Has My Mother Lost Her Mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Yes, we did the ENTIRE Thanksgiving break with my mom. Tried to do some boundary setting. My mother now wants our baby to call her "Momma Jane." And she sent my husband and I out to pick up monogramed pillows and baby blankets she had ordered. To stay at her house of course, not for the baby's nursery at home, but for her house.

My husband and I are over the material things. But the shadow nursery is very weird.

The entire weekend I felt like I was pumping so that I could prepare bottles for my mom to feed her.

It is what it is.

It sounds like the PP who said you could expect your mother to start making blurry statements about the baby being hers was spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Yes, we did the ENTIRE Thanksgiving break with my mom. Tried to do some boundary setting. My mother now wants our baby to call her "Momma Jane." And she sent my husband and I out to pick up monogramed pillows and baby blankets she had ordered. To stay at her house of course, not for the baby's nursery at home, but for her house.

My husband and I are over the material things. But the shadow nursery is very weird.

The entire weekend I felt like I was pumping so that I could prepare bottles for my mom to feed her.

It is what it is.

I'd say no to the Momma Jane thing. THAT IS WAY OVER THE TOP! I'd train the kid to call her Granny.

[Anonymous]

Let her have her momma word. Call her, "BIG MOMMA" like the recent movie Or maybe "OLD MOMMA"

[Anonymous]

I think we can now answer the question in the subject line: YES!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to my parent's house last week with our 1 month old. My mother has turned a bedroom pretty much into a nursery, with an antique crib, embriodered sheets, closet full of very expensive clothes, etc. Downstairs, there was a beautiful MacLauren seat for a baby 0-6 monthes.

In my head, I was a little upset because I can't buy these gorgeous things for the baby. We got our crib from Overstock, and have hand me down sheets and mattress. I can't dress her in smocked dresses or have a French theme in her nursery.

When we were leaving, I asked if we could borrow the MacLauren, and return it with the baby at Thanksgiving. My mom said no. It all stays here. (?) We live four hours away, and will only be at my parents house 3-4 times a year.

I got pissed, and told my mom she was being unreasonable. All of these beautiful clothes, the chair, etc. just to sit in her house?

She hasn't talked to me since. I feel like I walked into another new mother's home, compared nurseries, and got upset. I told her this, and she told me I was being selfish.

Has she lost her mind? Or am I the weird one here?

OP -- it's very simple. the stuff belongs to your mother. get your own stuff.

No, it's not that simple. It would be like if the OP's mother had some illness that required her to be either in bed or in a wheelchair, and OP went out and furnished a room in her own home with a hospital style deluxe bed and a scooter in her garage that she intended to keep for her mom's occasional visits 2-3x/year. The elder mother needed those things, and didn't have them at home. When the elder mother asked her daughter if she could have them, daughter said no, she wants to keep them with her for when her mom visits, and to remind her of her mom when she's not there.

Drastic, yes - but that's the gist of why the OP is ticked, IMO.

I am the OP-

Wow. You are so right. My mother in law (who happens to be a gifted, beautiful person) suffered a stroke at 52 and is in assisted living, pretty much confined to her wheel chair. My husband and I take care of her financially, emotionally, etc. as best we can. I could never equip my home with things she can't enjoy in her limited surroundings at her "home."

I was a therapist for two years before switching careers, and know that my mom also has issues with me taking care of my husband's mother. Ironic, as my mother does okay with her two homes, inheritance, and mobility. And it is hard to provide the emotional support to her as it isn't reciprical.

The whole family situation is a hot mess (not a clinical term ) but we will keep on keepin on. Really looking forward to the Christmas Holiday. We have decided to do a one day visit.