants to have a kid . . . because she LOVES kids and loves me.

Soon understand what? So far, you have been unable to articulate a coherent thought. I will never understand you because you have thus far been unable to communicate.

No offense, but you just don't get what you are about to get wrapped into. Ask any divorced person with kids how much the stressors of family life lead to divorce.

It sounds like you just want to give her a baby and walk away, so maybe you don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no kids.
Waiting for wife to move out. She knows I have a GF. I stay away for weeks at a time (no questions asked) and have not touched her in over a year. It is over. Just logistics now

But if you had kids, would you do things differently - like, not conceiving until divorce is final, at least?

That is a dumb what-if question. The PP has no idea what it takes to raise children nor what would happen in a divorce, etc.

PP, my advice to you and your 40-yr-old girlfriend is simple; y'all have no idea how difficult it is to parent. If you don't get married before having kids, you won't ever. Trust me, personally and by statistics it will not happen. You are divorcing without the strain of kids, you are in for a world of pain.

Poor advice given.

A) she has already raised 3 beautiful kids, and is a superb parent.

B) not worried about re-marrying or not.

C) why would I be in for a world of pain because I am divorcing without the strain of kids? That makes no sense.

But thanks, anyway!

I'm sure she is a suburb parent, but clearly she is divorced so something happened in her relationship. Again, you want to take her word for the time and energy commitment involved in raising children? Especially if she's desperate to get pregnant again?

Don't worry, you will soon understand.

Still not making any sense.

People get divorced for a variety of reasons. Had nothing to do with her parenting skills. I have met her boys - all great well adjusted kids.

She wants to have a kid . . . because she LOVES kids and loves me.

Soon understand what? So far, you have been unable to articulate a coherent thought. I will never understand you because you have thus far been unable to communicate.

No offense, but you just don't get what you are about to get wrapped into. Ask any divorced person with kids how much the stressors of family life lead to divorce.

It sounds like you just want to give her a baby and walk away, so maybe you don't care.

ANYBODY having a kid for the first time does not know what he/she is getting into.

Are you saying that the human race should stop procreating? Wild.

Sounds like I want to walk away? Huh?
Whachu talkin bout, Willis?

LOL!