DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, if you don't plan to send your child to Beauvoir, will you please let them know RIGHT NOW? Some of us on the waitlist would like to know if we stand a chance of getting Junior in and if you're holding a spot, you really should let it go for our sake.

Also, my nanny sometimes sits down when she is at our house--sometimes to eat lunch, sometimes just because the kids are napping! I am shocked and I'm not sure what to do. Should I dock her pay for every minute she's seated? I expect her to be up and on her feet at all times...unless she's driving a vehicle in which my kids are properly strapped.

There's that "B" word again. Finally, this forum is getting back on track.

Beauvoir.

Scandal.

Beauvoir.

Cotillion.

Beauvoir.

Sidwell?

Beauvoir.

Pizza.

Beauvoir.

[Anonymous]

my DH didn't come home last night, and he won't pick up the phone. Our nanny came in this morning was wearing a shirt exactly like the one my DH wore last night. Do you think I should be worried? I called Queenie, my neighbor and she said not to worry, and could she bring her 6 DCs over for a playdate?

Do you know where I can get organic pot? I like to smoke in on my way to work while on the cell phone and doing my weekly pedicure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my DH didn't come home last night, and he won't pick up the phone. Our nanny came in this morning was wearing a shirt exactly like the one my DH wore last night. Do you think I should be worried? I called Queenie, my neighbor and she said not to worry, and could she bring her 6 DCs over for a playdate?

Do you know where I can get organic pot? I like to smoke in on my way to work while on the cell phone and doing my weekly pedicure.

Takoma Park.

[Anonymous]

Hi -
I desperately need some advice. My husband and I are considering selling our 1,500-square foot Cape Cod in Bethesda for $1.2 million and buying a 4,000-square foot manse in a new development in Boyds for about the same price. We need a big backyard for our three active boys and a three-car garage for our minivan, SUV, and weekend convertible. The problem is that I commute to downtown, and DH commutes to Baltimore. On top of this, our kids go to private schools in Silver Spring and Arlington. Do you think this will be too stressful getting the kids to and from school each day on top of commuting to our jobs?

[Anonymous]

Is that Takoma Park on the Maryland side? Because we were thinking of moving there anyway to enroll DS in the Gifted and Talented program.

[Anonymous]

Any mom who is truly honest with herself will understand that I am not bragging.

My child truly is more articulate, cuter, a better reader, a test-acer that any other child - including yours. We have ultrasound pictures of her reading Harry Potter.

Why do you think I am whining when I question why she was rejected by Top Drawer School?

It isn't fair. And it is probably because they let in some redneck with a 130 IQ from Arlington.

[Anonymous]

How did you get the book in there? I am pregnant with quads, and I really want them to be smart, and learn how to entertain themselves.

[Anonymous]

Where can I get a birthday cake for my DD's first birthday that will cost approximately the GNP of a small country? I'm certain my gifted DD will remember this event, and I don't want it to be tainted by a plain old boring sheet cake. I want it to be different and something that people will talk about for years to come.

Also, since I plan have thank you notes written for all gifts, where can I find funky chic stationery for my daughter to use when writing out her notes? She is a genius and will be able to compose her own notes by herself. I want some great paper that makes a statement about who she is (have I mentioned that she is a member of Mensa?)!

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

PP, my DC is also in mensa - want to start a playgroup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my DH didn't come home last night, and he won't pick up the phone. Our nanny came in this morning was wearing a shirt exactly like the one my DH wore last night. Do you think I should be worried? I called Queenie, my neighbor and she said not to worry, and could she bring her 6 DCs over for a playdate?

Do you know where I can get organic pot? I like to smoke in on my way to work while on the cell phone and doing my weekly pedicure.

Takoma Park.

Uhh. Hey. What's funny about the Takoma Park response?

And, hey, why haven't we heard from that other poster who promised to get and share the pot.

No one should ever joke about pot.

[Anonymous]

I just can't relate to anything anyone writes here. All the moms are jealous of me and my child. Who wouldn't be? We're perfect. I am just such a well rounded put together mom who can do anything at all. I just know you're jealous too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where can I get a birthday cake for my DD's first birthday that will cost approximately the GNP of a small country? I'm certain my gifted DD will remember this event, and I don't want it to be tainted by a plain old boring sheet cake. I want it to be different and something that people will talk about for years to come.

Also, since I plan have thank you notes written for all gifts, where can I find funky chic stationery for my daughter to use when writing out her notes? She is a genius and will be able to compose her own notes by herself. I want some great paper that makes a statement about who she is (have I mentioned that she is a member of Mensa?)!

Thanks!

There is a store in Bethesda that sells one of a kind note making paper made from organic pot, blessed by Obama, sold through a company that McCain has connections with. It smells like cherries and can be used as bathroom tissue once the note is written. No waste! Great idea, huh!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, my DC is also in mensa - want to start a playgroup?

Absolutely. We only intend to associate with kids whose IQs match my daughters. No way will I allow her to rub elbows with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else think other people's children look funny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else think other people's children look funny?

Sure. If it's not my child, then of course the others look funny!