What's with the lady in my neighborhood who cannot be bothered with thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She doesn't like you.

If the neighbor doesn't like OP, why does she keep inviting her to parties?

maybe neighbor likes her gifts, not her.

[Anonymous]

What I want to know is why you keep giving her gifts?
If she doesn't say thank you at all...stop giving her gifts and then holding her hostage in your mind for not sayiing thanks.
The fact that you keep doing this is even crazier than the lady's lack of acknowledgement.

signed a mom who made her kid write and deliver her b'day thanks the day after the party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was taught that if you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them to their face, then a thank you note is not necessary.

you were taught wrong. Miss manners has a column in the wash post, its vet informative. To all the people making excuses about bit writing notes because they weren't trained to do it as kids, I want either. I am really good about sending thankyou notes and my mom recently commented that I'm the only one of my siblings who acknowledges gifts at all. Either you have a spirit of gratitude or you don't.

Who died and made Miss Manners god? Why does a piece of paper hold so much more than spoken words?

[Anonymous]

Wow. I can't believe how poorly mannered these women are. As a rule, we always wrote thank you notes in my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was taught that if you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them to their face, then a thank you note is not necessary.

you were taught wrong

No, she's correct.

I'm a stickler for thank-you notes too, so it kills me that people think I'm being rude when THEY'RE the ones who don't quite understand the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was taught that if you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them to their face, then a thank you note is not necessary.

you were taught wrong

No, she's correct.

I'm a stickler for thank-you notes too, so it kills me that people think I'm being rude when THEY'RE the ones who don't quite understand the rules.

And these rules are like those un-written sports rules right?

[Anonymous]

If you are offended, stop giving her gifts. Seems like an easy solution.

[Anonymous]

She was raised badly by people with no manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a consummate thank you note writer. My mother DRILLED into our heads growing up. It was painful and miserable to sit down and the table and do it when we were young and just wanted to play. I love her for it now.

HOWEVER, posts like yours make me freak out that if one of my thank you notes got lost in the mail some crazy b*tch is holding a grudge.

I write the notes and make my kids write the notes to show appreciation. Also- to acknowledge gifts by mail, etc. I write them (or help) my kids write them for all bday, Xmas gifts, etc. About 50% of the kids whose parties we attend send thank-you notes. I don't think any differently of the people that don't send them. My kids do LOVE getting them in the mail from friends. There is so few letters sent these days-it is exciting to see their name on the envelope.

I have heard that the Obama administration does not send thank you notes to donors....even major donors. Bill Mahr contributed $1 million and it was not acknowledged..another rich celebrity on his show said the same thing and it was the talk of the town. Many questioned donating again. NOW--I KNOW, I KNOW--the President shouldn't be writing them. We need him focused. But--WTH???--doesn't he have a Social Secretary like every President before him? Things like this turn me off.

As you get older--not writing a thank you note after an interview for a job, etc. or for a nice dinner, etc. does reflect poorly on you. I will continue to teach my kids social manners since it is a valuable life skill.

Well you've made me change my mind. I'm going to vote for Romney now because I bet Ann writes all of his thank you notes by hand!

[Anonymous]

If someone thanks you verbally, it is the same heartfelt thank you as if they wrote a note, so why are you people so offended? You want a note as PROOF of their thanks?

[Anonymous]

I am disorganized and overwhelmed with a job and small kids. Lots of things don't get done. If you aren't Luke this be glad and have some compassion.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine why anyone defends not writing thank you notes - e-mail, paper, text, whatever / however. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift. The fact that people on this forum continually dismiss thank you notes -and even attack those who appreciate thank you notes - is a mystery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disorganized and overwhelmed with a job and small kids. Lots of things don't get done. If you aren't Luke this be glad and have some compassion.

I work, have small kids, busy, sometimes disorganized home. Make time for thank you notes. It takes a few minutes to write an e-mail or send a note via snail mail. It can be done. If someone takes the time to be thoughtful by getting me a gift, the least I can do is acknowledge their generosity with 2 - 3 sentences that say THANK YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disorganized and overwhelmed with a job and small kids. Lots of things don't get done. If you aren't Luke this be glad and have some compassion.

We are all busy. Every last one of us.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your neighbor simply wasn't taught as a child to send thank you notes and hasn't gleaned as an adult that this is something most do. Believe it or not, not everyone was raised the same way.