DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Mensa Smensa.

Mensa's for lightweights.

(not telling how we got the book up there, but lets just say I'm glad we went for Volume 1. You should know, that I got it out, along with DD while doing a gymnastic routine and composing a symphony called "Glory of Birth." Daughter emerged singing an aria in a perfect mezzo soprano. Epidurals are for losers.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't relate to anything anyone writes here. All the moms are jealous of me and my child. Who wouldn't be? We're perfect. I am just such a well rounded put together mom who can do anything at all. I just know you're jealous too.

Cut it out, Suzon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Mensa Smensa.

Mensa's for lightweights.

(not telling how we got the book up there, but lets just say I'm glad we went for Volume 1. You should know, that I got it out, along with DD while doing a gymnastic routine and composing a symphony called "Glory of Birth." Daughter emerged singing an aria in a perfect mezzo soprano. Epidurals are for losers.)

Well MY DC's IQ is infinity + 1 the tests say so and so does the consultant that we hired to get DC into Beauvoir

[Anonymous]

My son's penis is turning into a vagina because we feed him Morningstar Soy Products. I have always wanted a daughter but DH is livid and wants the penis reattached. Does anyobe have a good accupunturist that can help? I took him to my high end salon in Georgetown but they were only able to wax me. What needs to be done? It's kind of a hurry too as Beauvoir has him down as a HIM, not a HER and I don't want to lose our spot! If I'm not in the "Family" I will be besides myself.

[Anonymous]

Everywhere I go people tell me how beautiful my daughter is. Strangers stop me in the street and in stores all the time just to look at her. Its starting to get annoying because I can't go anywhere without people gushing over her. I'm attractive, and so is my husband, so its no surprise that we had an attractive child, but I just wasn't expecting her to get this much attention!

[Anonymous]

OP -- you rock! This farce has really made my day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my DH didn't come home last night, and he won't pick up the phone. Our nanny came in this morning was wearing a shirt exactly like the one my DH wore last night. Do you think I should be worried? I called Queenie, my neighbor and she said not to worry, and could she bring her 6 DCs over for a playdate?

Do you know where I can get organic pot? I like to smoke in on my way to work while on the cell phone and doing my weekly pedicure.

Takoma Park.

Yuch! That is in the suburbs. DC pot is SOOO much better!

[Anonymous]

For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you get the book in there? I am pregnant with quads, and I really want them to be smart, and learn how to entertain themselves.

Beautiful!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't relate to anything anyone writes here. All the moms are jealous of me and my child. Who wouldn't be? We're perfect. I am just such a well rounded put together mom who can do anything at all. I just know you're jealous too.

You sound very grounded -- do you happen to live in Rockville?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

Bitch. What a moronic thing to say.

I mean, I agree, great insight!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

That's what happens when you smoke pot. The world is a much nicer place!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

That's what happens when you smoke pot. The world is a much nicer place!

Or you are too busy eating chips and ice cream to worry about it.

That reminds me, anyone seen my cheetos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

Wait, this is post is a joke? I really have a problem with my child being too beautiful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

Wait, this is post is a joke? I really have a problem with my child being too beautiful!

Well, just make sure you don't go the child-modeling route. Child modeling is trashy and low-class.