Who Should Control A Couple's Sex Life

[Anonymous]

The one who wants it least or refuses is the one with the power and control. They can use that power and control against their spouse and against their marriage.

Who SHOULD control it - sexual intimacy should be regular part of a marriage relationship and therefore no one needs to control it, rather conversations happen and decisions made that are mutually satisfying to both parties.

If either party is unhappy then usually that is because the other party has taken control (often through refusal) and is using that power to make the other party unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes conversation is necessary; but you can over do it. "Wanna have sex?" isn't nearly as hot as just carrying her up to bed.

[Anonymous]

We let MIL control our sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one who wants it least or refuses is the one with the power and control. They can use that power and control against their spouse and against their marriage.

Who SHOULD control it - sexual intimacy should be regular part of a marriage relationship and therefore no one needs to control it, rather conversations happen and decisions made that are mutually satisfying to both parties.

If either party is unhappy then usually that is because the other party has taken control (often through refusal) and is using that power to make the other party unhappy.

You seem to think that only the partner who wants more sex can be unhappy. Why not the one who wants less sex and feels like it is something he/she does not want to do, but is doing to appease the other partner? That doesn't sound like happiness to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one who wants it least or refuses is the one with the power and control. They can use that power and control against their spouse and against their marriage.

Who SHOULD control it - sexual intimacy should be regular part of a marriage relationship and therefore no one needs to control it, rather conversations happen and decisions made that are mutually satisfying to both parties.

If either party is unhappy then usually that is because the other party has taken control (often through refusal) and is using that power to make the other party unhappy.

You seem to think that only the partner who wants more sex can be unhappy. Why not the one who wants less sex and feels like it is something he/she does not want to do, but is doing to appease the other partner? That doesn't sound like happiness to me.

I see doing things that make my spouse happy as part of marriage, it isn't all just about what I want. If we both do things that make the other person happy, then that attitude leads to a happier marriage. If you see any sexual activity with your spouse as something that makes you unhappy or if you don't want to do anything to make the other person happy, then you don't have much of a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Who Should Control A Couple's Sex Life?

Congress!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who Should Control A Couple's Sex Life?

Congress!

I was just about to say 'Government'..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Controls? Are you whack OP?

How abut if all those involved negotiate, talk, communicate, work it out together?

No, she's not "whack", she's clearly ESL, and it shows.
I hope she knows what 'pumpkin patch' is.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is an unhappy husband who feels he is not getting enough. Try working on your emotional intimacy with your DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is an unhappy husband who feels he is not getting enough. Try working on your emotional intimacy with your DW.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well. I don't think it's someone for whom English is a second language.

[Anonymous]

I have the power! I just start twerkin' then it's on and poppin'!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the power! I just start twerkin' then it's on and poppin'!

Please tell us more!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who should control what a couple has for dinner each night?

They should take turns cooking and selecting the menu, keeping in mind what they BOTH like and dislike.

Sex is a compromise and a mutual agreement.

It's not rape if your spouse serves you spaghetti when you don't like it; and it's not cheating if you go pick up a burger from a fast food joint when you and your spouse can't agree on dinner. So the analogy doesn't hold up.

How about if you force the other person to eat the spaghetti or burger? Get the analogy now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We let MIL control our sex life.

Hilarious.

Seriously, OP - the third word in your question is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Pat Sajack