DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

My DH (who is a WAHD) and MIL want me to EBF. FWIW, (and TMI), I am tired. Sore nipples. KWIM? When we were TTC, I had energy. Now, a SAHM, not so much. YMMV. What do I tell my MIL? TIA!!

[Anonymous]

Do you know how I can get an illegal nanny? I really want a nanny, but I can't afford a legal one. I also need to make sure that she doesn't touch my kids stuff. It is so hard to clean the house with two kids, it would be even better if the nanny had an illegal sister that could deep-clean about once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For you DCUM fanatics out there, what is amazing about this post is: 1) everyone seems nice and friendly; 2) everyone seems to have a sense of humor.

If you take a look at the other posts from today, there does seem to be a discernable drop in the snark and nastiness that infests and entertains on this site.

So, it would appear that there is hope for us all after all.

Wait, this is post is a joke? I really have a problem with my child being too beautiful!

Well, just make sure you don't go the child-modeling route. Child modeling is trashy and low-class.

Do you mean child modeling or child beauty pageants?

[Anonymous]

DO you know where I can get bikini-wax? Because if you go out without bikini-wax it is like going out in your underwear!

[Anonymous]

I take offense to your beautiful baby. My baby looks like Minnie-Me (really!) - it isn't fair that the only reason people want to look at her is to laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO you know where I can get bikini-wax? Because if you go out without bikini-wax it is like going out in your underwear!

I'm 41 weeks pregnant. Do you know where I can get one too? And does it HURT when you're 41 weeks pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Almost time to pick up DC from camp.

I'll miss this thread.

Back to snark, cattiness, and posturing tomorrow.

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

[Anonymous]

I bet my son's at a better camp than your son.

[Anonymous]

I am TTC - if I eat a donut every afternoon will I have a boy? Or is it donuts = girls...I'm confused...

[Anonymous]

Just got back from picking up DC from camp, and I can't believe what I just saw! My foreign neighbor was driving with her infant in the seat ON THE ROOF OF HER CAR! I really wanted to say something, but I don't want her to be offended because I'm American and know all the laws and everything, and she might not. I know that it can't be safe for the baby to be riding around like that. Think about the sun exposure (I don't think she had sunscreen on the baby either). Should I slip an anonymous note under her windshield wiper tonight telling her to get a clue?

[Anonymous]

Just wondering, when did your child start to read? Mine is two months and already reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. Not trying to brag, just wanted to see what the norm is.

[Anonymous]

very progressive open minded hippie mom of 2 biracial children here, anyone want to start a diverse playgroup to show our children that we love people of all colors?
wont it be great to see our kids of all shades, sizes and backgrounds play perfectly together in the sandbox and teach them about world peace!
email me if you are interested, and please, no white kids or families
peace and love

[Anonymous]

and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.

[Anonymous]

I'm pregnant but I want advice now on what, when and how to feed my child. Can you tell me EXACTLY what you feed your child and when at 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11 months and 1 year old? Please break down the whole day for me so I'm not confused - something like this:

6:00 am - wake up, bottle
9:00 am - bottle then nap
10:30 am - bottle, rice cereal, apple sauce

well, you get the picture. dont' forget i need the information for each month. also, can you tell me exactly when (how many times a day) your child peed/pooped and what it looked like?

hmmm, what else? i plan on letting my baby watch as much TV as s/he wants. why not, right? i've heard its not possible to spoil a newborn. and i think hearing the TV all day long would be really good for language development, right? what about if i put it on a spanish language channel? will my baby be bi-lingual?

[Anonymous]

Just wondering, when did your child start to read? Mine is two months and already reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. Not trying to brag, just wanted to see what the norm is.

Well, I don't know what "average" is, but my DD, now two years old and in her freshman year at Harvard, had already written her first book by the time she was two months old.