MIL asked DH to live with her after FIL’s death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand her not wanting you all there, too much commotion with small kids, DIL is not even blood family etc, but she shouldn’t be so open about it.
I live close to my dad, my brother visits yearly and my SIL insists on bringing the family and making it a family vacation. My dad doesn’t have a lot of rapport with her or his grandkids unfortunately; my brother and I would just appreciate spending some low key time with dad, but we can’t really say anything because it would be rude.

Your dad doesn’t have a “rapport” with his grandchildren? That’s incredibly weird and sad.

It’s a long story, he is a weird person, and he spent most of his life far away from his grandkids.
I agree that it’s sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand her not wanting you all there, too much commotion with small kids, DIL is not even blood family etc, but she shouldn’t be so open about it.
I live close to my dad, my brother visits yearly and my SIL insists on bringing the family and making it a family vacation. My dad doesn’t have a lot of rapport with her or his grandkids unfortunately; my brother and I would just appreciate spending some low key time with dad, but we can’t really say anything because it would be rude.

Your attitude toward your sil and children is horrible. It's childish and small minded to treat your brother's family this way. They are family. Your expectation that he will be around you without his family is awful. The whole "blood family" is so backwards and ignorant. Grow up.

Yeah I agree this is awful. My husbands sister is exactly the same. She only wants to see him, completely ignores our children and still acts like I’m a random girlfriend he insists on bringing around instead of his wife of 15 years. And my mom does the same with me and wants me to go to dinner with them without my husband saying “he can get himself takeout.”

PP who posted about her brother. I am not rude to SIL, we have good conversations but honestly i wouldn’t miss her if they divorced.
I like my nephews and send them gifts and I used to babysit them and all but when my quite weird dad is in the picture it’s just easier with just me and my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure you can come live closer to us but we know how much you value being completely independent of us, and how you struggle to tolerate spending any time with me or the kids, so we suggest you make sure your new home is in an area with a lot of social opportunities for you so you aren’t needing to see us more than once every couple weeks. Especially with the kids getting older and not being as flexible as they have been for the past decade.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: She's grieving, scared, and probably has not lived alone for a very long time if forever. She asked her son to stay longer. Not to live with her, but to stay a while. Why are you attacking her for that? I understand gently saying no, but your post is really horrible.

She might never have lived alone. They should offer for her to stay with them until she feels ready to make a decision on what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand her not wanting you all there, too much commotion with small kids, DIL is not even blood family etc, but she shouldn’t be so open about it.
I live close to my dad, my brother visits yearly and my SIL insists on bringing the family and making it a family vacation. My dad doesn’t have a lot of rapport with her or his grandkids unfortunately; my brother and I would just appreciate spending some low key time with dad, but we can’t really say anything because it would be rude.

Of course it would be rude. Your brother has a freaking family. He’s not going to ditch them to spend his pto time with people who can’t even stand his family.

Imo it’s normal to spend a few days without his family around, but he’ll never be allowed to do it I think. It’s not that we “can’t stand his family”, it’s just much easier to low key hang out with just my brother and dad for a few days. I would prefer not to include my own kids even, because my dad is too old and boring for them tbh

No its really not “normal” to leave your spouse and young kids regularly to hang out with your sister and dad.

[Anonymous]

This is so selfish of the mil. I hope your dh is on your side, OP.