What's with the lady in my neighborhood who cannot be bothered with thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:I can't believe how many of you had parents that didn't teach this. Disgusting.[/b]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:I can't believe how many of you had parents that didn't teach this. Disgusting.[/b]

I cannot help but agree. Sorry, but what parent doens't teach this? Did they forget to teach you to say, "Please," as well? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if I repeatedly don't get thank-you notes from certain people, I wonder if we won't see eye to eye on other things as well, if we probably have different personal styles, child rearing styles, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say it in person, don't hide behind a note.

Really? Drop off kid bday parties where all the gifts go on a table...bday kid is usually nowhere nearby. Gifts taken home to be opened. You send a written thank you note. I don't care if you do it by post or email. However, written out also helps kids handwriting skills and friends get something in the mail (which my boys love).

What you are unintentionally saying is that you have no manners when you don't send a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say it in person, don't hide behind a note.

Really? Drop off kid bday parties where all the gifts go on a table...bday kid is usually nowhere nearby. Gifts taken home to be opened. You send a written thank you note. I don't care if you do it by post or email. However, written out also helps kids handwriting skills and friends get something in the mail (which my boys love).

What you are unintentionally saying is that you have no manners when you don't send a note.

Every party I've been to, I've handed off the present to the parent or the kid (to which I receive my verbal thank you). Then my kid enjoys the party and we go home. After a couple of days, we're not waiting to see if a note appears in the mail or not as a sign of gratitute from the gift receiver. I already got my thanks....in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if I repeatedly don't get thank-you notes from certain people, I wonder if we won't see eye to eye on other things as well, if we probably have different personal styles, child rearing styles, etc.

That might just be it. I'm an informal person; we never wrote thank you notes when I was a kid. I did it for my wedding because it seemed terrible not to, even though I really don't care about getting thank you notes from other people after I've given them wedding gifts. And so far as I know I thank people (by email, phone, or in person) when they do nice by me, by giving me a gift or in some other way. I'm disorganized and forgetful, and I am sure that I've forgotten to say thank you sometimes. If that makes me disgusting in your view, prbly best if we're not that close, since there really probably are a lot of things that I'll do, or you'll do, that'll grate.

[Anonymous]

ETA: Obv don't mean that "as far as I know I thank people" - what I meant to say is that I do thank people when they've done nice things for me. But I'm forgetful and disorganized, and prbly forget sometimes. And if you think that means I'm gross or that my parents are axe-murderers, that it probably really does mean we shouldn't be friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a waste of paper and outdated.

This is just an excuse. Thank you notes - whether via e-mail or snail mail - should be a matter of course and are no more of a waste of paper than a letter to a friend or loved one. It's basic courtesy to thank someone for a gift they have given you. Not only am I tired of reading lame excuses like this one, but the deflections of why it's actually those who give gifts and reasonably expect a thank you of some sort who are in the wrong (they are grudge holders, etc).

Guess people will go to great lengths to justify lazy, rude behavior.

It is indeed. That's why we say it in person and not use silly notes!

You don't always have the opportunity to say it in person ... what do you say then about those "silly notes"? My guess is you don't write thank you notes then either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if I repeatedly don't get thank-you notes from certain people, I wonder if we won't see eye to eye on other things as well, if we probably have different personal styles, child rearing styles, etc.

That might just be it. I'm an informal person; we never wrote thank you notes when I was a kid. I did it for my wedding because it seemed terrible not to, even though I really don't care about getting thank you notes from other people after I've given them wedding gifts. And so far as I know I thank people (by email, phone, or in person) when they do nice by me, by giving me a gift or in some other way. I'm disorganized and forgetful, and I am sure that I've forgotten to say thank you sometimes. If that makes me disgusting in your view, prbly best if we're not that close, since there really probably are a lot of things that I'll do, or you'll do, that'll grate.

Yes, I tend to gravitate more towards moms/families who are more conscientious about the little things. Our family styles just tend to blend more easily and there are fewer chances for misinterpretations, misunderstandings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say it in person, don't hide behind a note.

This sounds like another excuse - a very creative one - not to make the effort to write a thank you note. Obviously, you don't always have the opportunity to say thank you in person - what then? It's amazing how crafty the anti-thank you note crowd is with their excuses and deflections to avoid writing a thank you note. It's bad for the environment, you're "hiding" behind a note, people who expect thank yous are grudge holders .... Next thing you know, thank you notes cause cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say it in person, don't hide behind a note.

This sounds like another excuse - a very creative one - not to make the effort to write a thank you note. Obviously, you don't always have the opportunity to say thank you in person - what then? It's amazing how crafty the anti-thank you note crowd is with their excuses and deflections to avoid writing a thank you note. It's bad for the environment, you're "hiding" behind a note, people who expect thank yous are grudge holders .... Next thing you know, thank you notes cause cancer.

Seriously, how hard is it? Grab a blank notecard, write it, and put it in the mail. For all the energy all you all are finding to come up with reasons not to write thank-you notes, you could have written about 100 of them by now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, I tend to gravitate more towards moms/families who are more conscientious about the little things. Our family styles just tend to blend more easily and there are fewer chances for misinterpretations, misunderstandings, etc.

See, we've just achieved world peace! It all comes down to (mostly) associating with people whose ways are compatible with your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:I can't believe how many of you had parents that didn't teach this. Disgusting.[/b]

I cannot help but agree. Sorry, but what parent doens't teach this? Did they forget to teach you to say, "Please," as well? Sheesh.

I am the "shocked" OP. The reason: it is a very myopic view to think that everyone was raised the same way. Not all parents come from a culture or background that put value on Thank you notes. Those are the parents that don't teach this. Open your world view, your point of view of what is considered manners isn't the ONLY point of view of what is polite.

[Anonymous]

"Yes, I tend to gravitate more towards moms/families who are more conscientious about the little things. Our family styles just tend to blend more easily and there are fewer chances for misinterpretations, misunderstandings, etc."

Fiddle - dee - dee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if I repeatedly don't get thank-you notes from certain people, I wonder if we won't see eye to eye on other things as well, if we probably have different personal styles, child rearing styles, etc.

That might just be it. I'm an informal person; we never wrote thank you notes when I was a kid. I did it for my wedding because it seemed terrible not to, even though I really don't care about getting thank you notes from other people after I've given them wedding gifts. And so far as I know I thank people (by email, phone, or in person) when they do nice by me, by giving me a gift or in some other way. I'm disorganized and forgetful, and I am sure that I've forgotten to say thank you sometimes. If that makes me disgusting in your view, prbly best if we're not that close, since there really probably are a lot of things that I'll do, or you'll do, that'll grate.

Actually you are a badly-mannered person, brought up by parents with bad manners.

It doesn't make you disgusting, it just means you have bad manners, which reflects badly on you.