What would you do? E Coast (fed job, no family) vs. W Coast (no job, family)

[Anonymous]

What is so awful about his telework job? Funky hours? What else?

My H had a job that had pockets of very odd hours (not telecommuting) and yes those weeks wrecked havoc on him. But he liked the salary and benefits and he sucked it up until he could start looking for something else. Being an adult is not fun sometimes ;you honestly sound like a teenager.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are getting called an idiot because you don't want to sacrifice living in a place that you love for stability for your family. Pursuing dreams and living hand to mouth is acceptable for a young couple without kids. But once you have kids, you need to put those dreams aside and make sacrifices. Like living in the DC area so your kids actually have health insurance, not just public assitance health coverage. And as other posters have mentioned, one spouse pursues their dream while the other works in a job they hate in order to support the children.
And as you pointed out, DCUM tend to give harsh reactions. Most of these people are really nice. And you don't have to live in DC if he telecommutes. There are lots of less expensive areas around here that are laid back.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is so bad about your husband's current job? I guess we are just having a hard time understanding as you have not explained that. You have posted nothing about it that seems negative to me (telecommuting is a plus!) besides that he can't make more $$ than he is now, which he won't in Forestry either so that seems irrelevant to me.

I would counsel him to suck it up at work and take up an interesting hobby to provide meaning to his life, personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your husband telecommutes, couldn't you live in a less-expensive area like Baltimore? You might like it there better than DC--it has a much more laid-back feel and $70K can go A LOT further there than it can in the DC area. You could probably even afford to buy a house there on his salary and a few freelance gigs for you (if you choose to stay here).

Having said that, you sound like an idiot (who WANTS to go on public assistance???) and I don't know that I would want you living or working anywhere around me so maybe you should stay out west and drain their already suffering economy out there.

DC isn't perfect and I like the west too but there is a reason why people live here----because we actually have JOBS to offer!

First of all, I do not WANT to be on public assistance. I want DH to find a full-time job out here until grad school so the assistance would just get us by until that happens. BUT I don't know if/when that will happen.

Your calling someone an idiot who is just asking for some input here is one of the reasons I want to not live on the E Coast. I don't want to raise my kids around people like you.

And we don't want to raise our kids around people like you... so the feeling is quite mutual!

[Anonymous]

No way in Hell I'd move to California without a job lined up (and guaranteed for a few years). California is just getting started with its economic shit-storm, given that Prop 13 has eliminated its ability to react to reduced federal spending.

[Anonymous]

We are already here!!! We're not MOVING anywhere we don't have a job, but staying where we already are (without a job). Or moving E.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are already here!!! We're not MOVING anywhere we don't have a job, but staying where we already are (without a job). Or moving E.

The point remains, OP. CA is going to be in a world of economic hurt in the next few years. It might not be prudent to rely on the job market there - or public assistance.

If I may - what is your plan for when your husband goes back to school? Will you be working? Will he wait to go to school until you get a job? Will he only apply to programs near where you eventually work? And how do you intend to pay for his graduate studies - loans, or your salary?

[Anonymous]

OP sounds really lazy. At least look for waitress or bartender jobs. Am I mean? No.

[Anonymous]

When we were much younger, and the economy was significantly better, I worked and supported DH through his graduate school. We agreed upon this because his degree would increase our HHI dramatically. Had I gone to graduate school we would have started out life heavily in debt bc in my field, there is no big pay off once you have a phd.

Seriously think about the consequences of your decision, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can understand you wanting to live in CA or even the West Coast. I've lived there for the majority of my life and it is totally different than DC. I completely get that. We have family in SoCal and every time, we visit I ask myself why we do not LIVE there. The reason, we do not live there is because there aren't any jobs. Sure, we'd have family, but can we REALLY count on that??? I don't want to give it a try and fail because there is too much at risk.

DH and I work long and hard hours and our HHI is only about 40K more than what your DH brings home, but we have kids and obligations and I have learned to like DC. Sure it doesn't compete with SoCal, but you have to stop comparing. Things will NEVER be perfect. Life always throws you some sort of curve ball that you weren't expecting. Once you are a parent, you have an obligation to your children to provide them with the best life possible. It doesn't mean have a HHI of 300K. The best life could be on a HHI of 40K, but it is your job to bring stability and safety to their lives. Sometimes that means sacrifices on your part.

I'm currently in a job that is far from my dream job, but it pays okay and it gives our family stability. Same with my DH, though he is much more of a dreamer than I am (must be the SoCal mentality....).

Hang' in there and focus on what is best for your children, even if that means a sacrifice for you and your DH. You owe that to them.

[Anonymous]

Are you crazy?! Go where the job is. No fun or adventure in being unemployed. Things have changed people. Life is not all about you and what you want to do. Times are rough like back in the day when you did what you did to survive. All that dream job crap is gone forever. Unless you move to China.

[Anonymous]

I do freelance work and make more than a waitress or bartender. I am not lazy.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you answer the question about what is so awful about your H's job? It may enlighten us.

[Anonymous]

Two things: No promotion potential and in DC. Quality of life for kids counts for something, and I don't want my kids growing up with DC quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Also, his hours. If it was 9-5, it would be way better.