What's with the lady in my neighborhood who cannot be bothered with thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

^^^PP here - to be clear, I was also responding to this sarcastic comment:

But you teach them to be disappointed in the gift giver if they don't get the embossed gift card thanking them. Teaching them that those children have bad manners.

which makes assumptions not written anywhere in any of my posts.

If you, PP, have issues of whatever nature with embossed gift cards, the practice of writing thank you notes, or manners, then you need to address those yourself. I did not say, nor do I teach my children that the not receiving notes for gifts they have given is problematic, or that it is bad manners. (Doing so would be bad manners, now wouldn't it?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so sad to me that so many people give gifts with such high expectations of what they will get in return. what about teaching your kids that giving a gift isn't about what you get back. Saying no, that thank you you told me verbally wasn't enough, I deserve more appreciation for what I gave you. I want a verbal thank you and a handwritten note mailed to me. Then maybe I will feel as you you truly recognize and appreciate how awesome I am for giving you that gift.

What is so special about a paper and an envelope? If the person expresses thanks and appreciation, why can't that be enough thanks for you? Do you want an email also sent out or a public message posted on facebook about how awesome you are for giving a gift? People need so much ego stroking.

I teach my kids you give with no expectation. It isn't about what you get in return. If the person says thank you, that is great. I expect my kids to say thank you for anything they receive. That is sufficient.

You are expressing this from the giver's point of view. I don't teach my kids to expect anything when they give gifts. I do not encourage them to seek any expression of their awesomeness in return.

I do however teach them to write thank-you notes for what they receive, just as e.g. we say grace at dinner each night.

I don't care what anyone else does, but in our family, we take the time and effort to write a personal thank-you to people who were thoughtful enough to remember us on special days. That is what we do. Grandma is happy to see our children's thank-yous in their own handwriting, and with each thank-you note3, our kids learn to appreciate other people remembering them and taking the time to give them a gift.

I don't care what anyone else does, but in our family, we take the time and effort to write a personal thank-you to people who were thoughtful enough to remember us on special days. That is what we do. Grandma is happy to see our children's thank-yous in their own handwriting, and with each thank-you note3, our kids learn to appreciate other people remembering them and taking the time to give them a gift.

But you teach them to be disappointed in the gift giver if they don't get the embossed gift card thanking them. Teaching them that those children have bad manners.

Do you teach your kids that it is bad manners if they don't write thank you notes? If so, does this mean that everyone who doesn't write thank you notes have bad manners?

Nope, we do not comment on others' manners, customs, notes or lack of notes.

You are making assumptions and they are incorrect.

We teach our children to do this. Others can do as they wish, we don't comment on notes, lack of notes, stationery, embossed envelopes, or any other aspects of what others choose to do.

You misunderstood. I did not make assumptions. I asked a question. My point is, if you teach your kids that good manners mean writing thanks you notes *because that's just what you rfamily does), do you kids them think that people know don't have bad manners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so sad to me that so many people give gifts with such high expectations of what they will get in return. what about teaching your kids that giving a gift isn't about what you get back. Saying no, that thank you you told me verbally wasn't enough, I deserve more appreciation for what I gave you. I want a verbal thank you and a handwritten note mailed to me. Then maybe I will feel as you you truly recognize and appreciate how awesome I am for giving you that gift.

What is so special about a paper and an envelope? If the person expresses thanks and appreciation, why can't that be enough thanks for you? Do you want an email also sent out or a public message posted on facebook about how awesome you are for giving a gift? People need so much ego stroking.

I teach my kids you give with no expectation. It isn't about what you get in return. If the person says thank you, that is great. I expect my kids to say thank you for anything they receive. That is sufficient.

You are expressing this from the giver's point of view. I don't teach my kids to expect anything when they give gifts. I do not encourage them to seek any expression of their awesomeness in return.

I do however teach them to write thank-you notes for what they receive, just as e.g. we say grace at dinner each night.

I don't care what anyone else does, but in our family, we take the time and effort to write a personal thank-you to people who were thoughtful enough to remember us on special days. That is what we do. Grandma is happy to see our children's thank-yous in their own handwriting, and with each thank-you note3, our kids learn to appreciate other people remembering them and taking the time to give them a gift.

I don't care what anyone else does, but in our family, we take the time and effort to write a personal thank-you to people who were thoughtful enough to remember us on special days. That is what we do. Grandma is happy to see our children's thank-yous in their own handwriting, and with each thank-you note3, our kids learn to appreciate other people remembering them and taking the time to give them a gift.

But you teach them to be disappointed in the gift giver if they don't get the embossed gift card thanking them. Teaching them that those children have bad manners.

Do you teach your kids that it is bad manners if they don't write thank you notes? If so, does this mean that everyone who doesn't write thank you notes have bad manners?

Nope, we do not comment on others' manners, customs, notes or lack of notes.

You are making assumptions and they are incorrect.

We teach our children to do this. Others can do as they wish, we don't comment on notes, lack of notes, stationery, embossed envelopes, or any other aspects of what others choose to do.

You misunderstood. I did not make assumptions. I asked a question. My point is, if you teach your kids that good manners mean writing thanks you notes *because that's just what you rfamily does), do you kids them think that people know don't have bad manners?

I don't know which quoted PP you are, but in any case, I don't know what my kids think. They are tween and teenage boys and probably don't give it a moment's thought.

[Anonymous]

OP, just curious: What would you think about a thank you email? Like it or not, that is the direction we are going as a society.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like another excuse - a very creative one - not to make the effort to write a thank you note. Obviously, you don't always have the opportunity to say thank you in person - what then? It's amazing how crafty the anti-thank you note crowd is with their excuses and deflections to avoid writing a thank you note. It's bad for the environment, you're "hiding" behind a note, people who expect thank yous are grudge holders .... Next thing you know, thank you notes cause cancer

+1

I cannot believe some of what I am reading as an excuse not to write a quick note either.

[Anonymous]

OP, just curious: What would you think about a thank you email? Like it or not, that is the direction we are going as a society.


OP said in the first post that she didn't receive any sort of thank you for a gift...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just curious: What would you think about a thank you email? Like it or not, that is the direction we are going as a society.

In that case, I hope people are happy getting virtual gifts instead of actual ones.

[Anonymous]

"OP, just curious: What would you think about a thank you email? Like it or not, that is the direction we are going as a society. "

Yup, Calling Cards have gone the way of the doo doo. No ill effects to the nation.

These Thank You Note Psychos really need to carm down.