Who Should Control A Couple's Sex Life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While Control is not a word I would use to indicate who is "The Decider", the fact remains that there is one or the other who is in "control".

Person who wants it least; otherwise it's rape.

This implies that it is the wife who wants it least. I doubt very few men risk being raped by their wives. If so, rape me.

My wife, will NOT initiate no matter what I do and it is frustrating to no end. I learned she was like this with her ex-husband as well. I am seriously considering bailing. I am tired of asking, "can you come upstairs"? To be told, "in a minute" and the next morning finding her still on the couch. We have money, the kids are grown and have a good life otherwise. But anyone who thinks that sex is not overly important in a relationship is really in need of a knock upside the head.

Why do I stay? I have stayed thus far because the cost to get out is staggering. And I find it as outrageous to demand sex or constantly ask, ask, and ask as I do writing a check to cut her loose. Don't like my response? Dogpile me.

Depends on the act but women can do unwanted sexual acts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who should control the frequency of a married couple's sex life?

1) The husband.
2) The wife
3) The one who wants sex most
4) The one who wants sex least
5) Other?

Whomever is NOT respectful, loving and caring “controls” the sex.

They shut down all attraction and safety. Thus no sex.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, 90% of the time it’s the wife calling the shots. And yes, most women get off on the control it provides.

[Anonymous]

The one who wants sex the most unless there is a medical reason why sex is not an option. Then, the one with the ability to have sex needs to enjoy solo until the sick person is able to have it.

And be willing to adapt/accept adaptations from the partner who needs them.

[Anonymous]

In our marriage no one really controls it but I know when I initiate it my husband is under my control given he knows it will be a very fun time.

[Anonymous]

Whomever is the bigger a-hole controls the whole relationship and dynamic. Act like an a-hole and your target stops wanting to sleep with you? Dont be shocked.

[Anonymous]

Norman Bates' mother.

[Anonymous]

Once you talk about your sex life in terms of control, it’s over.

[Anonymous]

Who’s ever on top! Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While Control is not a word I would use to indicate who is "The Decider", the fact remains that there is one or the other who is in "control".

Person who wants it least; otherwise it's rape.

This implies that it is the wife who wants it least. I doubt very few men risk being raped by their wives. If so, rape me.

My wife, will NOT initiate no matter what I do and it is frustrating to no end. I learned she was like this with her ex-husband as well. I am seriously considering bailing. I am tired of asking, "can you come upstairs"? To be told, "in a minute" and the next morning finding her still on the couch. We have money, the kids are grown and have a good life otherwise. But anyone who thinks that sex is not overly important in a relationship is really in need of a knock upside the head.

Why do I stay? I have stayed thus far because the cost to get out is staggering. And I find it as outrageous to demand sex or constantly ask, ask, and ask as I do writing a check to cut her loose. Don't like my response? Dogpile me.

A lot of men are in the same boat and then the women on here complain about their husbands cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you talk about your sex life in terms of control, it’s over.

+1. Of course no one should be FORCING anyone to do anything. The forcing is wrong uniformly. Because yes, forcing spaghetti that he doesn't want down my husband's throat would also be abusive. Anyone who is exercising CONTROL over another person is doing marriage wrong.

Both people in a relationship make small decisions and big decisions all day every day that impact the health of the marriage. A low libido spouse that doesn't make an effort should not be forced to have s*x but they also are not owed a happy relationship with their spouse. The consequences of that are likely a weakened marriage and relationship possibly leading to divorce.

High libido spouses are on here whining about how they don't get to have their cake and eat it too (have a lot of s*x without getting a divorce) but the low libido spouses are also not entitled to have their cake and eat it too (no s*x but a happy marriage).

There's always give and take. No one should be forced to do anything with their physical body. But there are consequences for not doing things that make your spouse happy. This is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of lower drive spouses feel miserable about it because they love their higher drive spouses; they just aren't sexually attracted to them very often.

This. Unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Def not sexually attracted to the ManChild.

[Anonymous]

The government should - just like abortion access, right????!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The husband. The wife should always submit to her husband whenever her husband calls her to bed. That is one of the duties of a wife, and if she declines, she is sinning.

This is from the Islamic perspective. Doesn't Christianity and Judaism have some sort of similar rule?

Please tell me this is satire written by an islamophobe.