Is 4 months too young to send baby to daycare?

[Anonymous]

My baby started at 5 months because my mom was able to watch her after my 3-month leave ended. We chose an in-home daycare with 6 kids and 2 providers. She was the only infant and they carried her all the time. Some of the other kids there had started as early as 6-8 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Our daughter started daycare at six weeks. It might not be ideal, but what was best for her was that we had a place to live and food to eat.

What does that mean?

It means if the pp did not go back to work, they would not have the money to pay rent, buy food………

Don’t have babies when you’re broke.

Having a job = broke?

If you're saying only households that can afford to operate on one income should have kids, well then the birth rate would plummet.

There won't be any jobs in the future because AI will replace everyone. Why do we need all these people?

Well this thread has gone off the rails...

It went off the rails because folks like to pretend we don't need people to have children, therefore it makes sense to make it impossible to afford to have kids (e.g. by acting like sending a baby to a licensed daycare is tantamount to child neglect). AI is not going to replace everyone. AI is not going to change your diaper in your nursing home. Maybe one day robots will, but my guess is that is many decades away, long after I have passed on.

[Anonymous]

I totally hear you on the career anxiety—it’s not just about the $40k; it’s about the 'on-ramp' back into a team she loves. But as a dad in D.C. with a newborn (born March 14!) and a toddler, I can tell you that the 'daycare vs. career' choice isn't the only move on the board.

If you’re worried about 4 months being too young for a center (which is a totally valid concern regarding ratios and germs), have you looked into the Au Pair route? It might be the perfect 'middle ground' for your specific situation.

Why it might solve your dilemma:

Career Security: Your wife can go back to work at 4 months as planned, keeping her job and seniority.

Developmental Peace of Mind: Instead of a 1:4 ratio at a daycare, your daughter gets 1-on-1 care in her own home. You avoid the 'constant daycare sickness' for at least the first year.

The 'Work-from-Home' Bonus: Since you have a high income, I’m guessing one or both of you might WFH occasionally. Having an au pair means you can 'pop in' for a snuggle at lunch, which you can't do with daycare.

The Math: I’m a bit of a data nerd, and in the D.C. area, Cultural Care has a $1,000 regional promo right now that actually stacks with a $250 referral credit ($1,250 total off). The all-in cost for an au pair is often comparable to D.C. daycare once you factor in the $1,500/mo tuition + the 'hidden' costs of taking off work when the baby gets sick.

The $1k D.C. promo ends April 30, so if you’re looking to lock in care for later this year, it’s a great window. If you want a referral link for that extra $250 credit, feel free to use ours: https://www.culturalcare.com/refer/?referralId=AD37D4FD

It might be the easiest way to support your wife’s career goals without feeling like you’re compromising on the 1-on-1 care you want for your daughter at such a young age.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife wants to send our child to daycare at 4 months so that she can go back to work. If she waits an entire year she’s worried they won’t hold the job for her and she’ll have to start over again, and she likes her team. She works in education administration earning around 40k/yr. I make 250k. So we don’t depend on her salary and most would be eaten up by daycare costs, which would be about $1500/month in our area for an in home daycare. I’m okay with daycare but worry that 4 months is too young for our daughter as I’ve seen most advice suggest starting at the 1 year mark.

Interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this.

If I were her, at her income, would take the risk of waiting 2 years so kid can verbalize his experience at the school. Also try to potty train him.

That being said, I wouldn't want my husband to tell me to do so. My career, my baby, my decision.

If you want her to consider it, do research and convince her. If you can't, graciously accept her decision.

[Anonymous]

A consistent, nurturing caregiver in first year is critical for trust, emotional regulation, human bonding, brain development and stress reduction.

If your daycare caregiver can do that, its fine otherwise not.

[Anonymous]

I'm all for parents getting six month each to stay with new baby but I'm against one parent making unilateral decision about how to do it. It has to be a mutual agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally hear you on the career anxiety—it’s not just about the $40k; it’s about the 'on-ramp' back into a team she loves. But as a dad in D.C. with a newborn (born March 14!) and a toddler, I can tell you that the 'daycare vs. career' choice isn't the only move on the board.

If you’re worried about 4 months being too young for a center (which is a totally valid concern regarding ratios and germs), have you looked into the Au Pair route? It might be the perfect 'middle ground' for your specific situation.

Why it might solve your dilemma:

Career Security: Your wife can go back to work at 4 months as planned, keeping her job and seniority.

Developmental Peace of Mind: Instead of a 1:4 ratio at a daycare, your daughter gets 1-on-1 care in her own home. You avoid the 'constant daycare sickness' for at least the first year.

The 'Work-from-Home' Bonus: Since you have a high income, I’m guessing one or both of you might WFH occasionally. Having an au pair means you can 'pop in' for a snuggle at lunch, which you can't do with daycare.

The Math: I’m a bit of a data nerd, and in the D.C. area, Cultural Care has a $1,000 regional promo right now that actually stacks with a $250 referral credit ($1,250 total off). The all-in cost for an au pair is often comparable to D.C. daycare once you factor in the $1,500/mo tuition + the 'hidden' costs of taking off work when the baby gets sick.

The $1k D.C. promo ends April 30, so if you’re looking to lock in care for later this year, it’s a great window. If you want a referral link for that extra $250 credit, feel free to use ours: https://www.culturalcare.com/refer/?referralId=AD37D4FD

It might be the easiest way to support your wife’s career goals without feeling like you’re compromising on the 1-on-1 care you want for your daughter at such a young age.

Wow you really want that referral bonus, don’t you?

[Anonymous]

Where is daycare 1500 dollars a month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A consistent, nurturing caregiver in first year is critical for trust, emotional regulation, human bonding, brain development and stress reduction.

If your daycare caregiver can do that, its fine otherwise not.

Yeah that's why it's so obvious when you meet.a person whether their parents put them in daycare as a baby s/

[Anonymous]

This was forever ago, and times have certainly changed, but my plan was 4 mos; got to 4 mos and wasn't happy with the care options, so negotiated a year off; by the end of the year, I was a completely different person, and the situation I would have been reurning to was also very different and a bit like starting over just when I needed to be able to get home on time, not start putting in extra hours to reset my career. So I resigned. I never went back. No regrets.

So, she's not wrong. If she really wants to return, she probably should do it sooner.

[Anonymous]

If you make $250k get a nanny.

She might only make 40k now but if she sits out of the workforce she will go zero, and will have to restart at 40k in the future, which is not helping her earning potential. This should have been discussed a long time ago, but at this point you can't veto her decision and force her to stay home

[Anonymous]

"My wife only earns $40,000 a year so I am entitled to unilaterally steal all of her career advancement and income potential for a year because low earning people are not humans. Something is wrong with my wife appliance, she wants to go to work instead of get barfed on for $0 an hour. Sometimes when I come home, she actually even looks tired and the house is in a disarray even though she didn't work a single hour all day."

-average modern male

[Anonymous]

Yeah, send your 4-month-old to daycare. She's gonna love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, send your 4-month-old to daycare. She's gonna love it.

I feel like you are probably being sarcastic but lots of babies at that age really enjoy daycare. I know that sounds hard to believe but a lot of us with actual experience sending babies to daycare were pleasantly surprised. That age is great because they don't usually have trouble separating from the parent.