Did anyone else's spouse kill it at Biglaw last month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no year end bonuses or distributions at his firm. That's what he made in Feb. There seem to be a handful of others on this thread. I have no idea whether it is an emerging trend or an outlier. It has been trending quite high as of late, but this was close to double the avg. month. Would be awesome of it keeps up, we'll have to see. He works his ass off though[u].

So do lots of people. Assuming that's double his average, your DH makes 15 times what I do. Are you implying that he works 15 times as many hours?

[Anonymous]

OP, I've only read a few pages of this, but I think the backlash against your post all comes down to the title.

First, there's the fact that a wife is talking about her husband's earnings.

Second, and I think this is the big one, the use of "kill it." Yeah, did anyone else's husband f'ing nail it and bring home a killing? Yeah baby. It's very cheerleader-ish.

Finally, there's the reference to biglaw and the combined effect of all of this is, a wife shamelessly flaunting how outrageously successful her husband is. It's kind of gross.

In subsequent posts it's clear that you're just a nice lady whose husband isn't around much and you want to know if everyone else is raking in the money. Ok. But you could have used a little more diplomacy or humility in your entire post, starting with the title. The fact that you didn't shows that, probably, underneath it all, you did want to flaunt, and lord it over people, even on an anonymous forum. People do that all over DCUM, you have plenty of friends here, people anonymously bragging, so their egos will hear the reflection and bask in it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the insightful and cogent analysis PP. Seriously.

I didn't know the etiquette rule about taking about a husbands earnings. It is presumed that every post about HHI includes a spouses earnings whether singular or combined (unless the household doesn't include a spouse). If this is off limits or tacky, I won't mention it again.

I definitely used slang in the title- my bad (pun intended) . I didn't intend to turn anyone off, alienate, or cheerlead, it is sort of the way I talk sometimes (for better or worse). I definitely could have said "does anyone have a spouse in biglaw who saw an increase in draw and distribution recently", maybe I will try that approach next time

Big law is the industry I'm interested in learning about I'm not curious if partners in a medical practice or lobbyists or hedge fund guys are seeing an uptick.

If outrageously successful is solely base on earning, then he does well. If you incorporate other personality traits and characteristics into it, depending on what they are, he is probably not outrageously successful.

I don't want it to seem like DH is not around very much, he is, but unfortunately much of the time it's not all that pleasant because he's super stressed out and being pulled in too many directions.

This is the life he's chosen for now and we're trying to make the best of it, but in this day and age of economic uncertainty it really does help to have some cushion as it affords is more options and we have fewer disagreements over money.

[Anonymous]

OP, you really need to get a clue. You sound superficial and I cannot believe you don't understand how offputting your post sounds to so many of us who make a fraction of what your DH makes.

signed,
former BigLaw attorney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- $206K in one month. It is many many K higher than usual.

Seriously? Are you not embarrassed to advertise his draw, even on an anonymous forum? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and how many times wa she there to say good night to the kids, have dineer witht hem, visit them at school?

Sorry, take you $$$ I would much rather have DH do all that than have money.

Hubby leaves a lot to be desired as a spouse, but less to be desired as a dad. Home for kids to bed every night, (except when traveling) and even takes kiddos to school most mornings. Works extra hours mainly at night post 9pm. DH definitely has faults but the compensation makes dealing with some of the day-to-day stresses much easier.

Whatever works for you, hon. Not my idea of a happy family life, but you go for it!

[Anonymous]

Superficial- why? Off put? I'm not off put but people who earn more than my husband or I (of which there are many), even if they were to ask if NHL $15M contracts are likely to go up due to last years lockout or whatever. I don't think people who earn more are horrible or pathetic. I comprehend people make different salaries dependent upon profession. And I also comprehend salary is not the only thing that makes a person.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, honey, let me help you out here.

"Killing it" refers to hours, but is usually used as "I'm getting killed." I actually thought from the title that you were wondering whether anyone else's DH worked a ton of hours last month because maybe he was having an affair (since BigLaw is supposed to be sucking wind right now and all).

The phrase you are looking for is "tonning it."

However, it is incredibly gauche to talk about comp, even if your DH is at an open comp shop. It just isn't done, darling.

Now run along and get your nails done and read a book, for heaven's sake, so you have something to talk about at the next work-related social event other than DH's draw.

I'm sorely tempted to share your post with ATL so we can do some public shaming, but I will refrain. It wold not be fair to your DH.

Love and kisses,
BigLaw Wife married to BigLaw Partner Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- $206K in one month. It is many many K higher than usual.

Seriously? Are you not embarrassed to advertise his draw, even on an anonymous forum? Gross.

Embarrassed? Hell no! I only mentioned the # after being asked. The salient part is the proportionate increase. Which is what I queried about in the first case. So let me get this straight, I should be EMBARASSED to mention he works hard, makes great money, and wins really difficult cases- or is it just the $$ I should be embarrassed to discuss here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Superficial- why? Off put? I'm not off put but people who earn more than my husband or I (of which there are many), even if they were to ask if NHL $15M contracts are likely to go up due to last years lockout or whatever. I don't think people who earn more are horrible or pathetic. I comprehend people make different salaries dependent upon profession. And I also comprehend salary is not the only thing that makes a person.

I don't think it's horrible or pathetic to earn that kind of money, but I think it's pathetic and insensitive to crow about it to other people. I don't buy your "I'm just curious" routine at all. You are bragging and I find that quite unattractive. You're right aht salary isn't the only thing that makes a person -- in my book it's not even close to the top of the list of essential qualities. Humility, sensitivity, "class" -- these are priceless. Sadly, your post suggests you are lacking in these qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP, honey, let me help you out here.

"Killing it" refers to hours, but is usually used as "I'm getting killed." I actually thought from the title that you were wondering whether anyone else's DH worked a ton of hours last month because maybe he was having an affair (since BigLaw is supposed to be sucking wind right now and all).

The phrase you are looking for is "tonning it."

However, it is incredibly gauche to talk about comp, even if your DH is at an open comp shop. It just isn't done, darling.

Now run along and get your nails done and read a book, for heaven's sake, so you have something to talk about at the next work-related social event other than DH's draw.

I'm sorely tempted to share your post with ATL so we can do some public shaming, but I will refrain. It wold not be fair to your DH.

Love and kisses,
BigLaw Wife married to BigLaw Partner Husband

Not OP but BigLaw Wife is showing her age by not knowing that "kill it" means to do something well. You need to talk to your kids more often.

[Anonymous]

My list is a bit different than yours. Sincerity, humor, and an interest in the world around us are huge in my book. I can give or take humility- I'm more about keeping it real. If class is relevant then out society is in a world of hurt. DCUM being a prime example- in one of the most sophisticated cities in the world- ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no year end bonuses or distributions at his firm. That's what he made in Feb. There seem to be a handful of others on this thread. I have no idea whether it is an emerging trend or an outlier. It has been trending quite high as of late, but this was close to double the avg. month. Would be awesome of it keeps up, we'll have to see. He works his ass off though[u].

So do lots of people. Assuming that's double his average, your DH makes 15 times what I do. Are you implying that he works 15 times as many hours?

Definitely not! I'm not implying anything about you, but i can guarantee he works more hours than you and makes more money per hour. He works really hard, as do a lot of us. So what?

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, thank you for trolling tonight. This has been a fun thread. Now moving on...

[Anonymous]

No worries PP, my pleasure. Out of curiosity, since I was a good enough sport to answer almost every query, what of my posts smacked of falsehoods?